


My First Lady

by Gonewiththeblizzard



Category: Political RPF - US 20th c., Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe, Cheating, F/M, Marriage, Soulmates, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-25 20:57:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 52,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12044142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gonewiththeblizzard/pseuds/Gonewiththeblizzard
Summary: When two soulmates find each other there's nothing that can keep them apart. Unless those soulmates are married and working in the White House. Will their love be enough to bring them together or will external forces cause their downfall?





	1. Chapter 1

‘’ Why do you think you’d be good for the job?’’ Bill Clinton, the presumptive Democratic nominee in the anticipated 1992 election asked the man in front of him. Joseph Hayes, the Governor of Oklahoma, was one of the seven people who made the cut and the last one he had to interview personally. Therefore, there they sat, in a Washington hotel room on a warm July evening trying to determine whether he would make a good running mate. 

So far, the relatively young man was making quite a good impression on Bill. While he had to admit that Governor Hayes’ accomplishments were not as many as some of the other candidates he had interviewed in the past weeks, he had to take into account that his state was deep red. Having been elected and remaining Governor for almost 10 years was already a great accomplishment and the little legislation he managed to pass proved to be vital for the modernization of his States and Bill could related to his struggles. Besides, he eloquently answered Bill’s questions, with brutal honesty, an unbiased realism and a deep understanding of the most pressing issues in America. The presidential Candidate was positive Joseph had what it takes to be a good and efficient Vice President.

They spent the rest of the afternoon trading ideas back and forth and debating the roots of the problems, then proposing solutions as though they were already the sitting President and Vice President immersed in their crucial task of building a better America. 

‘’Sorry to interrupt but the room service will be here any minute now. I ordered roast beef, butternut squash soup and some varied appetizers. Is that okay with you, Governor?’’ A strong but clear voice said and both men looked up to see the potential First Lady leaning against the door jamb. 

Ann Clinton, a literature professor, writer and cello player originally from Kentucky, with her already greying tawny hair in a pixie cut, warm amber eyes and a big sincere smile. She and Bill met when they both played in the Oxford music band. They married shortly after returning to the States and finishing their studies at Yale and Berkeley, much to their families and friends’ surprise. Dubbed by the press the ghost wife for her lack of presence on the campaign trail, she was perceived as shady, with something to hide from the American public. Lots of rumors were born out of that sentiment, some ridiculous, some fact-based but in spite of that she and Bill remained together and, to the eyes of those who knew them, happy. 

‘’That sounds delicious. Thank you very much, Mrs. Clinton’’ Joseph said keenly as Ann sat in the armchair opposite them. 

‘’My pleasure. Now, gentlemen, let’s stop talking about politics. It’s so boring’’ she said warmly and for a second Joseph could swear he saw Bill bite his tongue but he quickly composed himself. ‘’Is Mrs. Hayes coming? I ordered food for four because I wasn’t sure whether she would join us’’ 

‘’Unfortunately, she won’t. She was supposed to arrive her last night but her flight was delayed due to the dreadful weather. She’s landing tonight but I’m afraid she’s not going to make it on time’’ He explained, sheepishly. He hated when others take the trouble for nothing, let alone the hopefully future First Couple of the United States. He knew it wasn’t his wife’s fault but he couldn’t help but feel that she failed him. She failed to be with him when he needed her, when it was so important for him, for their future.

‘’That’s unfortunate indeed. Hopefully she will join us tomorrow for breakfast before I go back to Little Rock and Bill takes the road again, that way we can finally meet each other’’ 

‘’I’m sure she will’’ Joseph said with a smile and they suddenly fell into an uncomfortable silence as there was a knock on the door and one of Bill’s aides who was working in an adjacent room of their suite opened it, bringing in the cart with their food. 

‘’You know my State is not known for having the nicest weather. There’s a line from the musical _Oklahoma!_ that sums it all up, _Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plains, where the wind comes right behind the rain’’_ Joseph joked in an attempt to make the situation less awkward. And it worked. 

Both Bill and Ann let out a chuckle and they spent the dinner engaged in a conversation about music and musicals, a topic the three of them loved. A couple of hours later, they decided to call it a night and Bill and Ann retired to their bedroom as Joseph walked back to his suite, right next to the theirs. 

He found it empty. His wife wasn’t there yet and he decided to wait for her reading a book. He kept looking at his watch, growing more impatient by the second. It was already 10 pm, her plane landed at 8 and the airport was only 40 miles away. A million of different scenarios played in his mind, ranging from another delay she hadn’t informed him about, to a car accident or the enraging possibility of her stopping in town without telling him instead of going back to him right away, when she perfectly knew her presence was needed. He was desperate now, he needed to know where she was. 

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and he opened it to find Hillary Rodham Hayes. His wife of almost 10 years and the cause of his torments. 

‘’Fucking finally!’’ He exclaimed angrily as he closed the door behind her. 

‘’Watch that tone, Joe! I’m your wife’’ She warned while putting her suitcase on the bed and starting to unpack ‘’There was massive jam downtown. I was stuck there for more than an hour. I’m exhausted’’ 

‘’How convenient, Hillary…’’ She raised an eyebrow in disbelief and he continued ‘’How come do you always have the perfect excuse?’’ 

‘’Because, it’s the truth!?’’ 

‘’And you couldn’t do anything to prevent it? To be here on time to support me…?’’ The accusations had Hillary raging.

‘’What am I now, a fucking magician? I can’t teleport nor control the weather with my magic wand, Joseph…’’ She said exasperated, ready to settle the argument. 

‘’You could have flown with me the day before. You knew there was an alert and your flight could easily be cancelled but you didn’t care’’ 

‘’I had to work, for fuck’s sake. It was a very important trial. I couldn’t let those people down’’ She was losing the little patience she had left and was silently begging for him to drop it. She wasn’t in the mood.

‘’But you didn’t mind letting me down’’ That was it. They had reached the point when their argument could become a full-blown fight or they could try to cool down an apologize. This time, Hillary had the decision in her hands. She looked at him and took a deep breath before opting for the second choice.

‘’I’m sorry, ok? I didn’t mean to miss this, I swear, but I don’t want to fight, Joe. How did the interview go?’’ She asked and he smiled. 

‘’You are right, dear. We shouldn’t be fighting; we should be celebrating. It was a success. I think it’s a done deal!’’ He announced and bridged the distance between them to scoop her up in excitement. 

‘’I’m so glad, Joey’’ She giggled and caressed his cheek ‘You are going to be the best VP. You and Bill Clinton will fix the mistakes those republican dimwits made in the last eight years and improve America in a way never seen before’’ 

‘’You think so?’’ Joseph asked, visibly touched.

‘’I know so’’ She pecked his lips and stepped out of his embrace to continue unpacking. As she did, she couldn’t stifle a yawn. 

‘’God, I’m so tired. I think I’m going to bed now. I’ll finish this in the morning’’ She announced after a while. 

Her husband quickly stood up from his armchair and wrapped his arms around her waist. ‘’I agree. Let’s go to bed, shall we?’’ He kissed her neck and she tried to get out of his grasp. 

‘’ Joe… ‘’ She wasn’t sure of what she wanted but he didn’t relent and started sucking on that spot that never failed to make her lose control. Instinctively, she moaned and pressed herself against him. Taking it as an encouragement, he tilted her head to capture her lips in a heated kiss she couldn’t help but reciprocate. 

*** 

‘’I think it’s safe to say Mrs. Hayes has arrived’’ Ann said in an amused voice, referring to the unmistakable moans and the bedstead creaking in the suite next door. 

Bill chuckled and tried to focus back on his book but he couldn’t. Those loud pornographic moans he had never heard outside of a videotape despite his numerous encounters with women were doing something to him. He was both amazed and embarrassed at being turned on by his likely running mate’s wife’s moans but he couldn’t control it and within minutes he was painfully hard. 

‘’You know, we could try to give them a run for their money’’ He whispered seductively on his wife’s ear, fiddling with the waistband of her pants under the covers. But she grabbed his hand and put it on his lap and moved to the edge of the bed so she was out of his reach ‘’Ann, please…’’ He pleaded. 

‘’I’m tired, Bill. Why don’t you find yourself a slut to get you off?’’ She suggested, her voice devoid of malice and cynicism. She really meant what she said. 

He stood up and dressed quickly in a white tee and jeans. ‘’I’m going for a walk’’ He announced at the door. 

‘’Ok, be careful’’ She told him and rolled over, leaving her book on the nightstand. ‘’And Bill, try not to wake me up when you come back’’ 

‘’Of course. Goodnight, honey’’ He said after closing the door. 

*** 

‘’It was amazing, Hill’’ He said as he got off her and moved to his side of the bed ‘’By the way, I forgot to tell you that tomorrow we’re having breakfast with the Clintons at 9. I’m setting the alarm for eight. Good night’’ 

That was it, not a kiss or a hug, not an ‘I love you’ just a simple ‘good night’ before falling into a deep slumber, leaving Hillary empty. Although physically she was completely sated (even though she had no doubt in her mind that he had been extra attentive to make up for last week’s ‘insignificant and completely common one-time glitch caused by stress’ as her husband put it, she couldn’t complain), emotionally she was numb. To put it this way, her husband was a great lover but a mediocre-if not terrible love. 

Hence, there she laid, staring at the ceiling and wondering where the butterflies in the stomach were. Where was the magic? Why didn’t she feel anything at all? Suddenly, Joseph’s hand that still grabbed her thigh possessively felt like hot coal and the room temperature seemed to rise dramatically. She was suffocating. 

‘’I need some air’’ She said out loud even though the only response she got from her husband was a grunt. 

She stood up slowly, trying not to wake him and started getting dressed. _I really could use a drink,_ she thought as she touched up her make-up and brushed her disheveled hair. _Or two._


	2. Chapter 2

Bill Clinton entered the lobby of the hotel two hours later flanked by four tall Secret Service agents he’d have rather given some time off that night. Following his wife’s suggestion, he had gone out to find someone to get him off. He wasn’t looking for much, just a girl to do the job and wouldn’t blab afterwards. Therefore, he went to the easiest place when he could get that service. He frequented brothels in Little Rock on a monthly basis, with nothing more than his wife’s knowledge (who didn’t mind since she wasn’t usually interested in that kind of pleasure and gave him freedom as long as he told her) but apart from that, it was a secret between the girls, the managers and him. Of course, he should had known that being the Governor of a small state and being the presumptive nominee for President of the United States weren’t the same. 

At first, everything was going good. Despite the hassle of having his agents check the place first, he managed to get comfortable and was enjoying a private performance by a beautiful brunette when his agents barged into the room and told him they had to leave, as the place had cameras and they had been tipped off about some paparazzi on their way there. Reluctantly but for the sake of his candidacy, he had to agree and they left immediately. That didn’t make him any less angry, frustrated and unsatisfied. 

He walked through the lounge on his way to the elevator and there he saw her, sitting on a stool wearing a white shirt paired with a green pencil skirt and black pumps. Thick curled blond hair falling over her shoulders and deep curves, dangerous enough to cause many accidents.  Truly a gorgeous sight. Without realizing it, he found himself walking towards her. He didn’t know anything about her, only that he needed to. She had a beautiful body and he needed to test the waters to see whether she could alleviate the tension that had been consuming him the whole night, since he heard the potential Second Lady of the United States moaning in the most delicious way. 

‘’I’m paying for these’’ He told the waiter, pointing at the empty glasses in front of the woman and handed him a $50 bill. It was the usual movement, a little trick that always got their attention and if he was lucky, their gratitude, something he could exchange for a favor later. But this time the blond didn’t even look at him. 

‘’That won’t be necessary, sir. The lady has already paid’’ the waiter told him and Bill simply nodded. Putting the bill back on his wallet slightly embarrassed and turned to the mysterious and alluring woman. 

‘’And I thought the beer was good here…  ‘’ Even though he couldn’t see her, Hillary rolled her eyes. It wasn’t the first time she was the recipient of cheesy pick-up lines from men who saw her as nothing more than a piece of ass. And that night she wasn’t in the mood to give him the brush off wittily so she decided to simply ignore him. 

‘’And you are not only gorgeous, you are self-sufficient too. I bet you don’t take crap from anybody, huh?’’ That caught her attention and she looked up and their eyes met

 That simple movement rendered Bill speechless. In front of him was the woman that had been occupying his thoughts the whole evening, Hillary Rodham Hayes in her flesh. He had to admit that she most beautiful creature he had ever seen, the pictures he’d seen didn’t do her justice. He was dazzled by her fair complexion that glowed with a hint of pink despite the dim light in the room, tempted by her heart-shaped mouth that sent his mind to a sensual state of intoxication and captivated by her bright blue eyes that were deeper than the deepest ocean and hid a hint of sadness he found himself dying to take away. 

And he had the same effect on her. To say he found him good looking was an understatement. He had a face that made her heart stop beating and she was immediately drawn into his teal orbs that were looking at her like a painter admiring his muse. His shiny salt and pepper hair was begging to be tousled and his regal jawline to be kissed, let alone his full lips that looked like the gates of heaven and hell. And his muscular body and broad chest that made her weak on her knees. 

In her drunken state of mind, she thought that he sounded familiar. She had definitely seen him somewhere, most likely on TV, but she wouldn’t point out where, her vision was too blurry to identify him properly. Was he a singer? Someone from Guns n’ Roses? Aerosmith? To be honest with herself, she had no idea what those people looked like but he didn’t seem like the type. Was he an actor then? Yes, definitely an actor. He had that charm. 

‘’You are Richard Gere’’ She said proud of herself and he let out a laugh. 

‘’Sorry to disappoint you, sugar. I’m not’’ she ignored the last comment and furrowed her brows, trying to figure out his identity.

‘’Harrison Ford?’’ She said, unsure this time. ‘’Keep trying’’ he said cockily, amused at her not knowing who he was. Hillary drowned another shot before coming with her final answer. ‘’You are Clint…’’ She made a pause to take a breath and Bill started nodding, thinking she was finally going to identify him ‘’Eastbrook!’’ He laughed again, harder this time. 

‘’Eastwood, sweets. And I’m not him. But don’t worry, it’ll come to you’’ He smiled warmly, trying to keep from staring at her cleavage. He needed to control himself. She was a married woman and to his likely running mate, no less. 

‘’I’m Hillary’’ She told him and he thought her name sounded more beautiful coming from her mouth. ‘’Hillary’’ he repeated and she felt the same. They were getting closer, their eyes on each other’s lips, oh so ready to fall into the abyss, but in the last minute, Hillary mustered enough willpower to turn her face so the kiss landed on her cheek. 

‘’Here, look’’ She called him after a while, trying to pretend she hadn’t almost kissed a man who wasn’t her husband ‘’Do you see these?’’ she pointed to the two olives in the martini glass with which she had started the night before opting for stronger liquors like Tequila. He nodded, a little puzzled and she continued ‘’These are my little friends. I can’t eat my friends. Do you eat your friends?’’ 

 _No, but I’d love to eat you_ was the first thing that came to his mind, he knew it was wrong but he couldn’t help how much he wanted her, the tightness in his pant was a good testament of it. But he couldn’t, not only because of her marital status but because of her inebriated state of which he didn’t want to take advantage of her. Regardless, he didn’t make any excuses to leave. He wanted to be close to her. 

‘’No, I don’t eat my friends either’’’ Bill said with a smile as he sat on the stool next to hers ‘’So, aren’t you going introduce us?’’

‘’Oh, they don’t have any name’’ She explained nonchalantly ‘’Wait, I have an idea’’ Hillary was excited now ‘’Let’s name them like the children we are never going to have’’ She said, her happy voice betraying some bitterness that Bill couldn’t make sense of nor ask about, thinking it would be overstepping. He knew she had no children, but he wondered whether it was by choice or because she couldn’t. And most importantly, he found himself entertaining a very dangerous thought: How would it be to have a child with her? Would they look like her? How would they be as parents? He had to stop it, because as stupid as it seemed, he was getting excited and he had already come to terms with the fact that he’d most likely never be a father, let alone with his running mate’s wife. 

‘’Alright, let’s start with this one’’ He grabbed the biggest one and showed it to her. But instead of on the olive, her eyes were focused on his incredibly elegant hands. She imagined them holding her hand, touching her face, holding her hips in the throes of passion. She blushed and quickly pushed those thoughts out of her mind, trying her best to ignore the wetness pooling between her thighs ‘’This is a big guy, isn’t he? He’d better have a big olive name like Oliver Harold’’

‘’Oliver Harold sounds like a fat cat’’ she burst into a loud guffaw and he fell in love with her laugh. It was raw, pure and unfiltered, the sound of happiness that for a moment made him forget about everything and focus only on her. He never thought he could be so attracted to someone, to all of her. He was positive he had never felt like this before but t he couldn’t give in.  ‘’But it’s ok, I respect your decision. Now I get to name the girl’’ she continued referring to the smallest olive ‘’Well, she’s a very girly olive so her name should be Olivia. Olivia Eleanor Roosevelt. 

‘’Eleanor Roosevelt?’’ he asked biting his lip trying not to laugh. 

‘’She’s my favorite First Lady’’ she told him ‘’She’s an inspiration to me and I want my olive friend to be a strong inspirational woman as well’’ He listened to her with a wide smile on his face. It was much more than what he normally heard from the girls he got involved with, let alone when they were drunk. But he was sure that the woman in front of him wasn’t another empty-headed bombshell. In fact, based on what he had been told about her, she was brilliant. Beauty and brains, a dangerous combination.

‘’I think Olivia Eleanor Roosevelt is a royal, though. There’s something regal about her’’

‘’Oh you are right; she definitely looks like a queen. Olivia Eleanor Roosevelt Queen of the olives’’ she smiled at him ‘’She and Oliver look so good together. I think they should become a couple’’

‘’In that case, she has to give Oliver Harold a title if they want to marry. You know a queen can’t marry a commoner’’ He said alluding to the typical tales for children but Hillary looked at him with fire in her eyes as if he had personally offended her.

‘’That’s bullshit! Everyone should be able to marry for love, whether you are a royal or a poor farmer in India. Heck, even here in some parts of America in the Twentieth Century!’’

‘’I agree with you. I was just joking’’ he told her and she seemed to relax ‘’Unfortunately, it’s still a very common practice although I believe it’s slowly disappearing. If you look at the stats, arranged marriages were much more common in the so-called developed world two centuries ago. As a country modernizes itself, they abandon that practice. And If I get the chance, I will do everything I can to make sure every country and every community moves forward’ 

Now it was her time to be impressed. The man in front had not only not dismissed her political streaks like most men did and but he also really knew what he was talking about. He did not only possess a beautiful face but also a beautiful mind. For a moment, she thought how easily she could fall for him. How incredible it would be to marry him for love. It was stupid as she was already married and she was positive she was never going to see him again after that night but for the first time, she felt the magic in the air, that she had been missing for many years, if not all her life.

‘’Sir, you have to come look at this’’ his campaign chief was suddenly behind him, gently tapping his shoulder to get his attention and interrupting their conversation. 

‘’Sorry, Frank. I’m a little busy right now’’ He told him a little annoyed as he shielded Hillary so he wouldn’t identify her. But his aide, who was aware of the antics of his boss when it came to beautiful women was now more determined to get him so he wouldn’t make a mistake that could cost them the election. 

‘’It’s important. We just received the new data’’ Bill nodded, it was important but part of him (or the whole him) didn’t want to leave Hillary. 

‘’Ok, but give me just a minute’’ He finally told Frank and he reluctantly went back to the table where his other aides were seating.

‘’Sorry, I have to go but I’ll be just a minute’’ She nodded. She was feeling appalled when she shouldn’t feel that way. When it was dangerous to be appalled.It was dangerous to care. But she couldn’t help it. She was going to miss him despite having only talked to him for roughly an hour. An hour when he had made her forget. And she needed to let him know how thankful she was. 

In a split second she was on her feet, pulling him in for a kiss. Her lips wasted no time in opening to his and their tongues danced in a familiar way despite having met that very same night. It was everything a kiss was supposed to be. It that made the rest of the world disappear. Her husband, his wife, his campaign no longer existed. Only them spiraling in a whirlwind of passion and sweetness. It was magical. 

‘’Thank you’’ she told him when they pulled apart. 

‘’For what?’’ 

‘’Thank you for the magic’’ she told him and he was touched. Never in their lives had they felt like that. Completely whole. 

‘’I’ll be right back’’ he promised and he brushed his lips against her before going to his team’s table

She took the opportunity to order another drink feeling giddy like she hadn’t in a long time and counting the seconds until his return. She was halfway through her drink when someone forcefully yanked her arm to pull her down from the stool, forcing her to spill her drink. She turned around to see the angry face of her husband that snapped her back into reality. 

‘’Let’s go, Hillary’’ he told her, dragging her to the elevator by the hand ‘’You’ve embarrassed yourself enough. And therefore, myself too’’ 

She couldn’t help but comply. He was her husband, after all who could be the next VP and he was right. There was so much at stake and she had been a fool, not only for getting drunk in a public place but for kissing a stranger when she was married. She prayed for it to never leave those four walls but she had to admit that although she felt guilty, she didn’t regret it. She wished things were different but at least she would have the memory to treasure forever. Hillary stepped into the elevator but looked at him longingly one more time before the doors closed. The fairytale was over. 

As his aides were telling him how he was polling in the different states he could not stop thinking about her, her body, her smile, their kiss. He was aware of how wrong it was but he had never felt like that. He was not only attracted to her body like with the rest of his lovers, but to her mind as soul as well and he had to remember that he was married and their agreement only covered sexual encounters, not falling in love. He surprised himself for thinking that. It was stupid, he barely knew her and she was married. He couldn’t be falling for her, he couldn’t. Could he? So far he only knew that he’d rather be with her.  

When they were finished he wasted no time in turning around but more to his surprise she wasn’t there. He scanned the room to see if she had moved but she wasn’t anywhere to be found. Bill finally decided to ask the waiter, who told him she had left with a man he figured was her husband. Immediately, he felt like he couldn’t breathe and a pang in his heart. Jealousy. He had never been a jealous man in his marriage but the thought of her with someone else was unbearable, even though he knew he had no right. She wasn’t his. He on his part also had a wife who he loved and a election to win and he couldn’t allow himself time to feel jealous, to get infatuated with Hillary or to dwell on what might have been had his circumstances been different. Hence, Bill would remember it as it was, a beautiful night with the most beautiful girl. Something he would never enjoy again. 

With that thought he finally went to his room. Careful not to wake his wife up, he changed into his pajamas and slipped under the covers next to her, drifting off to sleep with Hillary’s sweet taste lingering on lips and her beautiful smile still on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The olives part is based on a real story- thanks to itshillaryrodamn on Tumblr for sharing it.  
> All criticism is welcome :)


	3. Chapter 3

“ _Beep beep”_ The alarm went. Its strong piercing sound ringing in Hillary’s head. She blinked once, twice, thrice until she got accustomed to the bright light coming from the curtains. She was a little disoriented but her pounding head gave her a pretty good idea of what she had been up to last night. She almost jumped when her husband’s unmistakable well-built figure appeared right in front of her eyes.  She put on her glasses but as soon as she saw Joseph’s face she wished she hadn’t. She wished she hadn’t opened her eyes at all. 

“Good morning" she managed to say, feeling no desire to talk to him right now.

“Good morning? Good morning!? Is that everything you have to say!?" His screams were like needles in her brain. 

“I’m sorry but good God, can you please not scream? I have a headache" She pleaded but that only infuriated him more.

‘‘That’s the least you deserve for how you embarrassed me last night! Drinking like a fish! You have no shame, Hillary Diane’‘

“I have already apologized and believe me, this hangover is enough punishment. Would you want me to crawl? To beg for your forgiveness?’‘ _Would you want to hit me?,_ she thought but she didn’t dare to say it out loud.

“Yes! Do you know how it felt to wake up and see you weren’t there? I was worried sick!’‘

“Oh, cut the crap, Joseph. You wouldn’t have cared if you weren’t being considered for the VP slot and that’s ok but please don’t pretend’‘ She said solemnly, her words shooting right into his heart. 

He was hurt. After all, he loved her. She had no reasons to doubt his love, right? He was a pretty good husband who gave her many things, like a passionate sex life or even allowed her to work, which was a no-no for many husbands. He knew she was so lucky to have him and she couldn’t complain. She was just using it as a diversion tactic to distract from her inexcusable behavior, which only made him angrier. 

“I’m going to take a shower’‘ she said before he could respond, her legs wobbling slightly as she walked to the bathroom but he didn’t even try to help her.

“Yes you should! You look like shit. I can’t introduce you to the Clintons looking like that’‘ His words came out of his mouth with only one intention: to hurt her like she had hurt him earlier. And it worked.

“Fuck you’‘ she said before closing the door and stepping into the shower, where her tears merged with the water. Where she allowed the walls that held her dignity to collapse, leaving a naked Hillary Rodham safe from his judging eyes and his cutting words.

 Less than an hour later, Bill and Ann Clinton were already in the restaurant. As they sat in their designated table waiting for the Hayes, Bill pretended to busy himself with the day’s copy of the New York Times, while Ann, who was used to her husband’s lack of conversation in the morning, took out her book and started reading. But Bill couldn’t focus, he could hear his heart thumping in his chest. He wasn't sure whether it was because of anxiety, guilt and impatience? Or perhaps even yearning? He only knew that he had spent most of the night thinking about her and she still occupied his thoughts when he woke up.  He was both dreading and looking forward to officially meeting her. 

‘‘There they are’‘ Ann announced gleefully, waving her hand at the Hayes, who approached their table upon seeing them.

While Hillary was looking down as they made their way to their table, Bill couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Approaching like a shooting star in an eye-catching marigold sundress with nude kitten heels clicking on the marble floor and a white purse she was holding in front of her. She wore her hair down and her make up minimal. She was so beautiful. Without realizing it, he found himself smiling like an idiot but he quickly composed himself, praying that his wife hadn’t noticed. Their situation was complicated and she was so damn alluring but he knew his feelings for her should never be more than platonic. Besides, he didn’t know how she felt. Perhaps she had the common sense that he lacked and regretted what happened last night, deeming it as a drunken mistake or maybe not. Either way, he would never know, he had decided that he would apologize only if she raised the topic and bury the previous night in the depths of his memory. 

‘‘Bill, Ann, Good morning!’‘ Joseph’s voice brought Bill Clinton back to reality and his eyes immediately locked with Hillary’s, forgetting everything and everyone around them. They sat down, Joseph in front of Ann and Bill in front of Hillary, something that both hated and loved at the same time ‘‘Let me introduce you to my wife…’‘ 

‘‘Hillary’‘ Bill said out loud, which attracted Ann’s and Joseph’s puzzled gazes. 

‘‘Do you know each other?’‘ Ann was quick to ask and Bill didn’t know whether her voice hid a hint of suspicion. 

‘‘No’‘ Hillary was quick to say, looking down to avoid his gaze.  

‘‘Yes’‘ Bill said almost at the same time and she looked up again and into his eyes, silently pleading him not to tell. He didn’t know how to describe what he saw in her blues, but there was an unmistakable hint of sadness and was that fear? Either way, he also realized his mistake and went on to amend it ‘‘Not personally but I’ve been briefed about her’‘ he told them and Hillary could finally breath. Then he turned to her ‘‘But that’s not the first time I’ve heard about you. I read about you on Life Magazine and let me tell you, your commencement speech at your college was one of the most fiercely inspiring ones I’ve heard in my whole life’‘ 

‘‘Thank you’‘ she said awkwardly, unable to ignore her quickening pulse and the fluttering in her stomach. She wasn’t entirely sure why she was feeling like that but she found herself wishing she could vanish altogether. 

“My wifey is brilliant, ain’t she?’‘ Joseph interjected and Hillary cringed at his pet name of choice. He always used it with a clear intention: to belittle her. He drapped his arm around her shoulder and planted a kiss on her temple. 

‘‘Thank you, Pookies’‘ she told them, using an old pet name she knew would embarrass him. As a result, he tightened his half embrace and she fought not to squirm. 

‘‘I’m Ann, nice meeting you’‘ She held out her hand and Hillary shook it, flashing her calculated smile that hid her feelings expertly. Then she proceeded to shake Bill’s. It was a short and firm handshake but nevertheless it managed to send sparks through their bodies. 

‘‘So, who’s hungry?’‘ Ann asked, completely oblivious to the situation. 

‘‘I am’‘ Hillary said quickly and practically ran from them. At that point she didn’t care whether she seemed rude. She just wanted to get away from the man who attracted her like no one else ever had. Who made her feel things she shouldn’t be feeling. 

The future President of the United States. Finding out had been like a bucket of cold water. Admittedly, she hadn’t remembered much about the previous night when she woke up but upon seeing him all the memories came to her mind like darts hitting the bullseye of her regretful mind. She had made a mistake sure it had felt nice when alcohol was running through her veins and inhibited all coherent thoughts but now all she was left with was regret. And fear. Fear that it would somehow affect her husband politically. She was fucked but what’s done is done. Now she needed to find a way to fix it. She would have to talk with him but what would she say? Her mind started racing just by thinking of their future conversation and she had to grip the buffet table as her headache threatened to kill her. 

‘‘Try some bananas. They’ll help with your hungover’‘ Bill said nonchalantly from behind her and she yelped. He wasn’t sure why he said that, what he was trying to accomplish. But when he saw her sunny dress next to the fruit bar, his feet seemed had a mind of their own and without realizing it he felt himself there, dying to be closer to her like the moth did to the flame. The action got him a confused look from his wife who was well aware of his distaste for fruit. But he couldn’t care less even though he knew he should. 

‘‘Thank you’‘ she said while retrieving a bowl of freshly cut bananas, avoiding looking at him. 

‘‘How are you feeling?’‘ He asked, desperate to fill that uncomfortable silence while at the same time genuinely interested in her answer. He felt himself impatient to know what was on her mind and heart. Unable to fight it any longer Hillary tilted her head and their eyes met. 

‘‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry’‘ She blurted out, her famous ability to think before speaking nowhere to be found but still in control enough to purposely avoid mentioning the kiss ‘‘I swear I don’t do it often. It was just one night. I had an awful day and I decided to have a drink but ended with way too many. It won’t happen again’‘ 

‘‘It’s ok, Hillary, don’t worry. If that’s any consolation to you, you were the cutest drunk I’ve ever seen’‘ Hillary blushed and looked down. He wondered if in his quest to ease her, he was making her uncomfortable. It was the last thing he wanted but he was just telling the truth. 

‘‘Thanks, I guess but I really like to forget this mistake. I don’t want it to condition our relationship in the future. I mean, if you select my husband we will have to spend some time together and I don't want it to be awkward’‘ Bill’s heart dropped and he couldn’t make sense of it. If that’s what he wanted why was he disappointed? Regardless, it was for the best 

‘‘Of course. Don’t worry. Nothing happened’‘ he smiled with a heavy heart and was awarded another smile in return’‘ Speaking of Joseph. Between you and me, he has a very good shot. So good that you should start buying tickets to New York’‘ 

‘‘Really? Oh my gosh, thank you so much!’‘ She flashed him an impossibly bright smile and he suddenly knew he would do everything to make her smile like that. ‘‘And don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me’‘ she winked and he melted.

The rest of their meal went smoothly. Bill and Hillary’s humor had improved considerably and that had positive effects on the conversation. They talked about everything between detailed policy plans of which Hillary also gave her opinion to less serious topics like their favorite books and by the end of the meal, Bill had made his decision. 

‘‘I was going to wait until I was back in Arkansas but heck, I may as well say it now. Joseph, I’m impressed with you, with your experience and your deep understanding of the reality. I’m positive you would bring a lot to my campaign and my team. So, without further ado, do you want to be my running mate?’‘ 

‘‘Yes! Of course, I do. Thank you so much!’‘ Joseph shook Bill’s hand before turning to Hillary, hugging her tightly and almost spinning her around. Bill averted his gaze trying to ignore the jealousy he knew he didn’t have the right to feel. 

Even if they weren’t ready to acknowledge it, both Bill and Hillary knew that it was the beginning of a partnership that would changes their lives forever and deep inside they were asking themselves the same question: how long would they be able to keep their feelings at bay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all sorry for the delayed update, I started uni and it was consuming. This chapter was sort of a filler but it was necessary for them to set the record straight. Next chapter is major.  
> Thanks for reading and commenting! It means the world! :)


	4. Chapter 4

A week later, Joseph and Hillary were peacefully talking on the couch of the Clinton-Hayes bus. Even though things still weren’t good between them, they had decided to pretend their marital problems didn’t exist so they could focus on other, more important things, like winning the election. Hillary didn’t mind, in fact, she had grown used to it, to that limbo she called normalcy.

“I can’t believe it! I can’t fucking believe it! We had this already planned and now you come up with this?” Bill entered the bus fuming, following by an exasperated Ann. 

“I told you it’s for the best. They hate me, Bill! And I’m not putting myself up there so they can lynch me” Ann retorted with a calm and steely voice, apparently not noticing the Hayes’s presence. 

“I’m a fool! How could I expect anything from you? Instead of a wife, it seems like all I have is a roommate!” That insinuation didn’t escape Hillary, who wondered if she had got it right. 

“I’m also doing this for you! I don’t want you to lose votes because of me! I told you, they hate me. I’m barely on the campaign trail yet whenever I open my mouth, they can’t stop criticism me!” 

"Since when does it matter to you what others say about you?” 

“It matters, Bill. I don’t feel comfortable in your world, never have. When we married I didn’t sign up for this. I don’t feel comfortable” 

“Alright, alright” Bill finally conceded after seeing the desperation in his wife’s eyes “But we need to think of something. Someone has to take your slot and deliver a speech that humanizes me and gives me points with the female electorate. I’m thinking maybe my mother? But I don’t think she would be up for it. What about…?” 

“She can do it” Ann interjected pointing at Hillary, finally acknowledging the other two occupants in the room. Bill turned and his eyes immediately connected with Hillary’s and he run his hand through his hair, 

“Would you… would you do it?” Hillary had an expression he couldn’t quite read with her mouth agape but no sounds coming out. She wasn’t one to be lost for words but this was so unexpected. Finally, a nudge from her husband—perhaps too forcefully— managed to elicit some words out of her and Bill found himself trying to control his overwhelming desire to protect her. 

“Ouch!” she exclaimed and looked at her husband who simply shrugged “Sorry, Hillary. Bill asked you a question” 

“I heard him” She replied, perhaps more dryly than intended, then she turned to Bill “I don’t know what to say. Do you think I’m the right person?” 

“Hell, yeah!” that impassioned affirmation made her. It had been pure, straight from his heart and immediately eased all the doubts about herself “I mean, I’ve seen some of your speeches on behalf of Joseph on the campaign trail, so effective, and who can forget your incredible speech at Wellesley? If there’s someone who can make their heads spin and their hearts beat with enthusiasm that’s you, Hillary. Please, do me the honor of speaking at the Convention” 

By the end of his plea, she was redder than a poppy. She was no estranger to compliments and praise, whether they were professional or more personal, but hearing them from Bill’s mouth had a completely magnified effect and she found herself with her heart about to burst from her chest, a feeling she tried her best to ignore. 

“I’ll do it. What can I say? You have convinced me. Now I may want you to record it for when I’m dead nervous as I practice it” She joked and stood up to shake his hand. Instead, he pulled her for a brief hug that left them both wanting more.

“Thank you so much! And don’t worry, if you need encouragement you only need to call” Bill felt the luckiest man in the world contemplating the bright toothy smile she was blessing him with.

“Yes, Hil and if he’s busy I’ll be damn happy to encourage you, hot pants” Joseph put his arm around Hillary’s waist and kissed her cheek.

 Bill couldn’t help the unwanted feeling in the pit of his stomach at the scene before him but he quickly shook it off, he had no right. He threw a quick glance at Ann who appeared not to be listening, before stepping next to her and taking her hand in his. There was a knock on the door. 

“Governor Clinton, they are waiting for you” An aide announced and he nodded. He looked around and asked everyone if they were ready. 

“Just a second. I need my shoes” Hillary told him and went to search for them, while Bill and Ann decided to wait outside. Her husband, however, stayed. 

“His womanizing is alive and well” He told her with a hint of annoyance in his voice. 

“What do you mean?” Hillary asked as she put on her shoes, even though she knew perfectly well. 

“He was trying to seduce you” His voice was dead calm and Hillary was suddenly afraid and defensive. 

“Joe, I would never…” 

“I know you would never cheat on me. I have you well served, don’t I?” He interrupted her. He had a smug expression on his face that she would have loved to wipe “But that doesn’t stop him from trying. I’ve heard he has a girl in every port. It’s an open secret. I don’t think he will remain married until the end of his presidency. That is, if we win” 

_Maybe we don’t either_ , she thought but never said it out loud. She finished with her shoes and stood up “Let’s go” she simply said as she made her way to the door. As she walked past her husband, he patted her ass.

***

Finally, the day of the Democratic National Convention arrived and Hillary couldn’t be more anxious. Nevertheless, she gave a great speech. Stressing his best qualities and giving examples of situation and conversations she had with people that proved he would be a great president for every American regardless of their age, race, gender and economic situation. The democrats were ecstatic and fired up and Bill was bursting with pride. He was convinced that no one ever could have deliver a better speech. Just after that, Bill accepted the nomination with a speech they knew history would remember. 

But just as things were finally on the right track for the campaign. Hillary was growing more and more confused every day. She was attracted to Bill. She was so attracted to him yet she knew it was forbidden, wrong. At that point, it was not only their respective marriages and the political inconvenience to consider, it was her own self-respect. When Joseph first told her about Bill’s womanizing, she dismissed it as rumours. She was not stranger to them after working in many campaigns, including her husband’s but in every case they had been proven to be lies and everyone close enough to the candidate knew so. 

This time, however, it was different. Every attempt to find out the truth was met with double-talk and she was growing more frustrated by the day. Finally, all her doubts were cleared up when she saw a pretty brunette leaving hotel room one morning at a campaign stop in Louisville. Her first reaction was anger, followed by disappointment at the realization that he was just like the others, and even if she didn’t want to admit it, hidden in the bottom of her heart was jealousy. She didn’t know why the finding was provoking such strong feelings within. After all, he was free to do whatever he pleased, he was free to make his decisions, for better or worse. And perhaps he wasn’t even being unfaithful. Every marriage was a world and she was not going to snoop like and invade his privacy like she wouldn’t want anyone to invade hers. Still, despite what her rational mind was telling her, she couldn’t shake those feelings. 

But she knew she was not going to be the next in line. She knew he wanted her to be, she would have to be an idiot not to notice. He clearly had got bored of having to find a girl in every place they visited and was looking for a travelling bed-warmer but she wasn’t going to give in, regardless of how attracted she was to him. Because she was, deeply. The wetness at her core every time he undressed her with his piercing grey eyes was a good testament to it. That particular night at the party to celebrate the success of the convention, his gaze had been so intense, following her every movement, burning her skin and sending shivers down her body. Still, she had managed to keep her distance. She had congratulated him with a firm handshake and moved away as quickly as possible. When she had seen him approaching with the corner of her eyes, probably to invite her to dance, she had rushed to find another dance partner. And as soon as it was acceptable, she left the party and went to her room, desperate to get away from him. 

Yet, as she laid in bed with her husband pounding into her, she could not stop thinking about him. She fantasized that it was not her husband fucking her but Bill, with his strong arms on both sides of her, his warm breath on her face, screaming her name in between grunts, with his strong arms on both sides of her and his big cock slamming into her, feeling her with her… 

“Oh my Godddd!” her orgasm came with the force of a earthquake, shattering the barriers between reality and dreams. She twisted and turned. She could not think; she could only bask in the sheer pleasure. She was sure an orgasm had never felt so intense.

Joseph quickened his pace as her walls tightened impossible her convulsions bringing him a sense of pride. Within seconds, he was coming too, releasing his seed into her body. When he was spent, he slipped out of her and laid down next to her. 

“Whoa, Hillary, I’m speechless. That was so hot. Are you ok?” She nodded shyly but looked down embarrassed. He caressed her face and she felt guilty “I’m the best. Did you see how hard I made you come? You are so lucky to be married to me”

He rolled over and she was didn’t know whether to roll her eyes or laugh. There he was, her husband, always thinking it was about him. He hadn’t made her come like that, she wasn’t even focused on him. Bill Clinton had. As she slowly drifted off to sleep, she wasn’t feeling guilty anymore, she felt satisfied. She had finally quenched her thirst for him and now she could move on and be around him without feeling like a kitten in heat. Or that’s what she thought. 

Twenty minutes earlier, Bill entered his suite, which happened to be next to Hillary’s. He saw his wife already deeply sleeping in their bed. She, never a fan of parties, left right after dinner and Bill respected that. Usually, he stayed until the last soul had left the dancefloor and had a good time mingling with everybody. This time, however, he was unusually distraught and after the cause of his troubles had been one of the first ones to leave, he saw no point in staying. 

Hillary Hayes had been giving him the cold-shoulder ever since the day she accepted to speak at the Convention. She was never rude but he knew she wanted to keep her distance. Probably the right choice but he quickly found himself missing her warmth and spontaneity. He didn’t know what had happened but he just knew he wanted to be her friend.

Frustrated, he went to the bathroom to wash his face. As soon as he entered he heard it through the ventilation shaft. Hillary Rodham Hayes, moaning again like a porn star. Those little sounds were enough to make him automatically focus on his crotch. He started rubbing himself softly as he imagined she was making those delicious sounds for him and within seconds he was rock hard. He unfastened his belt and pulled his pants down. He sat on the toilet, which was closer to the wall, so he could hear her better. 

He had to chuckle, who had he been kidding? He didn’t want to be just friends. _Friends don’t get hard-ons when hearing their friends fuck,_ he thought. He wanted more. And the more she avoided him, the more he wanted her. Like at the party, when Hillary, looking impossibly hot in her black dress, did everything not to dance with him, he had to fight his impulse to rip off her clothes and take her right there. But he couldn’t have her so this was the second best thing. 

His dick was rock hard and he slowly ran his hand up and down his shaft, massaging his throbbing manhood. He imagined her at that moment, hips bucking, full boobs bouncing. He imagined himself sucking on them as she helped him jerk off with her little delicate hands. He quickened his pace as his moans grew in intensity and frequency and the room suddenly started to feel so hot. He pretended he was sliding in an out her wet heat. He heard her coming and he couldn’t stand it anymore, he needed to come. He moved his hand as fast as he could and he felt that familiar tingling. Suddenly everything turned white. 

“Hillary! Fuck, Hillary!” he couldn’t stop saying her name as different images ran through her mind. Hillary riding him, sucking his cock, him taking her from behind and coating her round ass with his cum… As he came back to reality, he looked down at his legs. What a mess he’d made. His legs and floor were covered with cum stains. As he looked up, he saw his wife at the door, looking like a ghost. 

“Ann…” He said tentatively as he cleaned himself with some paper. 

“Please not her” she simply said before walking back into the bedroom. Bill finished cleaning up and followed her. He saw her sitting on the bed on the verge of crying.

“Hey, what’s going on?” He asked and ran his fingers through his head. He really didn’t have a clue. It wasn’t the first time she caught him jerking off. It normally didn’t bother her, as she was rarely in the mood for sex and she understood his had his male needs. In fact, they had an open marriage. Therefore, her reaction didn’t make sense.

“Please, Bill, not Hillary. Not her” He remained expectant and she continued “She’s not only beautiful and hot, she’s smart and kind. You could fall in love with her. I’m so afraid you will leave me for her” 

He sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. “Baby, listen to me. Nothing is going to happen between Hillary and me. She’s married to my running mate. And even if she wasn’t and I slept with her, I would never change you for anyone, Ann. I love you and only you. As you said she’s hot but believe me I feel nothing but lust for her. I would never leave you” 

“You promise?” her voice sounded vulnerable and he felt so guilty. Guilty because deep inside he wasn’t sure he meant what he was saying 

“Yes” he gave her a peck on the lips. She yawned “Time to put you to bed my lovely Ann” he tucked her under the covers and she immediately fell asleep. 

He put on his pyjamas and laid next to her spooning her. Sleep didn’t come easily that night. He couldn’t stop thinking about whether he had been truthful. Was he falling for Hillary? No, no he couldn’t be. It was wrong on so many levels and would only cause him trouble. What he felt for Hillary was just lust. In his wildest dreams all he aspired to be was a friend with benefits but nothing more because he loved his wife. He loved Ann. That’s what he managed to convinced his mind of as he finally fell sleep, even though he knew his heart beat damn too strong when she was around. And soon it was going to win the battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I had to update for her birthday. I'm quite busy this year so apologies for the delay and I hope you liked it. Sorry for the mistakes and please comment if you can. It means the world :)
> 
> HAPPY HRC DAY! x


	5. Chapter 5

Weeks passed and things between them remained the same. The cat and mouse chase was still albeit on slightly different terms. This time it was Hillary who wanted to be with him, learn about him, talk to him. He was fascinating (and sexy) and the more he avoided her, the more she wanted him. The tables had turned. The solution, however, was the same. As there were lines they were determined not to cross, she ended up relieving her frustrations through sex, imagining her husband was Bill and coming short of screaming his name several times. Bill on his part would jerk off and have sex with other women, seeing Hillary every time. After that, guilt always ate them alive but the next time they saw each other and sexual tension arose they lost their resolve and fell into temptation once again. It was a vicious circle that kept stirring a longing for something they couldn’t quite define. 

In October, Hillary couldn’t take it anymore. While she was still deeply attracted to him, after months of crashing into a wall whenever she tried to get along with him, she had started to resent hit and it pained her. The recurring feeling of not being wanted was once again implanted in her heart. To top it all, she was on the first line of the republican attacks after her memorable DNC speech that despite raising the spirits and renewing the hopes of democrats and independents alike, also got her some backlash: She was the new Republican punching ball. 

Admittedly, Bill felt guilty. One way or another, he felt responsible for the lack of mirth in her smile and the dark circles under her eyes she tried her best to hide from the world under several layers of concealer. But not from him. Even though he couldn’t say he knew her well, he found her eyes to be a window to her soul and it pained him that there was nothing he couldn’t do about it. If he listened to his heart and crossed the self-imposed boundaries to comfort her, he would ruin her life, her marriage, he was determined not to cause one more tear to spill from her blue orbs. Hopefully, he would be elected and everything, their clear infatuation, would end soon. In the meantime, he would keep his walls up, their conversations would be shorter and sparser, just enough to keep their relationship somewhat cordial. He reckoned he would be miserable but at least he would not cause her any more pain. Somehow in his mind it made sense. 

But it was going to be easier thought than done and no one said it was going to be easy in the first place. Especially because they would have to spend the last week of October together. Even though the national numbers were good, some polls showed they were losing support in Midwestern States, therefore they decided to embark in an aggressive tour around the Midwest to try and stitch the wound before it was too late. And who would be better to win over those reluctant voters than an Illinois native with a personal story to share and with an understanding of their culture? Hillary accepted in a heartbeat and so did Bill, putting his feelings aside for the sake of the campaign. 

As soon as they landed in Detroit, the first stop of the tour, he knew he had made the right choice. People from all over the State greeted them at the airport, showing their support and excitement for his candidacy and many— especially women— where excited at the prospect of having a Midwestern Methodist woman as the potential Second Lady. That kind of welcome was mirrored in more cities such as Ann Arbor, Milwaukee, Indianapolis… and that, alongside the fair press coverage, boosted his numbers in those crucial States. Spirits were high and they were really confident they could do it.

Hillary on her part was particularly happy. As she enjoyed the respite from the constant attacks, she was glad to be reconnecting with her roots, savoring the typical dishes, reuniting with old friends… Bill watched her from afar, basking in her laugh that filled the room, her gleaming eyes when talking to people and listening to their problems, her ethereal beauty when she stood behind the podium passionately advocating for the plans that were going to help all those people. It was Hillary in all her glory. Marvelous but still untouchable. 

On Tuesday, however, the unapologetic happiness in his team was replaced with something that Bill couldn’t quite understand. They were in Evanston for the day and the schedule didn’t include anything unusual, yet there was an aura of secrecy filling the conference room where he awaited his morning briefing. He had arrived an hour early, so pumped up to read the news and start working for the day ahead and was surprised to see it already filled by many staffers, coming in and out, taking calls and virtually ignoring him, despite him being their boss. He tried to focus on the newspaper but he couldn’t so he finally asked one of his aides. 

“It’s Hillary’s birthday. I know you said we have more important things to worry about but we want to surprise her with a cake so she knows he haven’t forgotten” he told Bill before storming out of the room. 

Her birthday. How could he have forgotten? When his staffers raised the possibility of throwing a party for her, he dismissed them because his all his thoughts were on the impending debate but he realized it came out the wrong way. He wanted her to have a party and be celebrated, he just wanted no part in it. Now she wasn’t going have a party but he had no choice but to be part in whatever his staff was preparing as one of his aides and told them she was on her way and he had no time to leave. Other staffers came in with a cake and some plates and as they all hid and turned off the lights. Bill told himself he was only doing because he couldn’t get out but it was to no avail, his heart was beating with excitement when he heard her bubbly laugh through the door. 

The seconds before she opened the door felt like an eternity and when she finally did, she took her time before she turned on the lights. Bill was getting impatient; he was really looking forward to seeing her smile. He didn’t want to pretend anymore, no one could see his idiotic smile in the dark and he was free to be himself: a man waiting for the woman he wanted. 

“Oh my goodness!” She exclaimed with her mouth wide open as she registered what was going on. 

After her initial shock, she went on to thank every single person in the room and soon enough she was in front of Bill who was grinning like a love sick teenager. She suddenly felt shy and confused and didn’t know what to say. 

“Bill?” she called him and he came out of his stupor. He didn’t know how much time has passed as he watched her charm everyone in the room, including him, and now she had caught him red-handed. 

“Huh?” He simply said. He blushed in embarrassment and she found it endearing.

“Thank you so much for this. It really means a lot” She continued and his embarrassment turned into guilt. He deserved no credit for her happiness so he didn’t say anything. “So… I understand if you have plans but I’m having a small gathering in my childhood home in Park Ridge, with some friends and my family. Uh… Nothing serious, so…would you like to come?” 

By the time she finished talking she was as red as her lipstick. She didn’t know what had possessed her to invite him but after seeing him in the room, she had some renewed hopes. And what was she hoping for? She didn’t know— or didn’t want to admit it— but she wanted him to go to her party. 

Bill on his part, was surprised at the invitation. His first impulse was to say yes, then his rational mind took over and told him it wouldn’t be a good idea “I’m sorry, I already made plans” He watched her face fall before she composed herself but he could still sense her disappointment. That’s it, he changed his mind. He was not going to disappoint her on her birthday “But I think I may cancel them” 

“Oh, no, no, you don’t have to. It’s fine” She told him. She didn’t want him to miss any opportunities. She told herself there were probably many more places where he’d rather be than her party. 

“I want to. To be honest with you, my plans was to eat pizza and go over some briefings. I much rather be at your party” He winked, his charm oozing from every pore and suddenly she felt the room was getting hotter. Fortunately for her, a young aide tapped on her shoulder, saving her from the potential awkward situation. 

“Great! See you there!” she smiled at him before turning around. 

After her little surprise party, the rest of the morning went as usual. Briefings, photo-ops, visiting some cafés and some spectacular rally that left them fired up. After they were finished, Hillary hurried to her parents’ home to finish the preparations for the party and Bill went to have his last interview of the day for a local radio station. When he arrived, he was told they were having some technical issues and that he would have to wait. He had to agree, the interview was important and there was nothing he could do, just praying. Finally, after an hour and a half, he was finally interviewed. He shone as bright as usual, defending his ideas and raising some interesting points, charming the audience and winning the host over. Being Bill Clinton but forgetting about the time in the process. After he was finished, he went straight to Park Ridge. Three hours late. 

Meanwhile at her party, Hillary was doing a good job pretending she was having a good time but as she and her guests played Scrabble, her mind was elsewhere, on Bill. _Why isn’t he here? Did he lie to me? Do I deserve this humiliation?_ Were her initial questions and as she drowned one drink after another, she came up with some answers. _He doesn’t like me. He got tired of chasing. He only wanted me for one thing but he realized he could do better. I’m not worth chasing. I can’t expect to be liked by someone like him. I’m not good enough._  

“ _You are not good enough”_ Her father’s judgmental eyes seemed to tell her from across the table. _“For Bill, for me, for everyone. Not even for your husband”_. In her 40 years in this world, she had failed them, everyone. From her failure to implement her Education reform in Oklahoma that would have ended children’s illiteracy, to her incapability to have children. At the end of the day, she would rise above and do the most with that she had, with the incredible opportunities she was given and for which she was deeply grateful. But she didn’t have the right to expect anything from everyone, be it Bill coming to her party or her husband remembering her birthday. She didn’t deserve it. 

“Hill, are you ok?” Her best friend Betsy asked her when they were alone in the kitchen, heating up some hot pockets for their hungry guests “I didn’t see you gloating when you crushed Hughie and Tony like you usually do” 

“I’m ok, Bets. Really” She said. The last thing she wanted to was to worry her because of her selfish complaints. She would not ruin the mood. So she flashed her her best  smile and went to take the food out of the microwave. But her friend didn’t buy it. 

She was about to say something went the doorbell rang and Hillary went to open. She had no clue who it was but she hoped it wasn’t the police. They weren’t being very noisy but she wouldn’t put it past her grumpy nonagenarian neighbors. When she opened the door, her heart stopped. 

“Hi” He told her, his southern drawl more prominent than ever. His hair was messy, his coat open defying the cold Chicagoan weather and showing the elegant suit he was wearing underneath. He had never looked so sexy. Yes, every time she saw him she thought the same but there was something about his dapper casual look that was to blame for her increased moisture between her legs. 

“Sorry for being late. I was on the WBEZ and they had some technical issues” She felt herself getting teary-eyed. He came. He was probably tired but he did. For her who didn’t deserve it. Hillary was a mess, aroused, emotional and excited and deep inside she knew she would regret drinking so much but at that point she didn’t care “I brought you something”

He gave her a square packet that she was sure was a book and her heart leaped. She loved to read and she loved that he remembered. With a smile that mirrored those of little children at Christmas, she started unwrapping it. What would it be? _Gerald’s game_? _The Pelican Brief?_ One of her old time favorites like _Little Women?_

“The Catcher in the Rye? Bill, I hate this book!” she said in disbelief and burst into laughter. Bill looked down uncomfortably. “Oh, c’mon, relax, Billy boy! You didn’t know, it’s the thought that counts. Thank you so much! Now come with me I wanna introduce you to the neatest people in the world, my friends and family. No lie, they are hella rad!” She said just like a teenager would have despite having just turned 40 and Bill chuckled at her choice of words. She took his hand in hers and bounced into the room. She was suddenly so happy, all the alcohol she had been consuming was undoubtedly responsible for it, but having Bill come to her party had her giddy. She only wanted to have fun. 

One by one, Hillary introduced him to every single one of his guests, even though they all knew who he was. That included her father, who despite being a staunch republican and still wasn’t sure he would vote for Bill, was star struck and impressed with him. After that, Hillary pulled a chair and offered Bill to sit next to her and around the table where they were playing Scrabble. Amidst laughter, Hillary recounted the previous game and then went on to tell him anecdotes of the many times they had played that game through the years while she drowned yet another glass of wine and flirted as if she were a single woman. Since most of her guests were at least tipsy as well, they didn’t mind. But her parents did. Especially her dad. He couldn’t stand his daughter acting like that and certainly not in front of her boss and potential president, so when her flirtations escalated and she was starting to get touchy, he decided he had enough. 

“Hillary” He called sternly and she looked at him “Would you mind coming to my office? I need to talk to you” 

Without allowing her time to respond he stood up and went to his office. Hillary followed him, afraid because she knew what has coming, so many times in her childhood she’d walked the same way, with her mother always few feet behind to make sure things didn’t get out of control. Behind were left her guests who didn’t bat an eye. Only Bill was worried but deemed it as family dynamics and since it didn’t seem urgent or dangerous for Hillary, he let it go. 

“What are you doing, Hillary?” his tone was cold and detached and Hillary was genuinely scared but she wouldn’t let it show. 

“I didn’t do anything wrong, dad” he banged the table and Hillary jumped. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong? You didn’t do anything wrong?” His screams were louder and he walked towards his daughter pointing a finger at her. Hugh couldn’t stand being treated like a fool, especially by his daughter who should respect him. “Do you think I’m an idiot?” 

“No, dad, I…” 

“Shut up! I’m so disappointed in you, Hillary. I never knew my daughter to be such a whore” 

“Dad!” Hillary exclaimed, hurt by his words and on the verge of crying. 

“Hugh, you are going too far” Dorothy interceded, trying to placate her husband. 

“No, I’m not, Dorothy. Have you seen how she’s acting? She wants to fuck Bill Clinton!” he turned to Hillary “Since you are nothing but a burden for his campaign, you want to make it up to him by fucking him? Offering your body to him like a cheap prostitue. And you are married! I thought I had raised you better, Hillary Diane. But I know you don’t give a damn if I’m disappointed or not. You are going to fuck him either way, you are a tramp. Poor Joseph, poor me, you are embarrassing us all!” He kept mumbling as he left the room and went upstairs, leaving a visibly upset Hillary struggling to control her sobs. 

“Don’t take him seriously, honey. He’s drunk too much” Her mother comforted her and tried to hug her but Hillary stopped her “I’ll go talk to him. I’m so sorry, Hillary”

 She wanted to tell her she didn’t need to apologize for him but no words came out of her mouth. And when her mom left in search of her father, she finally broke down. He was right. So right. She was acting like a slut, trying to seduce Bill. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t for the reasons her father mentioned, it was wrong. She was married. He was too. She was a whore. A home wrecker. The worst kind of woman. Her father was right. He was always right. He only wanted to be proud of her but she always managed to disappoint him. She was a failure. A whore. 

She sobbed silently on the floor before she decided she needed some air and went out to the backyard. Bill was still in the living room playing scrabble with her friends and family and seeming to have a good time but his mind was on Hillary. As soon as he realized she wouldn’t be coming back soon, his protective instincts kicked in. He senses something was wrong and he found himself wanting to protect her from whatever it was. As soon as he heard the front door closing and smelled the lingering scent of her perfume, he stood up, excused himself and followed her. 

He found her sitting on a bench, with her back turned on him. He stood still. He didn’t know how to approach her. 

“Hillary? Are you ok?” he finally asked tentatively. 

“Yes. I just need to be alone for a while” she answered in her perfectly rehearsed voice without looking at him. Time and again people had used her vulnerabilities against her and she had learned to mask them with a robotic tone that didn’t gave away her true feelings. It was a way of self-preservation. However, this time her pain was too much–and the alcohol she had consumed certainly didn’t help– and she failed to muffle an strangled sob.

“Hillary” In no time, Bill was sitting beside her and enveloping her in his strong long arms. For a moment, she lost it and allowed herself to cry in the arms of the man who was dangerously stealing her heart but she couldn’t. 

“Please, don’t touch me” she pulled apart and whipped her tears. She looked down, trying to calm down and hoping that Bill would just leave. But her was persistent, waiting for her to at least look at him. When she finally did, he saw her. 

To everyone’s eyes, she was strong, unbreakable. “Don’t worry about her. She can take it. She’s though” they said. But he now realized that behind that steely exterior there was a soft vulnerable core, a beautiful tender heart. He sighed. His own tears threatening to spill. _She must have been hurt so badly to be like this,_ he thought. But not with him. He would never judge her or hurt her. He only wanted to protect her and take the pain away. If she only let him in. 

“You don’t have to be strong for me” He said and that did it. She broke down again and ever so slowly she moved towards his already open arms, like an abused pet scared of being hit again. She sobbed against his chest as he rubbed her back and whispered reassuring words in her ear. After a while she pulled apart again. 

“This is wrong” she told him. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“This. Everything. It’s wrong, so wrong. God, I’m feeling this that I shouldn’t be feeling” she blurted out, finally able to get it out of her chest “And I’m so sorry because you clearly don’t feel the same way. And you are happily married. And I don’t want to make things awkward between us. Please forgive me.” By the end of the sentence, silent tears were falling down her face one again. Bill wiped them with his thumb and cupped her face.

 “Look at me, Hillary. I’m feeling it too. I’ve tried to fight it but I can’t do it anymore. And damn it is unexpected but it’s not wrong. Loving someone can’t be wrong” She tensed, her eyes getting misty for the thousand time that night “That’s right, Hillary. I’m falling in love with you and knowing you are too makes me the happiest man in the world” 

“We can’t do this. What about your wife? My husband? We can’t do this to them” He took a deep breath. 

“Hillary, I think we deserve to be selfish for once. Stop listening to this” he kissed her forehead “And start paying attention to this” he placed his hand over her heart which was beating wildly in her chest “This is right. Love is always right” 

She looked up and her blue eyes locked with his aquamarine ones. Both shining when unshed tears. Ever so slowly, he caressed her cheeks and she wrapped her arms around his neck, never breaking eye contact. Tentatively he got closer and closer until there was no space between their lips. Their mouths moved in sync, love blooming in their hearts like two long lost souls finally finding each other. It wasn’t wrong. It was paradise. It was magical. It was right. 

“Hillary” Betsy called her. She had gone out to look for them and had watched the whole scene unfold. “We’re leaving now. I thought you would want to say good bye” 

Hillary and Bill pulled apart. She nodded and without saying a word, she walked past her friend and into the house. Bill knew she was embarrassed of being caught but more importantly she was scared. Afraid of being judged. No matter how right it felt to them, the rest of the world would view them with judgmental eyes. He had to admit he was afraid too. Afraid of losing her because of it, despite not being even sure he had her. 

“Betsy” He finally acknowledge her, who simply stood there looking at him. Although he couldn’t quite read her expression, her eyes didn’t seem judgmental but more like questioning. 

“Don’t say anything. You are both adults and can make your own decisions” she began and Bill let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He hoped everyone would be so understanding. “I will only ask you for one thing: don’t hurt her”

“Betsy, I would never hurt her. I love her” He said and both knew it was true.

 “I know you do. I’ve seen the way you look at her. But Hillary is not happy, no matter how hard she pretends. It’s been a while since I saw her so happy. You make her happy but if you are going to be together, the road is going to be hard. Whatever happens, don’t hurt her. You don’t know hard it is for me to see her broken and help her to pick up the pieces” 

Bill wanted to ask more, ask about the times Hillary has been broken but Betsy simply said goodnight to him and left, leaving him alone with his thoughts. In the midst of this chaos, the fog was beginning to clear. He was now positive that he loved her, would fight for her and protect her from whatever it came. Until the end of times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A day late but it's finally here! Apologies if there are some mistakes, I didn't have the heart to bother EAS1928 on her vacation. Regardless, I hope you all liked it and please comment if you can!


	6. Chapter 6

Hillary was seething. As she sat in the living room of the Governor’s Mansion in Little Rock, alongside his team, she couldn’t help the jealousy that was threatening to eat her alive as he watched Bill lavishing his wife with attention. She was aware that she had no right to be mad, after all they hadn’t agreed on anything and she had certainly been intimate with her husband ever since her birthday party. In fact, truth be told they hadn’t spoken much in the past few weeks ever since they both came clean about their feelings but he told her that he was falling for her! Yes, that had certainly not prevented her from being intimate with her husband but there was no love there, only lust. She was now certain that no one had ever been able to make her heart beat as fast as Bill Clinton had. That was love. Yet he seemed to be pretty in love with his wife, judging by the way he held her hand and stroked it with his thumb, the way she caressed his nape as he rested his head on his shoulder… Hillary was getting sick. Had it all been a game to him? He certainly seemed truthful when he confessed that he was falling in love with her and kissed her in such a perfect way that she would never forget. But he was a master orator, an experienced politician and in her drunken state, she might have romanticized it all. She was heartbroken, disappointed and above all, she was mad.   _I bet he’s laughing his ass off right now,_ she thought bitterly. _But two can play this game._

She scanned the room for her husband, who was sitting next to one of Bill’s policy advisors on the opposite side of the room, in a place where Bill could easily see him. Perfect. _I’ll show him that night didn’t mean anything to me either._ With that thought, she stood up and went to the minibar to retrieve a cool beer and a plate of cold appetizers, then walked towards her husband. She gave the beer to him and sat on his lap. Joseph was surprised as she feed him the appetizers with her hands in a very erotic way and her hot whispers in his ear were making him crazy. He always enjoyed the rare times when she was in an affectionate mood and it was definitely not a bad way to distract him as he awaited the results. 

Bill, on the other hand was not enjoying it. He tensed from the first moment he saw her sitting on his lap and started her blatant attempts of seduction and not even his wife’s relaxing techniques could calm him down. His blood was boiling and he felt betrayed. How could he have believed her damsel in distress act? Her fake tears? He had always ignored all the people who accused her of being cold and manipulative. To him she was warm, sweet, with a vulnerable core protected by steely walls but he realized she played him. She was a cunning vixen who wanted to rub it in his face how madly he’d fallen for her and her lies. He was mad she’d chosen that particular moment to show her true colors, when he was about to find out if his lifetime dream of becoming President was to come true. _What a bitch!_ At that moment, he hated himself and hated her for the power she had over him.

His mood started to improved when the first returns came in. He’d won most of the East Coast, including New Hampshire by a narrow margin, a state that held a special place in his heart as it was where everything begun. Then, Arkansas, his home state. He knew his people wouldn’t fail him. He lost Oklahoma, he threw a quick glance at Joe and Hillary, who appeared slightly tense and gloomy. They undoubtedly felt they failed. Since he was on a clear path to victory, a feeling of schadenfreude invaded him. He couldn’t help the smug smile forming on his face and when Hillary noticed she squinted her eyes and glared at him. A little before midnight, he secured enough votes and was declared President elect. He could not believe it, he’d won. He was going to be President and be able to make change in the country and abroad like he had always dreamt. Bill was ecstatic and couldn’t remember ever feeling so accomplished and proud of himself. Nothing could knock him down from this high, at least that’s what he thought. From the corner of his eye, he saw Joseph sweeping Hillary off her feet and pulling her in for a kiss that she certainly didn’t stop. He clenched his jaw and his face began to turn redder and redder by the second, which attracted his wife’s attention.

“Bill, are you ok?” she asked him and he reluctantly averted his gaze from Hillary and Joseph who were still kissing and focused on Ann. Suddenly he had an idea.

He grabbed her head and captured her lips. His tongue forced entrance into her mouth in what he was sure was the most passionate kiss he had ever given her. He was pouring all the rage flowing through his veins into the kiss. People started clapping and they finally pulled apart. He could sense his wife was mad, after all, he knew how much she hated public displays of affection but he decided he would deal with her later. Right now, all he could think of was Hillary. Their eyes met for a second before she quickly averted her gaze, he could swear he saw her eyes slightly misting over. _Could it be? Could she be hurt because she did feel something for me?_ _No, of course not. That must be her wounded ego speaking,_ he told himself and moved to start the round of congratulations.

Family, staff, running mate, everyone but Hillary congratulated him effusively and expressed their hope for the country. She limited her congratulations to a firm handshake and a forced smile. She was genuinely happy for him but at the same time she didn’t want to show any emotion, she couldn’t. That kiss left her emotionally numb and she only prayed for the night to end. Bill, who interpreted it as an act of rebellion and ungratefulness aimed at provoking him, simply ignored it. She was not going to ruin the happiest night of his life. In less than an hour, he gave his victory speech in which he remarked his election was a new beginning, a time to finally do things right. After the speech, he threw an intimate victory party for his team. At 3am most had left and those who hadn’t were passed out on a couch or the floor. During the night his eyes kept wandering in Hillary’s direction more times than he would have liked. She chatted animatedly with some aides, mingled with his childhood friends and even shared a laugh with his brother. She was the life of the party, and without drinking a single glass of booze. Now she was trying to prevent her tipsy husband from falling asleep on a chair. Finally, she managed to get him to stand up and practically dragged him to the door that led to the corridor. They’d decided to stay at the mansion for the night. Bill quickly moved to block their exit and Hillary looked at him with utter annoyance in her eyes. 

“Tell Ann we’re retiring to our room” she simply said and dismissively pushed him out of the way, walking along the corridor and up the stairs. He had to bite back a snarky retort, given that Joseph was present and he didn’t want him to notice that his relationship with his wife was less than cordial. That would only cause them problems, but he was mad and his heart burned from the humiliation. 

Eventually, he calmed down and went to inform Ann. However, he couldn’t find her. He asked his brother, who informed him she had gone to bed shortly after 2am. He thought that it was odd that she left without telling him, but it was odder that he hadn’t even noticed. What kind of husband was he? Ashamed at himself, he went to his bedroom, hoping that she wasn’t mad. When he arrived, he was taken aback by what he saw. 

“What are you doing?” he asked as Ann finished closing a suitcase. 

“I’m going to a hotel tonight. I’ll be back in the morning” she simply answered and walked to the door. 

“Don’t you think I at least deserve an explanation?” He asked, exasperated. It was not the first time Ann made decisions he didn’t understand or like without telling him but this time he couldn’t understand her motives. Upon hearing him, she stopped dead in her tracks and turned around slowly. 

“Fine. I don’t want to sleep next to you when I know you are dreaming about her” He opened his mouth to say something but she stopped him “Please, don’t tell me it is just my imagination. I saw how you were looking at her, I felt how you wished I was her when you kissed me. That’s more than lust, Bill, and I have my dignity. I’ll be back tomorrow and we’ll talk about it. But right now I need a night alone to think before all the madness begins. Goodbye” 

With that, she simply left, leaving Bill alone with his thoughts. Thoughts he couldn’t make sense of. He wasn’t really upset; he didn’t feel the urge to go after her. In fact, his feet felt cemented to the ground. He regretted hurting her, being so careless that she noticed he was thinking of someone else, that someone else was taking over in his heart. And that someone else was none other than Hillary Hayes, a woman who didn’t appreciate it. Ann didn’t deserve this betrayal. Truth be told, she was far from perfect and he sometimes wished she was more like Hillary– or more like he thought Hillary was, but Ann loved him, sincerely. She loved him when he was just a shabby saxophone player at Oxford and despite not liking politics she always supported him and showed him kindness. She was understanding even when he didn’t deserve it. Why did his treacherous heart wanted to leave her for Hillary? It was stupid, he realized he couldn’t give everything up. He couldn’t give up his supportive wife for someone who enjoyed luring men into her web of seduction, he couldn’t give up his stability for someone who would surely ruin his life. He had to put a stop to this madness.  Shaking Hillary from his mind and heart wouldn’t be hard now that she had revealed her true self. Tomorrow, he would talk things through with Ann and everything would go back to normal. He would be President, he would do great things, and Hillary Rodham Hayes would be just a reminder that he once dodged a bullet. 

Satisfied with his internal monologue that managed to ease his guilt, he left the room and decided to go back to the party. As he walked the long corridor, he heard something that left him rooted to the spot where he stood. It was an argument and it didn’t take him long to figure out it was Hillary arguing with her husband. He willed himself not to eavesdrop but his feet seemed to have a mind of their own and soon enough, he was standing with his ear pressed against the door. 

“What do you mean ‘no’? Fuck, Hillary, you’ve been teasing me the whole night and now you are telling me you don’t want to fuck?” Joe screamed in anger and frustration. The slurring in his words evidenced that he had drunk more than he should have. 

“Please, lower your voice” Hillary scolded him, her tone cold and detached, as if she was tired of everything “I’m tired, I’m just not in the mood tonight. Can’t you understand that?” by the end of her sentence her voice quavered and Bill was afraid she would cry. He didn’t want her to cry despite everything. 

“But you are always in the mood! Besides, baby, we just won the election. We have to celebrate…” Joe walked seductively towards Hillary, who walked back until her back hit the wall. He started kissing her neck but Hillary quickly pushed him with all her strength.

“I said no!” she screamed this time, clearly having reached her boiling point and without caring who might have heard her. 

“What’s your problem? You are nothing but a cock-teaser, I’m so fucking hard!” In a sudden outburst of rage, he threw all the things that were on the table to the floor, including several expensive china figures and a bottle of Hillary’s perfume that ended up shattered. Hillary felt her eyes welling up with tears while Joseph ran his hands through his hair in remorse. After the huge crashing sound and the following silence, Bill was worried. He was going to enter when he heard Hillary speak. 

“Please, Joseph, just go to bed. I’ll clean this up. You are drunk” she told him tentatively and he just nodded and did as told. 

Hillary started picking up the broken glass as she reflected on the nightmare her marriage had become. It truly was not the first time Joe reacted like this and would not be the last time. So far, his violent outbursts were directed at furniture, walls… nothing that couldn’t be replaced with money, but she couldn’t rule out that one day she could be his target. That thought sent chills down her spine, she quickly pushed it out of her mind. She couldn’t leave. It would be political suicide and she wanted to use the position of Second Lady to advocate for the things she cared about and help people. People who had it worse. She was so lost in her thoughts that she cut herself.

“Fuck!” she exclaimed out loud. She looked at her bleeding hand, suddenly feeling slightly dizzy. She hated blood. She needed to stop the bleeding so she stood up and went to look for the medical cabinet. It wasn’t in the bathroom. She decided she would look for it elsewhere. 

Bill was still next to the door. He needed to know she was ok. It didn’t matter if he was mad at her or if he felt betrayed. Despite everything, he loved her and he swore that if Joseph did anything to her, he wouldn’t care if he was the Vice President-elect, he would make him pay. When he heard steps approaching the door, he panicked and stepped back to make it seem like he was just passing by. Finally, the door opened and his eyes quickly met Hillary’s. She was confused, he was the last person she expected to see at that moment. After a few seconds of silence, her confusion turned into rage. What was he doing there? Why during this shitty night did she have to run into him? He looked dangerously handsome in the dim light of the corridor. He seemed to be tempting her to find refuge in his arms, probably just to dump her the following morning and then brag about having his running mate’s wife as another notch in his belt. Well, she was not going to fall for that game. She was stronger than that. Bill on his part couldn’t shake his concern, he saw her holding her hand and he knew something was up.

“What happened, Hillary? Are you okay? I heard a noise and…” She froze. _Had he been listening? How could he? Doesn’t he have an ounce of respect in his body?_

“I’m fine. Now leave me alone” She gave him a look of utter disgust before turning around and walking away from him. Somehow his protectiveness and worry turned into rage. How could she dismiss him like that? He was the one who should be angry. 

“Trouble in paradise?” he asked her with false smugness to piss her off.

“Fuck you” she simply told him, trying to remain calm she knew he was just trying to piss her off. Her words, in return, only managed to piss him off even more. 

“Show some respect, I am your President now” His face was red with anger and she was enjoying it. 

“I’m sorry…” she said shyly and looked down like a good girl ashamed of her behavior. After a dramatic pause, she looked up again with a cocky smile “Fuck you, Mr. President” 

That was the last push to unleash him. He grabbed her by the arms, every bit of self-control was non-existent in his body. He looked down at her. There was no denying she was beautiful. Perhaps too beautiful, too tempting. She angrily told him to get off her but at the same her big blue eyes were defiant, challenging him to go forward. Eventually he could only focus on her lips. Her rosebud lips that seemed plumper and more irresistible than ever. Without thinking, he crashed his own lips against hers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you all can guess what's happening next... lol
> 
> Thank you for reading it and I hope you liked. Please leave feedback if you can! <3
> 
> Credits to EAS128 for helping me with my grammar.


	7. Chapter 7

Immediately and against her better judgement, she responded to the passionate kiss that quickly escalated, engaging in a full-blown battle for dominance. Biting, nipping, sucking. Everything was permitted in love and war. In love and war. That thought surprised Hillary. She loved him, she had loved him since she saw him for the first time, but it was just a game for him. She had to stop this madness before she got hurt. 

She pushed him away, angry at him but mostly at herself for being so weak when it came to him. She raised her hand to slap him, but he caught it in the air. She tried to break free, but he was not having it. He held her wrist and looked intensely into her eyes until he felt a wetness in his hand. He looked at her hand and realized it was covered in blood. 

“You are bleeding” he told her as calmly as possible, but worry was evident in his voice. It was a sharp contrast to his angry tone just minutes earlier. 

“I cut myself with some glass. It’s not as bad as it seems” she tried to downplay it but when she looked at the blood, she turned pale. Bill noticed.

“Let me help you” On another occasion she would have told him no, but she was feeling so weak she let him lead her to the bathroom inside the master bedroom.

He sat her on the edge of the bathtub and opened the cabinet to retrieve what he needed. She was slightly annoyed. She hated feeling useless, but she had no choice, she was getting sick at the sight of all that blood covering her pale hand and running down her wrist and forearm. He proceeded to clean her cut, gently and methodically, as if her hand was the most precious art piece. Her eyes once again welled up with unshed tears and not only because it burnt like hell, but because of the tenderness he was showing to her. God, why was everything so confusing? He took such good her of her, blowing when it stung and then bandaging it delicately. She couldn’t keep her tears at bay when he planted a kiss on her palm. 

“Did I hurt you?” After he kissed her hand he knew he shouldn’t have. He thought he was only going to give her more ammunition to manipulate him, but this wasn’t the reaction he expected. She seemed touched by his gesture, she seemed sincere, like when he kissed her in her parents’ backyard during her birthday party two weeks ago. A far cry from the cunning Hillary who was openly seducing her husband in front of him just hours ago. Who was the real Hillary? He needed to know. 

“Please, don’t do this to me. Don’t play with me like this, I’m not a toy for you to play with. I have feelings and you are killing me” She blurted out. She hated the unmistakable weakness in her voice, but she had to tell him. Maybe that way he would have mercy on her and leave her alone. 

“What are you talking about?” He was utterly confused now. He didn’t know where that was coming from. She was the one who was playing with him!

“Don’t act like you don’t know. You’ve been playing with me ever since we met. Making me feel that I was important to you, then you ignored me for months, then out of the blue you confessed you were falling in love with me and then today you were flaunting how much you love your wife right in front of my eyes” she suddenly felt embarrassed at how she had exposed herself. She’d always been a private person, she learned to be like that, to avoid showing her emotions. She couldn’t believe she was reproaching him, his actions like a woman scorned. She decided she would downplay it “It’s okay if you don’t love me and you only said it to get into my pants. It’s not the first time and I can handle it, but I’m going crazy here. Tell me what you really think. The sooner you do, the faster we can move on” 

“I fucking love you, Hillary!” He blurted out. Frankly, he was offended. How did she dare to doubt his love? “And you? You were shamelessly flirting with your husband right in front of me. And after we met, you avoided me every time, then when I stopped you were the one chasing me. I sometimes feel that you only want to have men chase after you, worshipping you only to turn them down because you feel you are too good for everyone. Do you even care about me or am I just another wimp for you?”

She was crushed. Her heart dropped upon hearing the desperation in his voice. She knew he was being truthful. It was time for her to come clean. He deserved it. 

“I do care about you. I was only flirting with Joseph because you were doting on Ann. I wanted to make you think I didn’t care. And if I behaved like that, it was because I’m confused. What I feel for you is really strong and I don’t know how to handle it. But don’t you ever think you are not important to me. You are” She cupped his face and locked eyes with his “I… I… God, I can’t do this. Please, Bill, let’s forget this. Let’s forget everything. Let’s stop it before we get into something we cannot control. It’s gonna hurt so many people and I…”

He silenced her with his lips. Now that she confessed her feelings he was ready to move things forward. He’d never felt like this. It was inconvenient, but it made him feel alive. And she was feeling it too. There was no way he was going to let her slip away without trying. He needed to convince her to give him a chance. He pulled apart and grabbed her hands. 

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do” he told her. 

“That’s from Mark Twain” she erupted in her characteristically boisterous laugh and he joined her. He was one of a kind. Only he could use a Mark Twain quote to seduce her. 

But behind the laughter, the quote resonated with her. For a few years, she had been playing safe. Fear of the unknown, of the uncontrollable, always determined her decisions. Fear of dying alone if she divorced her husband, fear of disappointing her dad… She always knew there was happiness for her out there, but she was too much of a coward to pursue it. Bill was the key to that happiness. The key to true love. In a few years, she would hate herself for letting this train pass by. It was her one in a million chance to be happy. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled her body against his. She could feel the heat emanating from it. His smell. His heart beating wildly. All just for her. She was sure no one’s had ever beaten out of love for her. She thought about the night when she met him. How he made her feel the magic for the first time in her life, how he did it again when he kissed on her birthday and how he was effortlessly doing it yet again. It had to mean something. As she looked into his eyes, she knew it; she had found her soulmate. This imperfect man, almost as imperfect as she was; was perfect for her. 

She kissed him softly and he wasted no time responding. He felt the urge to make her his, but he would respect the pace she decided to set. He would be content with whatever she decided to give him. As time passed, it became clear to him that she was going to give him heaven. Their kiss became more passionate, rougher, and desperate. She started to feel tingly between her legs and began grinding against him. He groaned and in return, his hands went to the hem of her dress. He slid his hands under it, skimming over her needy center and finding their way up to her breasts, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. He started massaging them, first over her bra then under it. She moaned into the kiss, her own hands working now on his belt. They wanted to feel each other thoroughly. Every crevice, every patch of skin. 

“Slow down” He told her when she began to eagerly massage him through his pants. He was already rock hard. “I’ve been dreaming about this since the first time I saw you. I want this to last, baby”

She nodded, and they resumed their kissing. He was so different from her husband. Joseph liked it quick, no foreplay, no sweet nothings. Just sex in its most primitive form. And although he normally made sure she was satisfied, it still felt good to be worshipped and cherished for a change. To feel like she mattered, not just because of her body. 

He brushed her hair aside and started dropping wet kisses on her jaw, her neck, her collarbone. She moaned lowly and he tried his best not to mark her. Truth be told, he wished he could, to send the world and her husband a clear message: ; that this precious girl was now in his arms and he would do everything he could to keep her. And God, was she precious. As he lowered down her zipper of her dress and more inches of her body were revealed, his breath hitched in his throat. He’d been with many women, some of them younger than she was or more athletic, but he had never felt like this. She was a true goddess, with her soft womanly curves and her velvety creamy skin that burned with desire. Everything about her was alluring and heavenly divine. 

“You’re so beautiful” He told her as she stepped out of her dress. He unclasped her bra and he almost lost his composure at the sight of her soft round breasts and those rosy taut nipples. Part of him was dying to have her above him, those breasts bouncing wildly in his line of vision as she rode him with abandon, to pound into her until she was screaming his name. However, at the same time, he didn’t want to give in to his lust. This was much more than that and he needed her to know. He wanted to imprint himself in her soul and memories, into her heart. He wanted her to remember this, the first time of hopefully a life together. 

And she believed her words but most importantly, his actions. She had never felt ugly, in fact, she was aware of the effect she had on many men but at the same time, she knew that there were prettier girls, with better bodies, more skilled… However, Bill Clinton was making her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. He mightily sucked on her left breast while fondling its twin with his big skilled hand. He knew what he was doing. He had probably done the same to many women before her and this was definitely not the first time someone played with her breasts, but it still felt special. Like the first time. She was panting now, nearing her climax even though he had yet to touch her most sensitive area. 

“Please” she mouthed, and he understood. He made his way down her body and carefully pulled her lacy light blue panties down her legs. He looked up, relishing the view. Her eyes closed, her golden hair slightly tousled, her full breasts that were still red and glistening from his ministrations and the jewel of the crown, her perfectly slick tight vagina and her sweet swollen clit that begged for his attention. He smiled, he was going to make her feel so good. 

Without warning, he slipped a long digit into her heat. His cock throbbed in his pants, feeling jealous of his finger pumping in and out of her. He was acutely aware of the fact that she wasn’t a virgin but she was so tight, and wet. He added another finger, but he needed to taste her. Bill kissed the honey brown curls above her clit then his tongue started a torturous way downwards. 

“Please, stop” she told him just before he started sucking on her throbbing nub. He looked up at her and she could tell he was confused, insecure even and that was the last thing she wanted. “I want to pleasure you too.” 

He understood what she meant, and it made him love her and want her even more if that was possible. She wasn’t like the others. His pleasure was important to her too. And despite her big expectant eyes and soft smile, he knew that she had already thought of a very enjoyable way to make that happen and he was already looking forward to it. He grabbed her hand and led her to the bedroom. 

They both worked together to divest him of his clothes and soon he was gloriously naked. Hillary thought she would faint. His chest was so broad as was his back, his arms were so toned and strong and his cock … it was out of this world. Without a word he laid on his back and she smiled widely. She positioned herself on all fours. She wasted no time in crawling up his body and positioning herself over his face. For a fleeting moment, she thought about his wife. She was making love to Ann’s husband on the bed the two of them shared and she felt incredibly guilty and even though she hadn’t seen her in hours, as far as she knew she could barge in any moment. There was also her husband, sleeping a couple of rooms away.All her worries disappeared when his deft tongue started to work on her clit. He was amazing. It was hardly her first experience with oral, but it had never felt this good. It was as if he had known her body for years, for centuries even. He knew where to suck, where to rub, where to put pressure. It was perfect, and she was determined to make him feel just as good. 

Hillary turned until she was facing his feet. She bent and grabbed his rock hard member. It was thick, and long, tip glistened with precum. Perhaps it was the heat of the moment, but she could swear it was the most perfect one she had ever seen. She wrapped her hands around his cock and started stroking back and forth. Hillary circled his tip with her tongue, then agonizingly slow she ran her tongue down his shaft. She took him fully into her mouth, and began bobbing up and down as she massaged his balls. He grunted and she could feel it reverberate through her pussy. She thought she was going to explode. Grinding into the other, they were quickly approaching their climaxes. Neither wanted to finish just yet. He stopped the sweet assault on her clit and almost at the same time, she stopped sucking him. It was incredible how they seemed able to read each other’s minds. 

“I want to be inside of you” she nodded and turned around to kiss him passionately. He rolled them both over, so he was on top. 

“Condom?” He asked. He was sure he had some in his closet, but he hoped she told him she was on the pill. He really wanted to fuck her bareback. 

“I can’t get pregnant” She bit her lip, afraid that she had revealed too much and killed the mood. She had made peace with the fact that she would never have children of her own, but she knew it could be off-putting. Fortunately, Bill interpreted it as her confirming she was on the pill and in one swift motion he entered her.

He gave her a moment to adjust. He was so big, and she was so tight. It was glorious. She had always thought that Joseph was well-endowed but Bill was something else. After a few seconds, he started moving slowly. He was trying to prolong the experience as much as he could but it was a losing battle. He started to pick up the rhythm of his thrusts, reducing her to a streak of intelligible words mixed with moans and trying her best not to scream. They were close, so close. He grabbed her legs and put them on his shoulders, changing the angle of the penetration, getting deeper and deeper every time. Suddenly, she felt her body explode. Every nerve was on fire, every muscle tensed. Her walls gripped him strongly and before he knew it, he was coming too, releasing his seed into her body. The waves kept coming and he still felt the clenching of her walls around his cock, prolonging the bliss. 

When they were finally spent after one of the longest and most powerful orgasms in their lives. He reluctantly slipped from her. He settled beside her and pulled her body against his. She was again struck by the contrast of how her husband treated her and how Bill did. He’d made her feels things no one ever had. He made her feel whole like she hadn’t been in a long time. Rationally, she knew it had been a mistake, if only she could convince her heart of that. If she thought that she loved Bill before this now she was absolutely sure she could never quit him. They were married, to other people, and they weren’t free to be together. The future for them was stormy and fraught with difficulty. He’d just been elected President and her husband Vice-President. The Second Lady couldn’t cheat with the married President of the United States. Everything was so complicated. She dreaded waking up in the morning. She suddenly tensed, she couldn’t spend the night with Bill. Her husband and his wife would surely catch them. She had to leave. She tried to get up, but Bill tightened his embrace, making her lay down again.

“Please don’t leave” He pleaded. He never allowed his multiple lovers to spend the night, but she was different. 

“I have to. What happens if your wife comes and finds us like this? And my husband? He’ll go ballistic if he wakes up and I’m not there” 

“Ann left for a hotel and regarding Joseph… I promise to wake you up in a couple of hours but please stay with me. I don’t want you to think this was a one-night stand because it wasn’t. You are special, Hillary, and I want to hold you tonight. Will you let me, please?” he asked her and started rubbing her back in circular motions. 

She sighed, her resistance starting to fade away. His voice and his touch were all she needed to relax and the warmth of his body was lulling her to sleep. 

“I love you” he pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled her even closer as he saw her eyes flutter. 

“I love you too” were her last words before she succumbed to sleep. He hadn’t expected her to say it back. He was aware of the internal battle she was fighting. But she surprised him with those three words that meant the world to him. That night he fell asleep as the happiest man in the universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 days late but finally here it is! I struggled to write and actually rewrote it a couple of times so I hope you liked it. I'm thinking about updating every week, at least during the holidays. What do you think?  
> Thank you guys for reading and thanks to EAS1928 for correcting my mistakes and helping me become a better writer.   
> Merry Christmas!! x


	8. Chapter 8

Bill woke up when the bright rays of sunlight hit his face. He felt good, and rested, especially after the intense last stretch of his campaign when he was lucky if he could catch three hours of sleep a night. Truth be told, that night he hadn’t slept much more, but nevertheless he felt brand new. Perhaps he was, or could be. Perhaps it was finally time to stop living up to his Casanova reputation and settle down. He was now the President-elect, and he had finally found a special girl. Just looking at her sleeping so peacefully next to him, made his heart burst with pride. If he took into account what a skilled lover she was, and how compatible they were in bed, he was sure it was a match made in heaven. Now that he found her, he didn’t want to let her go. How would they go on? Since there was Ann, Joseph, and the nation to consider. He felt bad for his wife, after all, she had given him her best years, but he had to admit that from the beginning he knew they were not meant to be the same way he and Hillary were, but she would understand. If only Joseph and the country were so easy to predict. Either way, sooner or later they would have to do it. He had finally found a girl worth fighting for. 

He didn’t know how much time he’d spent looking at her when she finally started stirring awake. He pulled her close, and she burrowed her face into his chest trying to avoid the blinding light coming through the curtain, making his heart melt at the cuteness. He rubbed her back while he waited for her to adjust and soon enough, she was looking up at him with those big blue orbs of hers. 

“Good morning, sunshine” he stated softly, and she smiled. Hearing his smooth, raspy voice was a better way of waking up, instead of the piercing beeping sound of her alarm clock or even worse, her husband’s exasperated screams, admonishing her for whatever stupid thing that irked him that day. 

“Morning” she muttered. She was still too sleepy to form any coherent sentence, so he simply held her in his arms. Soon enough, he felt her dozing off again and as much as he wanted her to rest, he knew they had to wake up. They had an intense day ahead of them. 

“Hillary” he gently nuzzled her arm but she didn’t move so he called her again, and again. 

“Oh my God, Joseph, just fuck off. I want to sleep” she exclaimed angrily. Bill was stunned. He didn’t like the fact that she called him Joseph but he figured out it was because she was used to it. 

However, what surprised him the most was that her voice was filled with utter disgust. It was not the way a loving wife spoke to her caring husband. Ann never spoke to him like that, not even after their worst fights. In fact, he only remembered hearing such contempt from his mother towards his abusive step-father. He thought back to the vicious argument he heard last night, and once again he was struck by the resemblance to his parents’ ugly fights, especially at the beginning of their marriage. He knew he couldn’t just jump to conclusions. Perhaps Hillary and Joe were just going through a rough patch, but he’d learned to recognize the signs, and he knew the situation was on the verge of escalating into something much more dangerous. He had to protect her. Now he was more determined than ever to leave Ann to marry Hillary, the sooner the better. 

“I’m sorry. Oh, Bill, I’m so sorry. I… wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean to” she stuttered when she realized her mistake. The last thing she wanted was for him to think that she was thinking of her husband all this time. However, he flashed her a reassuring smile and she relaxed. She knew he understood. 

"I know” he kissed her crown, then looked down at her with deep admiration, love, and something else she couldn’t quite understand. It looked like worry? Concern? She immediately started to feel self-conscious. It was deeply unsettling not knowing what was going on in his mind and if there was anything she’d learned from experience was to brace herself for the worst. He kept looking at her, debating whether to tell her or not, whether it was worth it to raise the topic at that particular moment. Hillary was running out of patience. 

“Spit it out, Bill!” she exclaimed, and he was taken aback. She didn’t want to sound so forceful, but she had always been a very impatient person. “I know you have something on your mind. Why don’t you just tell me? I can’t promise I won’t get mad.”

He took a deep breath, then his brain registered what she had actually said. He playfully nudged her, and she flashed him a mischievous yet sweet smile. He couldn’t help but smile back. She was amazing. With her little lighthearted joke, she managed to ease some of his worries and fears. It was as if she knew exactly what he needed to relax. It was like she could read his mind. He dipped his head down to kiss her. It was a brief kiss, he didn’t want to get carried away. But now he was more confident than ever and ready to tell her. 

“Hillary, I’ve been thinking… I love you. Do you know that? I never believed in love at first sight until I met you. And last night… a dream come true, baby” he told her.

“But…” she interjected. She knew there was something else he wanted to tell her and she was anxious to know, even if it was bad.

“No buts, Hill. Listen to me. I adore you. In so little time you’ve become so important to me. I can’t fight it anymore. I want to be with you. Always, in sickness and health” he was serious but she started giggling before he could continue. He looked at her puzzled. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s just that this sounds like a marriage proposal” she didn’t know why she was laughing. Truth be told, it was her default response when something scared her or caused her anxiety, and what Bill seemed to be proposing caused her both. 

“In a way, it is” he tried to remain hopeful and not to let his heart fall. “I want to marry you. Let’s divorce our spouses and get married. I want you to be my First Lady” she froze. She loved him but she was not ready for that step. 

“We can’t do that, Bill. There’s so much at stake. We have responsibilities, and I don’t want your first months in office to be marred by a scandal. And our spouses, we can’t do that to them. They don’t deserve it. We barely know each other, Bill. And I…”

“Ok, I get it” he interrupted her. Frankly, he was hurt. He didn’t buy her excuses. He knew she was afraid. But he wasn’t going to beg. With her head still on his chest, they laid in silence for a few minutes before Hillary spoke again. 

“Bill?” he looked at her for the first time since her rejection. His eyes were shining with unshed tears, and it broke her heart. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she knew she had to be the pragmatic one. “In another life, I would want that too” 

Silence engulfed them again, yet this time it was a comfortable, reflective one. Bill realized that she was right, but that didn’t make it any easier. He loved her and wanted to be with her. Why did the rest of the world have to have a say? There was also Joseph and Hillary’s potentially abusive relationship. Even if she didn’t take him up on his offer, he made a mental note to keep an eye on them. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt Hillary. 

“Bill?” she spoke again after a while. “I want to ask you something. What about Ann? You seemed so in love with her yesterday. Why would you want to leave her for me?” He hated the tone in her voice, that subtle hint that betrayed that she didn’t feel worthy. 

“Because I love you” he took a deep breath before continuing. “I just don’t love Ann the same way, never have. Now I realize that I shouldn’t have married in the first place if my heart wasn’t one hundred percent in it. We were young, we had fun together, but we were very different and as time passed, we drifted apart. We put on a show in public and we are still friends but that’s it. We haven’t had sex in years, Hillary. She’s not interested”

“And that’s why you fuck every breathing thing?” Her voice was devoid of malice. In fact, Bill would have sworn she found it funny. 

“Yes, but since I met you, I haven’t wanted anyone else. You got into my heart and head so quickly. You are the whole package, Hilly, beauty and brains.” She smiled, he had a way with words, but part of her was angry. She knew perfectly well he had slept around after he met her, and she knew he had every right, but she couldn’t understand why he was lying about it, and she didn’t like it. She wanted to confront him but before she could say anything, he spoke. “And Joseph? You two always look as if you were straight out of a softcore porn novel.” 

She chuckled at his subtle joke but she knew he was serious. She knew she owed him an explanation, but could she find one for herself? She took a deep breath and began. “It’s complicated. We’ve been through a lot together, and he was with me in my darkest hours. I don’t owe him one, I owe him many.”

“So, you stay with him out of gratitude?” Bill asked. He wanted to know more but he knew that Hillary was like an oyster with a pearl, tightly shut until ready. Therefore, with the little information she was willing to provide, he was trying to understand, but not even Hillary understood. 

“It’s not that. Or it’s not just that. I loved him. I was madly in love when we married, but so many things have happened, a lot has changed between us, and now I’m not so sure we’re even on the same page.” 

“But you still have sex” he said matter-of-factly. Hillary nodded but she was taken aback by his statement. How could he be so sure? How did he know in the first place? She had to ask. 

“I… I heard you” he confessed, but she knew there was more to it. She quirked an eyebrow and stared at him. Under her intense gaze and aided by the memories she was evoking, his face started to turn beet red. She was starting to realize what was up. She smiled wide, she was enjoying it. 

“And what did you do, Billy?” she grinned when her gaze focused on the growing tent under the covers.

“I jerked off” he was half embarrassed and half aroused. The latter gaining ground by leaps and bounds, when he noticed her naked breast peeking from under the covers, he couldn’t control the hand that traveled to his erection. Hillary’s smile grew. “And how did you do it? Care to show me?”

He pulled at the covers, exposing their naked bodies. He started stroking himself up and down. She was transfixed with his movements, his elegant hands wrapped around his proud manhood was driving her crazy. She squeezed her legs together in order to get some friction and got closer to him so she could whisper in his ear. ‘’Did you play with your big fat cock thinking of me? Did you imagine I was there helping you get off? Sucking you?” all his fantasies, she was naming them, and they sounded even better coming out of her sweet mouth, with her hot breath on his face. Bill was getting closer. “Well, babe, let me tell you a secret” she bit his earlobe then soothed it with her tongue before continuing. “Every time my husband touched me, I was thinking of you.”

“Fuck!” he exclaimed. He couldn’t remember being more turned on. He sped up his movements, he was almost there. 

Hillary on her part was so wet she could feel the sweet juices of her arousal running down her legs and soaking the bedsheets. She couldn’t wait anymore. She roughly grabbed his hands and pushed them away from his cock. She wasted no time in straddling him, and she swiftly sank down on him, replacing the firm grip of his hands with the tightness of her walls. She took him all the way and for a while, she didn’t move. She was aware of his precarious situation and she didn’t want their fun to end just yet. Bill took the opportunity to admire the beauty in front of him. This was the person God created especially for him, his girl.

He cupped her full breasts. They fit perfectly. He pinched her nipples and she moaned. He’d realized the night before how sensitive her breasts were, so he spent a little more time playing with them. Her moans grew in tempo and volume and she couldn’t keep her hips still anymore. She started moving up and down, letting him slid out almost fully just to slam back down, impaling herself on his raging cock.

“You are so tight. So gorgeous. So perfect” he told her and she smiled, he truly was making her feel like it. Bill grabbed her hips to aid her movements. She moved her hips in circles, back and forth, she was trying to find the best angle. When she found it, she shrieked. Rationally, she knew she should be as quiet as possible but his tip hitting her G-spot over and over again was making her lose control. She bent forward and kissed him passionately. His hands immediately went to cup her bouncy bare ass. He massaged it, occasionally rubbing her crack, and she moaned into the kiss. It was so erotic. Her hard nipples rubbing against his chest, and her clit grinding against his pubic bone. They were quickly approaching their climaxes. Within seconds, Hillary began to tense, digging her nails into his shoulders as her walls clenched. His mouth muffled her strangled cries as she continued riding him through her orgasm, and soon enough he was coming too. His balls exploded with the intensity of a nuclear bomb, and her body eagerly milked his seed. 

They didn’t have time to bask in the post orgasmic glow because as soon as they started coming down from their highs, there was a knock on the door. They both froze, but remained still, hoping that whoever it was would go away. They would not have such luck. 

“Bill?” a familiar hoarse voice with a soft southern accent called after yet another knock. It took them just a second to realize who it was. Joseph Hayes, his VP, her husband. They looked at each other, momentarily too shocked to do anything, but Hillary soon took the lead. She instructed Bill to make himself decent and open the door while she went to hide in the bathroom. 

“I’m sorry, dude. I didn’t want to interrupt you and Ann. At least someone got lucky last night” Joseph said when he registered the newly-elected President’s appearance. Bill simply swallowed, trying not to let guilty thoughts enter his mind. He loved Hillary and she loved him, there was nothing to feel guilty about. “Anyway, have you seen Hillary? I’ve looked for her everywhere, but I can’t find her. She didn’t sleep in our bed last night.”

“She came back to the party after you fell asleep, and I think she was still there when I left. I know some people wanted to go to a bar to continue the party there. Perhaps she went with them” he blatantly lied to him and Bill could see that Joseph was biting the inside of his cheeks. He hoped it wasn’t because he’d caught him in his lie. “Don’t worry, she has Secret Service protection now. She’s safe.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she is” he turned around, shuffling his feet and in a very bad mood. Suddenly, he seemed to remember his manners and turned again to face Bill “Thanks, by the way. See you later.” 

Bill waited until he disappeared from the corridor before closing the door. He walked to the bathroom where Hillary was putting her clothes on. 

“Phew, that was close” he said relieved but she didn’t respond. She didn’t even acknowledge his presence. It was almost as if she was mad at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing” she answered, but it wasn’t the truth. She made the mistake of looking at his face, and her blood boiled. How did he seem so relaxed, even happy? She threw a quick glance to the clock that was hanging on the wall, seven twenty-five in the morning. Suddenly, her brain started to connect the dots. “You did it on purpose, didn’t you?”

“What?” he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was she blaming him for her husband almost catching them? It sure seemed like it.

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice? You coincidentally forgetting to wake me up early like you said you would do? You knew my husband would start looking for me!” After she was finished, he realized his mistake. He forgot but not on purpose. He would never make it difficult for her on purpose. 

“I’m sorry, Hill. I made a mistake. I was so tired after making love to you, I fell asleep shortly after you, and I forgot” he told her truthfully. 

“Yeah, sure” she said. Part of her wanted to believe him, but she had lied to her before when he told her he hadn’t fucked around after he met her, so why wouldn’t he be lying now? It certainly was very convenient. 

“Fuck, Hillary! Why do you always have to believe the worst of me?” 

“Because I heard a lot about your antics to last me a lifetime” part of her knew she was probably being unfair by not giving him the benefit of the doubt. In fact, she realized she was desperate to believe the worst of him, to prove that a happy ending for them wasn’t viable. Loving him would be her downfall. He wanted to say something but she stopped him 

“Look, don’t bother. I know I’m your newest object of desire and honestly that’s flattering but I’m not leaving my husband just because your male ego can’t stand it when a woman doesn’t drop everything for you. For better or for worse, I’m married to him. I made some vows and I’m sticking to them.”

“That’s nice. I would almost believe you If you hadn’t fucked me twice like a…” he stopped himself before he said something he would regret. He took a deep breath, he needed to calm down “Don’t do this Hillary. I know you are trying to push me away. I know you are treating what happened like a one-night stand that is not going to happen again, when you know perfectly well it wasn’t that. I love you and I know you love me too.”

“For fuck’s sake, Bill, stop psychoanalyzing me! I was just horny and lied to you just to get laid, it’s that simple. I needed to stroke my ego by fucking the future President of the United States. Congrats, Bill, you were a fairly decent lay. Now I’ll go back to my husband who fucks me way better.” They both knew she was lying but she was pushing the right buttons. He was now angry and jealous. He was out of control.

“Let me break it to you, Hillary: ; you are a terrible liar.” He grabbed her waist and pulled her to him roughly. He wasted no time in capturing her lips in a fierce kiss. Teeth, tongues and lips collided where anger and passion merged into one. Hillary tried to resist but it was to no avail, his pull was too strong. She felt him hardening against her and the moisture between her legs increased. She had to stop it while she still possessed some self-control. In one swift motion she pushed him with all her might and ran away, knowing she would surrender if she stayed a few more seconds. 

“You’ll be back!” he screamed, but she was already gone. He punched the wall, he was frustrated. She was so moody. Of course, if she weren’t she wouldn’t be Hillary, but that didn’t make it any less infuriating. Seething, he made his way to his desk where he grabbed the phone. He called his go-to florist. If she thinks I’m going to stay here pinning after her, she’s dead wrong.

“Hi, Sally” he greeted the woman over the phone. “No, not the usual. I want a big bouquet of red and white roses” he paused while Sally wrote down his order. “For Ann Clinton. She’s staying at the Capital Hotel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and for your awesome feedback! You all keep me going!  
> I hope you liked the chapter and happy new year!  
> And EAS1928, thanks as always.


	9. Chapter 9

Hillary had to admit she was disgusted at herself. Not only for being so weak and falling into his arms when she knew perfectly well she shouldn’t have, but also because what she did next. And the worst part is that she couldn’t even understand why she did it. In short, she was scared. He was going too fast and wanted to leave everything for her, and she couldn’t let him do that, there was so much to lose. But treating him like shit and then running away was not going to fix anything. It was not going to force him out of her heart and mind. In fact, over the next few days she thought of Bill every day and every night, hating herself for being a coward that only managed to hurt him. Because even if he did her best not to let it show, she knew he was hurting. How could he not? He opened his heart to her and she laughed in his face. He made her feel special and she made him feel inadequate in return. She was such a bitch. She really couldn’t understand herself sometimes. However, there was something she knew; she had to keep being a bitch to spare everyone as much suffering as she could. After all, she knew how that felt.

Because of Ian. Ian Copeland. How she wished he had been a jerk to her, instead of leading her on when he had a family. Because no matter how happy he made her, at the end of the day, he’d always return to them because “it’s the right thing to do”, and it was. Eventually he got tired of her and the rest was history. A lot ~~had~~ happened after that, and she wasn’t the innocent girl she was back then, but the lessons she learnt were still valid today: A paper will be always worth more than love; and infidelity can destroy a person, especially if feelings are involved.

She sighed. After he left her she was heartbroken and made a lot of choices she regretted but at the end she managed to pull through, in part thanks to her husband, and she promised herself she would never think about Ian again. For years, she’d been mostly successful but since she met Bill, his memory was more alive than ever. The two of them were so similar, charming and handsome, with the ability to make her weak at the knees with just a smile. At first, she even wondered whether her strong attraction to Bill was just a way to resuscitate her old lover, but soon it became clear to her it was much more than that. Personality-wise, Ian was much more like her husband, or like what her husband had become after facing so many hardships. While they were self-absorbed and selfish, Bill was generous and kind. He cared about her not just as his little plaything but as a person, and not only that, he also cared about others. They both shared a common goal of helping as much as they could, in America and everywhere in the world. He had such a big heart. 

She knew he was her soulmate, and she was just pushing him away, but it was for his own good. He couldn’t just leave everything. He deserved the chance to have a presidency not marred by scandal and full of the distractions that juggling such a demanding job, and a love affair entailed. She just had to keep strong a little while longer, and everything would work out. 

Over the next few weeks, it fortunately wasn’t very difficult, as they were more than a thousand miles away. While he immersed himself in the transition process, she mostly remained in Oklahoma, preparing everything for their imminent move to DC. The only time her presence was required in Washington was a few days before Christmas for the campaign’s Christmas party, but she managed to skip it, due to a sudden stomach bug for which she was oddly grateful. Hence, the day before inauguration day was the first time she saw him in more than a month. 

She had to admit she would have liked to avoid it, but she was going to become Second Lady of the United States, she had a responsibility with her country. Besides, it was just a concert, televised and with so many people ~~so~~ she and Bill wouldn’t be alone. Besides, Michael Jackson and one of her favorite bands, Fleetwood Mac, were performing. It was going to be alright, she was going to have fun. That’s what she kept telling herself to calm her nerves down but nevertheless she was anxious, she was terrified of facing him. Afraid of falling once again. 

“I love that color on you” her husband said nonchalantly as he fixed his bowtie. She looked at him, confused. She was so absorbed in her thoughts she’d forgotten where she was and was just staring at the wall for God knows how long. He pointed to the velvet crimson gown that laid on their hotel bed and smiled. “You are going to look so sexy” his eyes roamed up and down her body, although he could only see her back, his pulse quickened at the sight of her shapely legs under her short silky robe. 

She turned around and gave him a seductive smile when she noticed the growing bulge in his pants. “Yeah?” she said as she approached him. “How much?” she pushed him against the wall and kissed him hard. He picked her up and laid her on the bed. They were probably going to be late, but she didn’t care, that was what she needed. She didn’t want to think. 

***

 Bill wasn’t angry. He was furious. Seven forty-five and Joe and Hillary weren’t there yet. Admittedly the show didn’t start until eight o’clock, but they were all supposed to be there at half past. He couldn’t help but seeing it as a lack of respect. After all, he had every reason to believe she was doing it on purpose. Hillary had been ignoring him ever since she left his room the morning after he was elected. As soon as she could she flew back to Oklahoma and didn’t even bother to call to wish him Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. She hadn’t even attended the campaign’s Christmas party! He knew he could have called her. In fact, he wanted to, especially after Joe told him the reason why she couldn’t make it to the party or simply because he missed her, but he wasn’t going to take the initiative. He’d done nothing but love her and she was treating him like shit.  She should apologize first. 

Suddenly he saw her. A crimson vision walking fast towards him. Her glossy blond hair was pulled up into a French twist, her sensual lips matched her dress, and her darkened eyes beckoned him. For a moment, he forgot how frustrated and angry he was and just basked in her otherworldly beauty, but he quickly snapped out of it when he noticed her husband running to catch up with her and grabbing her hand. He was disgusted at himself. For a second, he’d forgot everything.  She had so much power over him. Tomorrow he would be sworn in as President of the United States; he couldn’t be acting like a teenager in love. He needed to be strong.

In the brief seconds he still had before they were before him, he managed to tear his gaze from her prominent curves to compose himself. Joseph greeted him affectionately and Bill faked a smile. He liked Joe, but he loved Hillary. And he couldn’t stand that he had her still. Joe was in a great mood, and Bill was afraid to know why. When he told him ‘’You know, women are insatiable sometimes” as an apology, his suspicious were confirmed. He sighed, trying to calm himself down as the green-eyed monster wreaked havoc in him. But he wouldn’t let her know. Instead, he gave her the cold shoulder and ignored her the rest of the evening. That didn’t mean he sometimes couldn’t stop his wandering eyes from focusing on her and admiring her from time to time, but he wasn’t going to do anything about it. For the first time, he seriously doubted whether chasing her was worth it.                   

Hillary on her part, resented his lack of attention. She wasn’t expecting him to be all over her, but she’d been preparing for him trying to get her attention, trying to convince her. Instead, she got nothing but a brief cold greeting. Had he moved on already? It seemed like it, and rationally she knew she should, too. She tried to relax and have fun, but she couldn’t help the feelings of disappointment in her treacherous heart when he didn’t invite her to dance during their private after party in the conference room of her hotel, like he did with at least half of the women of his team. But that didn’t stop her from dancing and drinking, trying her best not to think. Eventually she sat down, her feet hurt so much. Without realizing it, she scanned the room looking for Bill, but she couldn’t find him. Since she couldn’t find Ann either, she figured they had gone back to Blair House early, after all, tomorrow would be a hard day. But even without his presence, she couldn’t stop thinking of him, trying to understand his behavior and growing more frustrated and unsure every passing second. She needed to stop. She decided to take a break from the loud music and the crowded room and go to the toilet, hoping she would be able to relax there. 

As she made her way to the secluded bathroom at the end of the long-carpeted corridor, she spotted several agents guarding it. They, who were aware of the special nature of the relationship between the President-elect and his VP’s wife, didn’t stop her. After all, they didn’t know whether their boss had summoned her, and they didn’t want to draw more attention to what he was doing. Thus, they let her into the bathroom without questioning. Hillary didn’t ask any questions either and assumed they it was just a protocol thing, but when she opened the door, she understood. Bill had ~~his~~ one of his advisors pined against the wall and was kissing her hard as he played with her big breasts and she fumbled with his belt. Kendra Wilkins. Single, in her early thirties, smart and beautiful. She couldn’t help feeling inadequate. Upon the intrusion, Bill and Kendra pulled apart. She covered her exposed breasts and hid behind Bill. For what seemed like the longest time, the two of them stared into Hillary’s eyes that were misting over. That bubbling cocktail of emotions was making her dizzy. All of a sudden, she run away, leaving emptiness in him that he didn’t want to feel.

He stood still. He didn’t know what to do. He was a proud man and she had hurt him, but he hated seeing her cry. He wanted to follow her and comfort her until her tears turned into laughter. Eventually his heart won over his pride and after a brief apology to Kendra, he went after her. He went up the stairs and to her room. He recognized it because of the agents flanking the door. He motioned for them to give them some privacy and they moved to the end of the corridor. He sighed. He was grateful for their service, but he didn’t like the feeling of being watched all the time. They’d been trained to see, hear and remain silent, but he felt this moment belonged only to him and Hillary. He quietly knocked on the door and waited. 

Silence. 

He knocked again. He was sure she was inside. Suddenly he heard a noise and the sound of the peephole being pulled up. He smiled, she couldn’t be quiet.

 “Hillary, I know you’re in there” he said but suddenly stopped. He wanted to make sure it wasn’t Joe who was listening. He looked at the agents at the end of the corridor and he didn’t see Joe’s, so he proceeded. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Hillary.” 

Truth be told, he was feeling guilty, even if he knew he shouldn’t feel that way, after all, they never agreed to have an exclusive relationship, let alone a relationship at all. If she had slept with her husband as recently as that evening, he could have fun with other women too. But he couldn’t help it. 

“You don’t have to apologize. I mean, you’re free to do whatever you want. We’re nothing” she said after a while, without opening the door. Her voice was soft, and Bill could tell she was crying, and it broke his heart. 

“But I want to. I care about you, Hill.” 

“If you cared about me you wouldn’t have been getting it on with Kendra!” she knew she was being unfair, but she was mad now. If there was something she couldn’t stand, it was being lied to. “I don’t give a damn about what you do or don’t do."

“If I didn’t care I would be finishing what I started with Kendra instead of here checking on you!” he didn’t care if he sounded harsh. He was getting tired of her always believing the worst of him. “And I know you care too. You wouldn’t be upset if you didn’t.” 

‘’Please, Bill, don’t do this. We can’t do this” she paused. She wanted to choose her words carefully “You… We… have responsibilities and so many people would get hurt, including you. I can’t let you do it” Hillary was concerned about his presidency and their respective spouses above all, but Bill was having none of it. 

“With all due respect, Hilary, who the fuck are you to make decisions for me? I’m a grown man. I’m the fucking President of the United States and I want you, dammit. Why don’t you get off your high horse and admit the truth? You’re scared” he was angry. He was sure he had reached his boiling point. Once again, his words were met with silence and with hot tears in his eyes, he finally exploded. “You know what? I’m done! I’m sick of you being a selfish bitch who cares about everything but what I want!” 

By the end of his sentence, he was crying. He knew Hillary could hear him, he knew his bodyguards could see him, but he did not give a damn. He was utterly devastated. He ran towards the elevator, he needed to get away. 

On the other side of the door, something clicked in her head. He was right, she was scared and was putting everybody’s happiness above him. She couldn’t continue like that. She was only hurting the person she loved the most. She exited her room and ran and run, hoping to catch him. She managed to get into the elevator just before the doors closed, and without wasting more time, she launched herself into his arms. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Billy. You’re so right” she kissed him. For a moment he was too stunned to respond, and Hillary was worried it was too late. She pulled apart and noticed his tear-stained cheeks and she tiptoed to kiss them away. She was relieved when Bill didn’t push her away, but she was still waiting for a reaction “I’m sorry. Fuck! I hate seeing you cry. I hate making you cry. Could you forgive me? I know I can be a selfish bitch with a holier than thou attitude but I wanna try. I mean I wanna be with you too. It’s gonna be hard and I’m scared but I promise I’ll do my best because I love you.” his heart stopped when he heard her last words. Sure, he’d heard them before, the night he made her his, but she was so tired she fell asleep right after. Right now, she was perfectly conscious, and although he suspected it, hearing it was something completely different. He knew she meant it, her intense blue eyes burning into his told him that much. His heart was going to beat out of his chest. He was too delighted to speak, and Hillary misinterpreted his silence. 

“That’s it if you still w…” she started but he silenced her with a kiss. It was slow yet smoldering and reassuring in ways words could never be. It was about sharing their love for each other.  A love that under the eyes of others was wrong but to them, it was right. They would be alright. Ever so slowly, the kiss grew in passion and their hands started exploring each other’s bodies and his found purchase on her breasts, and she moaned. 

They were so engrossed in their kiss; they didn’t notice the elevator was going down. Or that the doors opened to reveal someone who had to blink twice upon seeing the ardent lovers. 

“Bill?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I hope you like it! x


	10. Chapter 10

Three weeks later, Bill sat in his office surrounded by endless briefings and policy papers. The Oval Office, so antique and opulent. The first time he set foot in it after being sworn in Bill spent hours contemplating every picture, every bust, every pattern. Like so many others before, his history would be linked to that office forever and would he do his best to honor it. Thus, he’d been working non-stop after he took office, determined to be the best President the country had ever had, not wanting to prove the Republican’s point that he was just a lazy Southerner who was more interested in chasing skirts than in actually working. Nothing could be further from the truth. His heart was now taken, and he had no desire to revert to his old ways. 

He smiled at the warmth that spread across his chest whenever he thought of her, his Hillary. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her, especially when he thought about how close he’d been of losing her the night before his inauguration. They were being careless, love and desire clouding their judgement, and someone walked in on them. When he heard her voice, his heart stopped, and he could tell Hillary’s did too. Afraid she wasn’t alone, he turned around, his best and most effective version of puppy eyes on display. Fortunately, she was alone indeed, and he breathed a sigh of relief. “Mama, you scared me” he told her, and his mom bit her lip apologetically. 

“Sorry, Bill. I wasn’t expecting to find you two here… like this…”  Bill helped Hillary get up. He could feel Virginia’s eyes analyzing her and as soon as Hillary, who was mortified, excused herself and left, she gave him her verdict. “You know, son, she’s certainly prettier than Ann but beware of her. You know I respect your private decisions and if you cheat on your wife or not it’s none of my business, but you are the President now and you have to be more careful. Besides son, I don’t trust her. She’s not like the others and nothing will stop her until she gets to the top. I see it in her eyes. She craves power, and nothing is off-limits.” Bill quickly defended her, but his mother continued. “What do you know about her?” 

Although he believed his mom’s claims to be outright false, that question replayed in his mind over the following weeks. What did he know about her? Not much apart from the fact that his heart beat like crazy when he was with her, and what he’d read when he was briefed about her. He knew she wasn’t a bad person, a power-hungry woman like his mom said, but nevertheless he wanted to know more about her. He was relieved Hillary hadn’t been too weirded out after that encounter with his mom. In fact, he felt her closer every day and he was starting to peel off the layers and getting to know the real Hillary. He now knew her favorite color, food, hobbies, and a few anecdotes from her childhood, teenage years… and he’d shared his with her. He wished they had more time but there was nothing he could do about it. Instead of complaining, he was happy for what he got. A few months ago his life was empty, and he jumped from woman to woman, never hoping to find a fraction of what Hillary made him feel. He was happy, like an excited teenager discovering love for the first time, even if he didn’t have all the time in the world to focus on her. 

Another thing they couldn’t find time for was sex. Every time they started getting it on, someone or something interrupted them, be it a phone call from a foreign dignitary, an unexpected briefing on the growing tensions in some area ~~s~~ , or even their spouses. Fortunately, she’d been understanding, showing him what a true gem she was. But desire was running high. Both of their bodies screamed for release and they couldn’t wait any longer. _Tonight,_ he thought with a smile. Since Valentine’s Day was in two days and he’d be away as part of his first official trip, he had chosen that day, February the 12th to celebrate their love. 

However, it wouldn’t be your typical Valentine’s day dinner. To begin with, they’d be having dinner with many other people, as he had to host a ~~s~~ State dinner for the president of Italy. Hillary didn’t like the idea at first but after insisting for days, he’d finally convinced her. He was actually looking forward to parading her around as his date, as his First Lady, because in his mind she was. Of course, he’d rather have dinner alone with her, but this was the only day he would finish work early. After the dinner, he would be all hers. Nobody would disturb them, ~~as~~ Ann was back in Arkansas for the week and he’d sent Joe to give a speech in Philadelphia at the annual AIPAC Convention. Bill would make sure it was a night to remember. 

The hours before the dinner seemed endless to Bill. He’d just left the situation room where they’d been discussing the implications of the Rwandan civil war, when he was informed that Hillary had arrived in the residence. That was enough to give his tired mind a respite and fill it with anticipation. Without wasting any time, he went to his room to put on his tux and brush his hair and soon he was ready to meet his love. He’d been informed she was in the library. He had to smile, she was a book worm just like he was. He’d never dreamed of finding someone so compatible. Theirs was indeed a match made in heaven. 

He opened the door quietly and studied her for a while. Her back was turned to him and he could tell she was taking a look at all the books. She was wearing a royal blue dress that he was sure would make her eyes sparkle, and her hair was pulled up in a loose chignon, leaving her appetizing neck bare. She picked up one book and was so engrossed she didn’t notice his presence. 

“Hillary” he called her a couple of minutes later. She jumped, put the book in its place and turned around with a hand on her heart. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” she said apologetically. She looked like a little girl who’d been caught red-handed. She often had these reactions, whenever she was caught doing something she’d consider improper and he once again wondered whether it was rooted in her childhood. She’d only told him positive things about it but he’d met her father, the unemotional strong-willed navy veteran who didn’t seem to tolerate failure. These kinds of reactions only reinforced his belief that her father had been too hard on her (perhaps still was in some form), and that only caused her to be just as hard on herself. 

He would reassure her, he would teach her to unlearn that behavior and show her that with him everything would be alright. He felt like he could heal her and perhaps it was too early, but he felt she could heal him too. While his heart filled with an unexpected and overwhelming desire to protect her, another part of his body also reacted to Hillary. His cock hardened as he took in her appearance. She looked like a vision, her make up complimented her delicate features, a sweetheart neckline framed her generous bust and a dangerously long leg slit invited him to sin. 

“You don’t have to apologize, ever. My house is your house and I want you to feel like you are home” he approached her. He dipped his head to capture her lips in a soft, sweet kiss, that left them both wanting more. His hand travelled to her cheek and she smiled, which only made her even more beautiful in his eyes. 

“You look beautiful, Hillary. You are beautiful” he told her truthfully and she blushed. Perhaps it was simply because her walls were down due to her previous fright, but Bill found himself enchanted by this shy side of her. He absolutely loved her confident side as well, but he found this form of vulnerability very endearing and he considered himself privileged to see it. Besides, it did wonders to his ego to see that he could make such a strong woman blush like a teenager with a crush. 

“So, what do we have ~~in~~ here, darling?” he asked referring to the book she had in her hands. She turned it around for him to see. “ _Little Women_ , huh? Not bad.” 

“It’s one of my favorite books. I used to reread it every year when I was growing up. It was so easy to identify with some of the girls’ problems even though it was written almost a century ago” she explained to him, her momentary shyness suddenly gone and replaced with an openness not everyone was privileged to see. After all, one could learn much about a person judging by the books they liked. This marked the beginning of a long conversation about books that lasted until they were informed that the Italian Prime Minister had arrived. 

The dinner went fairly well in general terms, despite him wanting for the dinner to be over as soon as possible so he could be with Hillary alone. However, he found himself resenting how much the Prime Minister seemed to enjoy talking to Hillary. Rationally he knew they probably weren’t flirting, ~~as~~ his wife was right beside them, but every time he made her laugh, Bill felt a pang of jealousy in his chest. He had to admit it was funny, he’d never been a jealous man but the mere sight of Hillary laughing with someone else made his blood boil. He knew he was overreacting and he should stop but he couldn’t, he had fallen so deeply for her in such a short period of time and he was scared of losing her and the fact that they were married to other people didn’t exactly put him at ease. He wanted the Prime Minister to know she was his, he wanted to show him. Yet he couldn’t, and it was deeply frustrating. 

After the dinner, the Italian Prime Minister and the First Lady didn’t want to part ways just yet, as they were having such a great time. _A great time flirting with Hillary,_ he couldn’t help but think. The Italian First Couple insisted on watching a movie and Bill knew he couldn’t refuse, so the four of them made their way to the White House movie theater. Their movie of choice was _Cinema Paradiso,_ an Italian drama that won an Oscar a few years before _._ Bill had already seen it and he had to admit there were moments when he got teary-eyed. Therefore, he wasn’t surprised to see the waterworks forming in Hillary’s eyes merely twenty minutes after the movie started. He could see she was struggling; she didn’t want to cry. He had an idea. He’d replace her sadness with something much more delicious. 

Hillary was enjoying the movie, so much it moved her to tears, but she tried to hold them back, not willing to make a scene. Besides, there was also her pride. Everyone, including Bill, regarded her as a strong woman, what would they think of her if they knew she sometimes got softer than marshmallows? She blinked several times and bit the inside of her cheeks, but it was to no avail. She had just shed her first tear when she felt Bill place a warm hand on her knee. Because of the slit of her dress, it was in direct contact with her bare skin. She stared at his pianist fingers, so long and slender, and the room suddenly was incredibly hot. He started moving it up her leg and Hillary felt that tingling at her core. Fortunately for them, Bill was left handed and the Italian First Couple were sitting on Bill’s right, with a coffee table between them. He moved it back down and sensually stroked her knee. 

“Are you liking the movie?” he whispered into her ear, and she shivered at the feeling of his hot breath on her face. She turned around. He looked so beautiful in the dim light. His eyes looked so clear, almost as crystal, his lips so full.  She wanted to kiss him. She’d been wanting to kiss him all night, to wrap her legs around his waist and melt into him until they both reached heaven. _In a couple of hours,_ she told herself. Until then she’d have to resist, no matter how tempting he was. 

“Yes” she tried to sound unemotional, but it came out breathy. She sighed, there was no use pretending around him.  

“How much?” Bill smiled with that beautiful irresistible smile and she knew it wouldn’t take much for her to lose her resolve. He moved his hand up higher until his long digits were touching her already soaked silky panties. 

“Very much” she whimpered and slightly bucked her hips, desperate for friction. She couldn’t fight it anymore. They hadn’t been together in months and she needed him like she needed air “Please, Bill.” 

“You’ll have to be quiet, can you do that?” he asked as he moved her panties to the side and his fingers were in contact with her flesh. Hillary quickly nodded, biting her lip in order to stifle a moan. “Good girl.” 

He ran his hand up and down her wet ~~ted~~ slit, slightly brushing her clit. Hillary couldn’t help but buck her hips and he put two fingers into her tight dripping heat. He fucked her in a decadent rhythm, her walls gripping his fingers like a vice as his thumb played with her sweet little clit. Bill looked at her now tear-stained face. Her eyes were closed, and she was the perfect image of pure unbridled lust. God, he loved her so much. Loved that he could reduce her to this, that he could make her forget about everyone and everything and just focus on him and the pleasure he was bringing her. He felt her tense, the grip on his fingers became stronger as she came, gritting her teeth and biting her lips forcefully, trying her best not to scream as she came undone. Nevertheless, she let out a few soft, barely imperceptible moans as her orgasm subsided. Bill licked his fingers and Hillary looked down to his tented pants as a wicked smile played on her lips. 

Suddenly mindful of the other people in the room, she glanced at them. Luckily, the Italian First Lady seemed to be completely engrossed in the movie as her husband slept soundly, and Hillary was relieved. Nevertheless, she’d have to wait to return the favor, jerking him off would be a lot messier. “Thank you” she simply muttered and smiled at Bill.

He didn’t answer. Instead, he wiped the remnants of her tears with the pad of his thumb and dropped a kiss in the corner of her eye. That kiss, that look he was giving her, felt more intimate than the most heated make out session. For the first time in a very long time, she felt deeply cared for. 

When the movie was over, they said goodbye to the Italian First Couple before they made their way to the Vice President’s residence. Bill had insisted on personally taking her home. Hillary couldn’t deny she was disappointed, she thought she would be spending the night with him in the White House, but she knew he was the President, so he probably had a good reason to call it a night. However, when they entered her home, she suddenly understood. 

Bill wasn’t planning to let her go so easily that night. He didn’t want the night when he would claim her body again to take place in the White House, where they’d have to be hiding from aides and other workers, and where Hillary would undoubtedly have to leave early in the morning in order not to get caught. No, Bill didn’t want to be worried about others, she was the only person who mattered to him that night. Therefore, he’d chosen the Vice President Residence, where they’d undoubtedly have more privacy to put his plan into motion. While they were dining, he’d sent her most loyal aides to set a romantic atmosphere to surprise Hillary. And just by looking at her face now, he knew it had worked. 

“This is so beautiful” was the only thing she could say. She was astonished. Everything looked straight out a romantic novel, from the petals scattered around the floor from the entrance to the vanilla scented candles that led the way. 

No one had ever done anything like that for her, no one had ever made her feel so special. No one had ever loved her like Bill did. And it was overwhelming. Once again, Hillary was scared. She was starting to realize ~~d~~ that what she felt for Bill was nothing like what she felt for her husband when they first married. It was even stronger than what she felt for Ian. This was new. She had finally found someone who spoke the same language she did, someone who really cared about her and her feelings. He had the power to erase all the bad moments in her past, yet she knew Bill would also help her finally leave them behind. He would help her heal. 

Hillary knew right then she’d do everything for him. In so little time he’d penetrated into her hardened heart and she knew he’d never leave. No matter what he did, she knew she’d never stop loving him. She would defend him with her life, she would be there to comfort him in the panful times, and she would celebrate his victories with him. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. The intensity of her feelings surprised her, yet love was never planned. She was scared about the future, about their spouses, about the country; but there was something she was certain of: she wanted to make him feel just like he was making her, special, perfect. She’d do everything to make him happy. 

“This is the least you deserve” his voice interrupted her train of thought and she turned around to face him. She was once again struck by how beautiful he was, outside and inside. She didn’t know what she’d done to deserve him, but she was deeply grateful. “Come here, baby” he extended his hand and she took it. 

He led her along the hallway and into the living room. In a corner stood his beloved sax. He smiled nervously as he motioned for her to sit down and approached the instrument. He’d played in public many times, even on national TV, but playing for her was different. He wanted to do his best for her. He wanted to be the best for her. Fortunately, when he started playing all his worries disappeared. He played confidently, finding inspiration in her bright blue eyes that looked at him in awe. _My Funny Valentine, My One and Only Love,_ and he even delved into improvisation for his last song. Bill Clinton had finally found his muse. 

“Wow. That was beautiful. Thank you so much, Bill” she told him when she was finished as she wiped her eyes. Hillary couldn’t remember the last time music had moved her to tears. Over the years she’d hardened, first just for the public, then for almost everyone; but whenever she was with Bill, her soft emotional core took over. 

“You’re welcome, honey” Hillary smiled. She liked being called honey, perhaps more than babe or baby, which were his pet names of choice until that day. Honey was more than a pet name you’d use for a fuckbuddy. Your honey is someone you care for. Someone you love. 

Bill pointed to a box that laid on the table. Hillary approached it and carefully opened. It was a book, _The Flowers of Evil_. She’d heard about it, about the sublime sensuality and depth in Baudelaire’s poems. She couldn’t wait to read it. That was another thing she loved about Bill, he wasn’t an airhead and didn’t treat her like one either. They shared a deep hunger for knowledge and she couldn’t wait to grow more cultivated together.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Hilly. I’m sorry I couldn’t buy you a better gift. People would ask and…” he was silenced with her lips. 

“This is better than a hundred jewels, thank you” Hillary was in the clouds and she wanted to tell Bill just that. “Bill, I don’t know how to put what I’m feeling into words. But you make me feel special, you make me happy, Bill, and I’m in love with you” she sighed before continuing, her fears suddenly creeping in. “But you’re the President, and we’re married and…”

“Stop it, Hillary. Don’t go there. Don’t ruin this” he cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. “We can’t stop what’s happening. What has already happened, and I don’t regret this. I’m in love with you, too, and I will always be. You’re the most amazing and special person I’ve ever met, and I want you to know that. I want you to feel that” he dropped a kiss on her smiling lips. The kiss quickly grew in intensity. “Now, Hilly, if you felt special before wait for…” 

The sound of the phone interrupted them. They looked at each other and Hillary went to answer. It was Joseph. 

“Hillary, you don’t know what these fucking Jews did to me. They fucking cancelled the event last minute because the damn food wasn’t kosher! Why didn’t they do anything before? This community of half-dick Christ-killers don’t know with whom they’re dealing. I’m the freaking Vice President of the United States, I can ruin them” the anger in his voice was palpable as he continued to call them every name in the book. Hillary didn’t bat an eye, she was used to his racial slurs and his insensitivity when he was mad. Finally, he calmed down and spoke again “Anyway, I’m coming home, I’m calling you from the sky. Wear that sheer negligee I love so much, I’m in a foul mood” and he hung up.

His last words disgusted her, but she knew there were more pressing matters at hand. They needed to clean up the house before her husband arrived. Working together and with some help from their agents, they made it. She begrudgingly said goodbye to Bill. She knew he was disappointed, but he understood. Frankly, she was disappointed too, and mad. Hillary wanted to lash out at her husband for spoiling her evening with Bill, but nevertheless she felt something she hadn’t felt in years; hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a transition chapter but it got longer. Revelations (and sex) are coming soon!!  
> Thanks for reading and commenting. I have been pretty busy these past weeks but I promise I'll respond to all your comments tomorrow because they always bring a smile to my face.  
> Special thanks to EAS.  
> I hope you liked it! :)


	11. Chapter 11

“So, what do you think I should do?” Hillary asked her husband, who listened intently from a big upholstered armchair. 

 Three days ago, merely a week after the Valentine’s Day fiasco, Bill had asked her to lead their Health Care Reform. Now they were spending this weekend at Camp David, alongside Bill and Ann, hoping the change of scenery would help them work through some things, but she hadn’t been able to make a decision. It was all so complicated, so she finally decided to ask Joe. He was a crappy husband in the affection department, but he’d always been her best advisor, offering her a fair unbiased opinion. This time, however, he didn’t seem like he’d be helpful, given his blazing yet cold eyes when she finished talking. 

“Are you telling me that the President offered you the chance to lead one of the most important projects of his administration and you’re seriously considering it?” Hillary nodded quietly, a little self-conscious. She didn’t know what he was up to but she didn’t like it one bit. Suddenly, he exploded and in two long strides was in front of her, seething. “What the fucking hell, Hillary? How stupid can you be? I never thought my wife would be the embodiment of the dumb blond trope.” 

“Do not insult me, Joseph, and can you please tell me what the fuck you are talking about?” she was slightly taken aback by his sudden outburst, but she wasn’t going to let him know.

“How can you not see it? Are you blind? It’s so obvious! He just wants to keep you close to him so he can finally nail you!” Hillary looked at him wide-eyed. “What? You think I’m crazy? You really haven’t noticed the way he looks at you when you walk swinging those sweet shapely hips of yours?” 

“No, I have not” she told him truthfully, and she had to admit she was a little flattered to know Bill had been staring. “And frankly, I thought you saw me as something more than a pretty thing to fuck.” 

“Of course I do, Hill. It’s Bill who only sees you like that. I know him. I’ve heard the way he talks about women. He doesn’t respect you, he only wants you for one thing.” 

“That’s bullshit!” she screamed. She didn’t like the way he was talking about Bill. She knew it wasn’t the truth. She hoped it wasn’t. “You know what? I don’t give a fucking damn if you think he wants to confer me such an important responsibility for my brains and experience in Oklahoma or not. I’m going to accept his offer.” She wasn’t rushing, she had been leaning towards that decision, and her husband’s behavior was just the last push she needed. 

“Listen to me, Hillary, because I will only say this once; I forbid you to say yes. I won’t stay here when my wife is being treated like a tramp, when my wife is behaving like a tramp for a powerful man” Hillary wanted to slap him but decided against it, that would only cause his rage to intensify. 

“I don’t need your permission Joseph, and I asked you for advice. I’m a grown woman and your equal, and you don’t have a say in what I do or don’t do! I will do whatever I please and you can fuck off!” Hillary walked over to the door and left without saying anything else. 

As she walked out of the cabin and towards the woods, she could still hear him calling after her from the front door “come back, you little bitch! We’re not done here!” She didn’t care, she knew he wouldn’t chase her. She knew the whole facility was under strict surveillance by the Secret Service and he wouldn’t want to answer any questions about his over-the-top behavior. 

She was walking fast; her blood was boiling. She couldn’t believe that at this point, her husband of almost fifteen years didn’t take her seriously nor believed in her abilities. She knew he was projecting, that Bill would never do that, but Joe? She realized it had been a long time since he valued her for anything other than her body. As maddening as that was, it also hurt. When she married him, she was head over heels with that thoughtful and kind man who brought back the light to her life after her darkest period and gave her wings to fly again. But that boy had now become a controlling, insensitive asshole, and she couldn’t help but feel it was her fault. 

A sudden noise interrupted her train of thought and she turned around, only to find a cozy looking Bill Clinton walking less than thirty feet behind her. 

“Are you following me now?” she snapped at him. She knew it wasn’t fair to take it out on him, but when she was mad, she often spoke without thinking.

“I was just walking around, Hillary. You were the one who introduced me to forest bathing as a way to relax” he told her coldly. She smiled softly at the fact that he listened to her. He valued what she said. Bill noticed her tear-stung eyes and he couldn’t help but worry “Are you okay?”

 “Yes, I’m fine. Sorry for snapping at you. I just had a fight with Joseph” he smiled empathetically and bridged the distance between them. He looked around to make sure the coast was clear and took her hands in his. He kissed her cheek. 

“It’s okay, don’t worry, honey. Do you wanna talk about it?” Hillary shook her head and smiled softly. Without a word, they started walking side by side. They wanted to hold hands but knew it wouldn’t be wise with Ann, Joe and several employees around. 

“Bill, I want to do it. I want to lead the Health Care Reform Task Force. I mean, if the offer still stands…” she said after a while. He looked at her with a smile on his face, completely in awe of her. 

“Of course it does! You have no idea how happy this makes me, Hillary. I know you’ll do an amazing job. You’re the most intelligent, competent and hard-working person I’ve ever met, and I’m not saying this because I’m hopelessly in love with you” his words warmed her heart and erased all the doubts her husband might have planted earlier. 

He loved her, was attracted to her yet he valued her intellect as well. Those weren’t mutually exclusive. In fact, they should go hand in hand. Bill loved all of her and that was the way it was supposed to be. Hillary felt the urge to kiss him despite being in a semi-public place, but a group of children running towards them stopped her before she could. 

They were the children of one of the cooks, who was running after them, clearly embarrassed at the prospect of disturbing the President. He, however, evidencing his good nature and charm, welcomed them with open arms, answered their questions and even played a little with them. At first, Hillary simply watched him, marveling his natural talent to be around kids; before Bill motioned for her to join them. The two of them played with the five hyperactive kids for at least ten minutes, before their mortified mother finally convinced them to leave Bill and Hillary alone. Not that they minded being with them, they were having a great time. They both loved children. They resumed their walking, talking about their week. As they hadn’t seen each other much except for when he called her to the Oval Office to offer her that position, they had a lot of catching up to do. The conversation suddenly took a turn when Hillary dared to say what she had on her mind. 

“Bill, can I ask you something? You’re so good with children, how come you don’t have any?” she was worried he may take it the wrong way. After all, it was a very personal issue. However, she knew that if she wanted their relationship to strengthen, they needed to have the not-so-comfortable pending conversations, even if they hurt.

“I wanted to. I still want to, but Ann… she isn’t interested. She doesn’t like children. She has given up so much for me, I thought I could compromise and let her have this” he said, the hint of resignation in his voice was palpable. She reached to cup his cheek and although she moved her hand quickly, he appreciated the gesture. “And you? You’re natural with them too, Hilly.” 

“We tried, but it didn’t work out” was her short straight-to-the-point answer, the same one she gave to almost everyone who’d ever dared to ask. Hillary didn’t want to talk about it. Yet, her opening her heart to him and telling him about her past was another requirement if she wanted their relationship to move forward. She gathered all the courage she could muster and with her eyes filled with unexpected tears, she spoke again. “I… I was pregnant once. I lost the baby. I lost my baby and it was my fault.” 

Without saying a word, he grabbed her hand and led her to a more private place in the woods, surrounded by tall trees. He took her in his arms as she wept, after having acknowledged the secret that she’d been hiding for so many years. She had convinced herself that she had moved on, but whenever she thought about that fatidic day, she couldn’t help but cry. It still hurt so much, fifteen years later. That much, not even her parents knew. Just Betsey and Joseph. Now she wanted to tell Bill. She knew she could trust him. She knew he could try and take away the pain. He could be the one to heal her. She only hoped her revelations didn’t change his opinion of her. 

“I need to tell you something, Bill, something not many people know” Suddenly, it started drizzling and Bill took her to a nearby guest cabin. The agents that had been following them from afar, suddenly stepped out and opened it for them. Bill and Hillary entered swiftly, while the two bulky men remained on the porch.  

He lit the fire and motioned for her to sit down on the couch. He provided her with a fluffy blanket and wrapped her up with it. Hillary had to admit that, after years of walking alone, it felt good to have someone taking care of her. Bill sat in front of her, waiting for her to speak. He wouldn’t dare to pressure her, and she was grateful for that. For a few more seconds she studied him. He looked more handsome than ever (although that’s what she thought every time she saw him) his rosy skin glowing orange with the bright golden hues of the fire. However, what shone the most was his heart; his big, inclusive and caring heart. Now that she was about to pour hers into him, she knew it’d be okay. He wouldn’t judge her. He’d understand. He’d love her.  

“I had a boyfriend once, almost seventeen years ago” she began, and he grabbed her hand. He knew that what she was about to tell him wasn’t easy and he wanted to make her feel as comfortable as possible. Little did he know that his mere presence was her most effective source of comfort. 

“His name was Ian. He told me he was 30 and I was 23. He had ashy blond hair and gray eyes and played guitar in a rock band. He dreamed about becoming the next Mick Jagger. We met in DC when I was interning at a Law Firm there over the summer. My friends and I were at a bar one night where he was playing with his band and he played a song for me. “To the most beautiful girl in this town” he said. Can you imagine? Me, the most beautiful girl in town? Now this may come as a shock to you because you met me when I looked like this, with my hair all styled and flattering clothes and make up, but back then, I was an ugly duckling. He spoke to my insecurities and made me feel like Miss America.” 

“I bet you were indeed the most beautiful girl in town, Hillary. I’m not gonna lie to you, I’ve been with many beauty pageant queens in the past, yet none of their faces was as lovely as yours” he interrupted her and she smiled. 

“That’s what you are saying now. But you didn’t know hippy Hillary with those baggy frumpy clothes and coke-bottle glasses. Not many people noticed me, Bill, and you wouldn’t have either, especially if you were hanging out with beauty queens” she explained, a hint of pent up sadness in her voice. 

“I would have noticed those big bright dreamy eyes of yours even behind the thickest of frames in the darkest room. And I would have noticed your intellect, your kindness, your gorgeous soul. You are, were and will always be the brightest star, honey. If they didn’t see you, it’s because you shone too bright for them” a lonely seamless tear fell down her face and he wiped it with the pad of his thumb, but didn’t say anything. She’d never been an overly emotional person but Bill always said and did just the right thing to penetrate her soul and break down her barriers. She didn’t think it would be possible to love him more.

“Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, He came to me after ~~he~~ his concert was over, and he bought me a drink. We danced all night and he walked me home, and that was the beginning. He was my first love, Bill. There’d been boys before but no one before made me feel anything other than lust before him. He made me become the best version of myself, he even encouraged me to change my looks. I don’t believe they are the most important thing, but it made me feel good about myself. He made me feel confident, unstoppable. It was the best summer of my life. I feared that going back to New Haven would end our relationship but we managed to have a long distance relationship and I drove to DC as often as I could, until I graduated the following spring. Fortunately, I was hired by the Children’s Defense Fund in DC so I moved there straight away and we picked up where we left off. I felt that my life couldn’t get any better, I had the job and the boy of my dreams. Naturally, I wanted to take our relationship a step further. We didn’t even know each other’s families or friends! But he always convinced me it would only complicate and spoil things between us. I was so in love, I didn’t question him, and that was a mistake. We didn’t even spend the holidays together and I went to Park Ridge to be with my family. I had been feeling pretty sick and two days before Christmas, Betsy finally convinced me to go to the doctor. He told me I was five weeks pregnant. “ 

Hillary had to pause to compose herself. She was getting to the darkest part and she couldn’t back down now. “It wasn’t planned but I was so happy. I couldn’t wait to tell Ian and that very night I called him. But he wasn’t as excited. He told me he wasn’t ready to be a dad, that our baby would stop him from chasing his dreams. In short, he left me. Over the phone” 

“What an ass” Bill interjected. He wanted to punch that guy in the face for treating his girl like that.

“Wait there’s more. As you can probably imagine I was devastated. I was only able to rebound thanks to Betsy’s unconditional help. I didn’t even tell my parents, Bill. I was so embarrassed and sad, but I still loved him. I still wanted to marry him, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, raising our baby together like a true family. I convinced myself that he was just scared, and I would do everything I could to get him back. So, when I went back to DC, I invited him to my apartment, we didn’t even live together, and he agreed to come. That’s when he finally told me the truth. He wasn’t 30, but 42 instead, and he worked as a Goodwill store manager. Music was just a hobby that allowed him to prey on young girls like me, only that I was stupid enough to fall in love with him. He told me he’d fallen in love with me too, but at that point, I knew it was bullshit. Especially after what he told me next.” 

She paused again to look at Bill who listened intently, as he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. She didn’t see pity in his eyes, and she liked that. Nevertheless, his tear-filled eyes matched hers. 

“He had a family, Bill. A wife, and three children, and he wasn’t going to leave them for me, not that I wanted him to. I don’t remember much about the rest of the evening, I just know that we fought, I cried, we drank, we had sex, and he… left. Forever.” she paused again and took a deep breath. “He died in car crash on his way home. Apparently, he was speeding and alcohol was a factor. And to this day I still wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t let him get out the door in that state. He’d be alive now. Those children would still have their father.” 

She let out a guttural cry followed by a series of heart wrenching sobs, and he enveloped her with his strong arms as he dropped kisses on her crown. His own tears falling from his eyes. Seeing her like this broke his heart, but he had to be strong for her now. 

“It wasn’t your fault, honey, you didn’t know what was going to happen. He lied to you, he lied to my sweet beautiful girl. He treated you like shit. You don’t have to feel guilty.”

“But I can’t help it. I even wished I had never forgotten the damn pill.” Hillary sat straight again and wiped her tears. She needed to continue, the longer she dragged it out, the more painful it became. “I loved my baby, but I couldn’t stop thinking that if I hadn’t gotten pregnant, things would have remained as they were and he’d be alive… Anyway, as you can probably guess, I wasn’t in a good ~~a~~ place. I spent the following days crying. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, and even, in an act of desperation started taking some strong antidepressants to help take the pain away. One morning I woke up with the most intense cramps and when I opened my eyes, the whole bed was covered in blood. I went to the hospital and they confirmed my suspicions. I’d had a miscarriage. In less than ten days, I lost the man that I loved and our baby… And once again it was my fault” 

She collapsed into his arms again and Bill’s heart ached for her. She’d suffered so much. He wished he’d known her then; he would have protected her. “Hilly, don’t say that. It wasn’t your fault. You were young and dealing with such a traumatic event alone.” 

“I wasn’t that young, I was 25, and even if I were that is not an excuse. If I was old enough to get pregnant, I should have been mature enough to protect my baby. I was just stupid, weak and selfish and I paid the price” he wanted to tell her she shouldn’t talk like that, but she spoke first. “When I was in the hospital, things didn’t get any better for me. It was the most depressing time of my life, I seriously doubted I would ever be able to overcome it. I was miserable and I felt that everyone was pitying me. I was so lonely because I never told anyone, afraid to get those same pitying looks. Until I met someone who didn’t pity me.”

 She smiled a bit, and although Bill was happy that someone helped her in those tough times, he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. He knew what was coming next; she was going to talk about her husband. He was jealous, yet he was curious, as the nature of that relationship was still a mystery to him. He knew that Joe was a little douchey and inappropriate sometimes, despite being a nice guy, but he had no idea how he was as a husband. 

“I was reading a book in the garden when he approached me. He’d read it too and was excited to share what he thought. After all those “how are you feeling? Does it hurt?” questions, he was desperate for some intellectual conversation. Joe had just been elected to Congress and was there because he’d just had an appendectomy. He told me there was nothing more beautiful than a girl with a book. We clicked instantly. He was fun, confident, he didn’t judge me and unlike Ian, he wanted to commit. In less than five months, we were married. Perhaps it was too soon but at that time I needed someone to rely on, someone to help me heal. The first four or five years were incredible. I really thought I was leaving my past behind, but it came back to haunt me. We both wanted children, but no matter how hard we tried, it didn’t happen. We went to the doctor and she told me that, because of my miscarriage, I may not be able to ever have children. At first we weren’t discouraged, we kept trying and trying but it never happened. Along the way he became cold and aloof. I became just an object to satisfy his sexual desires. I felt like he didn’t like me as a person anymore. I think that to this day, he still blames me. And to be honest, I blame myself too.” 

“My God, Hillary. It’s not your fault. Any of this. You couldn’t have predicted it” he told her. “But honey, it’s not healthy for you to blame yourself for things you had no control over in the first place. That’s the past. Your future is bright. I know you’ll accomplish many things in all aspects of your life, starting with this Healthcare Reform and in the future, who knows, perhaps you could become President yourself. You are certainly brilliant” she rolled her eyes and he chuckled. “And I’ll be with you every step of the way, because I believe in you, I support you, and I love you with every fiber of my being” 

Tears welled up in her eyes, albeit for a different reason. She left as if a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders. He knew now, and he still wanted her, and not only that. He wanted to encourage her to leave all the pain behind. She wasn’t sure she could just yet, but their love was strong enough to move mountains. 

“Oh, baby. This is why I love you, too. Because you see me, not the façade I put on for show. And you care about me and motivate me to do my best. You’re smart and good, and no one makes me laugh like you do. Because you’ve brought back the magic to my life“ she told him. “Plus, you’re incredibly hot and handsome.” 

She leaned forward and kissed him. Softly. Savoring the feeling of having given her heart to someone with honest intentions, someone who would care for it like the precious fragile gem it was. This time it was for real. She could feel it. She pulled apart to look at his beautiful face. When he opened his eyes and met hers he could only whisper breathily “Hillary” and that was enough to set her ablaze. She returned to kissing him, but it was no longer slow. It was passionate, fiery, demanding and scorching hot. She wanted to feel something other than pain, she wanted to feel the love. Without breaking the kiss, he rolled over and they both fell onto the furry rug in front of the fireplace, with him above her. 

Bill pulled her body to his, feeling an overwhelming need to have her as close as possible. He wasted no time and took off her sweater. She was wearing no bra underneath and he almost lost it. Inflamed with desire, he massaged her ample breasts. She moaned loudly and arched her back, she loved to have her breasts played with. She grabbed his hair and pulled him down to her breast so he could circle her hard nipple with his warm tongue. Much to her surprise he bit, then soothed it with his wet gentle lips. Hillary was toying the fine line between pain and pleasure but she needed more. She craved the primal feeling of having him inside of her. 

“I need you, Bill” she breathed, and started working on his cozy fleece, as he took both of their pants off. Hillary started writhing underneath him, wildly grinding her crotch against his. 

“Patience, my girl, or this little game will end before it begins” God she loved when he talked to her like that. It felt so naughty. 

“Yes, daddy” she answered and he grew even harder. He didn’t think it’d be possible to be more turned on. 

He quickly removed his briefs and her panties. He ran his hand along her wetted slit, pausing to fickle her clit before threading his elongated fingers into her soft honey-colored curls. Ever so slowly, he kissed his way down her body and when he reached her swollen clit, she let out an earth-shaking groan. His fingers started pumping in and out of her heat as he circled her nub with his tongue. Bill pulled it between his teeth and Hillary couldn’t fight it any longer. She came hot and hard into his mouth. 

Without allowing her time to calm down, he climbed up her body and took his member into his hand. He kissed her, letting her taste herself in his mouth as he ran his raging manhood up and down her nether lips, coating the tip with her abundant wetness. She cried out when he finally entered, and he grunted as her walls enveloped him, pushing him deeper, barely allowing him to retreat. His pace was furious, slamming into her while mumbling praising and professing his love for her and she screamed incoherently to her heart’s content.

He relished having her like this, completely surrendered to him. He vowed he would always take care of this precious gem God had blessed him with. Hillary on her part, was drunk with lust, and love. She couldn’t think straight but she did now one thing, she’d never felt like this, so complete in all senses of the word. This was what she wanted. Bill was what she wanted. Now and forever. 

They reached their climaxes almost at the same time, like a crashing wave, drowning them in sheer unabashed pleasure. As her breathing ~~s~~ evened out, he pulled out of her and moved to her side, spooning her from behind as they both looked at the flames. As they basked in the afterglow, whispering words of love, they both knew there was no turning back. Their hearts would be intertwined for all eternity, and they wouldn’t want it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you liked the chapter! Please let me know what you think!
> 
> The road ahead is pretty bumpy and things are going downhill from here. Major drama coming soon!
> 
> Love you all! 
> 
> Thanks to EAS for helping with my grammar and with that clarifying sentence ;)


	12. Chapter 12

**Three months later…**

Hillary had screwed up. Royally. And she had no one to blame but herself. Her own stupidity and recklessness had brought her down, as was a usual custom for her. There was no justification, no scapegoating. There was no way to fix it, and she could only watch Bill, the man who in so little time had filled her life with happiness and love, was contemplating leaving it forever, bringing her back to the dissatisfaction that plagued her life before she met him. However, this time there was a silver lining, a ray of hope that would keep her afloat, optimistic, fighting. 

It all started last Sunday. At the State dinner for the Prime Minister of Antigua and Barbuda, Hillary feasted on copious amounts of seafood and spicy food, that resulted in her being sick the following day, and the day after and the one after that. To that day, she was still sick. When she was least expecting it, a wave of nausea would hit her and she would find herself vomiting into the toilet. She managed to hide it from her staff and even from Bill, as she was plainly uncomfortable with anyone seeing her as anything other than the paragon of strength and health. However, there was no way she could hide it from her husband, who, much to her chagrin, woke up next to her almost every morning.

He was worried, even more so than he was disgusted, and after three days seeing her running to the toilet first thing in the morning, he nagged her to go see a doctor, but it was to no avail. Hillary insisted it wasn’t serious and it would pass. This morning, Joseph Hayes woke up with a gut feeling and presented her with two familiar small objects that she had used a handful of times, almost always with disappointing results. Nevertheless, she took them and went into the bathroom. She was sure that the results were going to come out negative like they had many times before, but taking the tests was the only way she could make her husband shut up and let her deal with it her way.  

When those two pink stripes appeared after several minutes on both tests, her heart stopped for a second. She blinked once, twice, to make sure that her eyes were not betraying her. What she had always wanted, had finally come true. When she had lost faith, when things weren’t particularly easy, God had blessed her. She allowed herself to cry in private, to bask in the glory of this surprise alone, while her husband pounded incessantly on the door. Never a patient man, his worry at his wife’s lack of response translated into hostility. 

“For fuck’s sake, Hillary! Open the damn door! I can hear your sobs from here!” he thought her crying could only mean the tests came out negative, and he was starting to regret giving them to her. Putting her through that when the odds were against them was almost torturing her. Ashamed, there was nothing else he could do but lash out at her, direct his anger at himself towards her. “You knew what to expect! You don’t have to be such a cry baby every time. Your incompetent body is incapable of having children and we just have to live with it. It’s not the end of the world. I’m over it and I thought you…” 

He stopped when she suddenly opened the door. She handed him the tests without looking at him, and he almost choked when he saw the results. He looked at his wife of almost fifteen years and he felt incredibly proud. Happy like he hadn’t felt in a long time. He wasted no time in crashing his mouth against hers, wildly, passionately, and a little roughly, trying to express what he couldn’t with words. Hillary let him, at that moment she was so giddy she couldn’t think of anything but her baby. She knew she had to tell Bill. After all, it was probably his, as she had made love more often with him than she had with Joseph, but she didn’t want to think about the difficult future ahead just yet. It wouldn’t hurt to be blissfully and selfishly happy for a few hours or even days before she started thinking, planning, trying to find the best solution for everyone. 

However, those days weren’t afforded to her. Her blabbermouth of a husband told Bill during lunch, despite promising not to and he’d wasted no time in barging into her office, with a mix of hurt and anger in his eyes. Understandably, he felt betrayed. Since the beginning of their affair, she’d never stopped sleeping with her husband. The frequency had decreased, but that didn’t change a thing. Neither did the fact that she did it so he wouldn’t be suspicious, and that she was always thinking of Bill. She knew how stupid that sounded, how inadequate, and Bill didn’t buy it. When his marriage to Ann started to deteriorate and he began to seek comfort elsewhere, he would always come home to his wife, and apologize by telling her that it wasn’t serious, that he was thinking about her the whole time. It was never true; why would it be in Hillary’s case? _Because she loves you_ _just like you love her_ , a soft quiet voice inside his mind kept telling him, but he was too mad to listen. 

There was also the fact that she’d told him she’d never be able to have children. She cried, and he comforted her, growing more attached to her. Now he felt like he’d been fooled. Was it a coincidence that she had gotten pregnant this early in their relationship after years of unsuccessfully trying with her husband and having been told she may not be able to have kids? Was it a miracle, as she claimed? He couldn’t help but to think about his mother’s words when she learnt about their affair; “She’s not like the others and nothing will stop her until she gets to the top. She craves power and nothing is off-limits” he was well aware that a child could be used as a ladder, as a way to get a permanent hold on him, the President of the United States. Ever since he was Governor, many young girls had approached him with kids claiming he was the father. Of course, he knew better, he’d never forgotten about protection. However, he and Hillary never used it, after all she swore that they didn’t need to. Unable to help himself, Bill was beginning to wonder if he was a victim of the blue eyed girl that everyone said was the devil.

Silent tears were falling from her eyes as she looked at him, unable to say anything else while both of their hearts were breaking for one inexcusable mistake. Bill hated seeing her cry, hated being the one who made her cry, but his feelings mattered too. Right now he knew they needed a break, he needed some time to think, about her, about their future, about the responsibility of having a baby if it was his. He had to admit that, despite everything, part of him was excited about the idea of becoming a father, and with the woman he hopelessly loved, no less. In a few weeks, he would find out for sure when she had her amniocentesis test done, but just possibility of having fathered a child with her gave him joy. Over the next few days, it would be what kept him going. He was more focused and determined to do the best job possible. He wanted that kid, even if it ultimately wasn’t his, to live in a better world, and he had the power to make that happen. 

Hillary on her part also devoted herself to work, like she usually did in order to block those unwelcome feelings of remorse and self-pity. She thought that if she kept herself busy enough, she wouldn’t have time to hurt for him. However, every night sleep eluded her as she wondered time and again how would it be if things were different, if she hadn’t screwed up this time. Fortunately for her, her husband had been caring and protective like he hadn’t in years. He couldn’t quite understand where his wife’s sadness was coming from, but he did everything he could to make her smile. Seeing her pregnant with what he thought was his child, made him incredibly proud. Hillary knew she didn’t deserve his kindness, after all she’d cheated on him, fantasized about leaving him and the baby she was carrying may not even be his. However, she was well aware that he was the only one she had left. He wasn’t Bill but she’d take him over being alone, even if she had to lie to him. She needed someone to rely on. 

Two weeks later, Hillary was leaving a meeting with some members of Congress, trying to gain support for her healthcare reform. They were all so obstinate and hostile. She couldn’t reason with them; it was like crashing into a wall. Frustrated, she stormed into her office, fighting the urge to rip all her papers and memos they hadn’t even bothered to look over. Moments later, a young staffer knocked on the door, she told him to come back later, but he said it was important. Her mother was on the phone. Hillary knew something was up, she never called in the middle of the day. Her mother’s voice was calm, detached and her worry escalated. As direct as both women were, they didn’t spend much time on pleasantries and Dorothy went straight to the point: her fathered had suffered a stroke and he was in a coma. Upon hearing the news, everything went black. 

A few hours later, Hillary was sitting on the couch in the President’s office on Air Force One, with her arms crossed, looking out the window and into the seamless sea of white clouds. Her mind was blank, and she wasn’t crying. She was trying her best not to. She wasn’t comfortable with crying in front of others. She didn’t like to be pitied, and now that her relationship with Bill was moribund at best, that was the only thing she knew he could feel for her. 

Bill on the other hand, was concerned. He looked at her, trying to read her expression, trying to interpret the tone in her voice when she responded to his questions with monosyllabic words. He reckoned that this was Hillary Hayes with her walls up, the epitome of a fortress of solitude; despite being in the same room as him, she was alone with her pain. How he wished she’d let  him in, just like she did at Camp David, but given how things between them were now, he knew it was unlikely. Nevertheless, he would make sure she was okay. When he heard that she fainted, he immediately went to the White House clinic with his heart in his throat. The sight of her lying there, visibly annoyed as the nurse gave her instructions almost made him chuckle. But he knew better. She was stubborn, and she often overestimated her own resilience. He would make sure she was ok, even if she didn’t want him to. That’s why Bill ~~had~~ insisted in accompanying her to Chicago. Joseph who was at an event in Michigan was going to the hospital from there, and someone had to keep an eye on her. After all, she could be carrying his child, although part of he knew that wasn’t the only reason. He cared about her, wanted to take care of her.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked her after seeing her licking her lips, breaking the silence. She nodded, she was really thirsty. One of the reasons she’d fainted was dehydration and the nurse told her she should drink more water. He made an attempt to stand up, but she stopped him. 

“I can do it myself. I’m not an invalid” she told him, a bit too harshly and he simply shrugged, he wasn’t even going to answer. Hillary walked to the minibar, her back to him. 

Before her was a wide range of options, from the vital but boring water to the sparkling sugary soda she knew would give her a kick, and to the vast array of liquors that looked dangerously appetizing. Because of her condition, she knew they were forbidden, but she was desperately in need of something strong to make the situation a little more bearable. She figured that just one drink wouldn’t hurt. Hillary looked at Bill over her shoulder, and seeing him so seemingly engrossed in his crossword, she took out a bottle of bourbon and poured herself a tumbler. When she was putting the bottle back into the minibar, it hit another one and it clinked almost imperceptibly. However, Bill heard and within seconds, he was behind her, horrified at the glass of amber liquid she was holding. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked rhetorically and tried to snatch the tumbler from her hand, but she didn’t let him. “Hillary you’re pregnant! You can’t drink this.” 

“Jesus, Bill, don’t be such a party pooper! It’s just one drink!” she told him. She was about to take a sip, but Bill slapped it out of her hand. They both watched the amber liquid staining the gray carpet. He looked at her sternly and she snorted. Bill took a deep breath. 

“You have to take care of yourself, and I’m not just talking about this. You work too much, too hard. I bet you don’t sleep enough either, the bags under your eyes tell me that much” _but you’re still beautiful_ was what he wanted to add when he saw a flicker of insecurity in her eyes, but opted not to. He was still hurt. “And you clearly are not drinking enough either. Water, I mean. You have to be more careful.” 

“Why don’t you just cut the crap? It’s none of your business, I can take care of myself. You are not my father” they both fell silent. She’d finally acknowledged the pink elephant in the room, even if by accident, and suddenly her walls came crumbling down. He saw her eyes misting over with all the pent up sadness and fear. He wanted nothing more in the world than to hug her, kiss her, to take the pain away. But he didn’t want to get hurt again, he didn’t want to hurt her. There were still things he had to figure out, and he needed to be careful. Her pull was too strong.

“But I may be the father of your baby! And for as long as I’m alive, I won’t let anything happen to it, or to you!” his words, albeit forcefully delivered, managed to penetrate her soul. 

“I just need one to get through this” she said, her voice cracking and before she could stop herself, she was a crying mess. A renewed feeling of protectiveness and tenderness washed over him. He enveloped her in his arms as she sobbed against his chest. When her legs started to shake, he helped her to the couch and they both sat down, with her still in his arms. 

“You don’t know how hard this is” she continued when her sobs had subsided a little. Yet her head was still on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he whispered encouraging words into her ear. “God, I’m such a mess. All my life I’ve wanted to make him proud, and I couldn’t be more of a disappointment” he was quick ~~ly~~ to reassure her, but she ignored him. “I mean, look at me. An alcoholic in progress whose healthcare reform is tanking. An unfaithful pregnant wife that doesn’t know who the father is and who, to top it all, has fallen in love with her lover. I’m straight out of his worst nightmare.” 

She laughed, but he knew it was a façade. He could feel that her loud boisterous laughter he loved so much was devoid of mirth. Her self-depreciating humor was often a defense mechanism to hide the pain that consumed her.  She kept talking, making jokes about herself, her life; but her steadily flowing tears were a telltale. Finally, he had enough. 

“Hillary you don’t know how good you are. You’re smart, the smartest person I’ve ever known. You’re hardworking, proactive and effective. You’re such a good girl. You have a big heart, full of kindness and love. And heck, you’re incredibly beautiful inside an out.” he could see the gratefulness in her eyes and that filled him with joy. No matter what, he wanted to make her feel good about herself. She was too hard on herself. “You’re human, Hill. You make bad decisions sometimes, we all do, but I don’t think you do it out of malice” she shook her head no, and he smiled “Every dad would be proud of you and if he isn’t, then it’s his damn problem” she chuckled a little and he was so relieved to see that genuine sweet smile back “I’m not your father but I love you, and I’m incredibly proud of you.” 

Her response wasn’t verbal but a kiss he couldn’t help but reciprocate, tasting her tears on her lips. He pulled her to his lap so she was straddling him, and her tongue began probing his mouth. He felt himself hardening, and his hands started roaming her body until they found purchase on her soft breasts he swore were even bigger and more appetizing than before despite being only six weeks pregnant. Suddenly, he had a moment of clarity amidst all the haze his lust and love for her were causing. Things weren’t clear between them, there was still so much to talk about. He was still hurt. Was he sure that he wanted to do this again? 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry about everything” she said and he knew she meant it. Her blue eyes were the window to her soul and he could clearly see her deep regret, her insecurity and vulnerabilities. Her love for him. 

He kissed her again, hungrier and more desperate than before, his hands working tirelessly to unbutton her tweed jacket. He put his hand on her still flat stomach, feeling a sense of pride and love beyond measure. He smiled. Sometimes it was better to let the heart do the talking, and his heart screamed of joy when he was with her. Talking, kissing, making love or simply existing. Yes, she’d hurt him, but he knew she regretted it. She made him happy, and he loved her, it was that simple. They would move onward, together. Even if the kid wasn’t his, he knew he would love it either way, because it was a part of her. And he loved her with every fiber of his being. 

***

 She was growing tenser as they approached the hospital, the knot in her stomach intensifying, her heart and mind filled with dread. She was praying for a miracle; she didn’t want him to die. Not now when she hadn’t done nearly enough to make him proud. At this moment, every bit of resentment she may have had simply dissipated and she focused on the good memories– the summers at the lake when he taught her to fish, the first time he took her to a theme park and rode with her on the rollercoaster because she wasn’t tall enough to go alone, and how proud he was of her the day she graduated be it from middle school, high school, college or law school. She knew he loved her, and that his toughness was for her own good. After all, when you love someone, you want them to become the best version of themselves. She should have appreciated it more. She should have tried harder. 

Now she was approaching her father’s last judgement, and she wasn’t nearly ready. She felt herself bracing for his ire, just like when she was a frightened little girl who knew she’d done something she considered naughty. Only that this time, she didn’t regret it. Yes, it was morally wrong, in the Middle East they’d probably throw stones at her, but it felt right. She brought her hand to her still flat stomach and shuddered when Bill placed his own atop hers. Definitely right. Loving was right. Feeling loved was right. Creating love was right. Her father, God, the public… could judge her if they wanted to, but for the first time, she felt like she was doing something right. She was listening to her heart.

The limousine pulled up at the back door of the hospital, and before getting out, he pulled her for a tight loving hug. She was strong, the strongest person he’d ever met, apart from his mother, and she would get over it. He knew it. When they reached the waiting room, Hillary swiftly left his side and ran to launch herself into her mom’s arms, followed by her brothers’, close friends’, and even her husband’s, who affectionately kissed her crown, his eyes teary. He felt a pang in his chest at the scene before him. This was her world, her family, and he was just an outsider. Heck, he barely knew her father, and he didn’t like him much. He was doing this to support Hillary, but she seemed very supported, still in her husband’s arms, without even acknowledging him. He felt his jealousy getting the best of him. He needed to go before he did something stupid. He quickly greeted everyone and just as quickly he excused himself, saying he had some meetings in the area. 

He didn’t. He went back to his hotel room, and began nursing his heavy heart with a box of pizza and diet coke. He couldn’t help but feeling used. Yes, he had been the one who offered to come with her, but he expected more, he expected her to treat him differently in front of her family. _I guess it makes sense. I’m just her lover,_ and lovers, he thought, would always come second. Their love hidden, and sometimes even denied. He knew he had to get used to it, but that didn’t make it less frustrating nor painful. 

A sudden knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Soft yet determined. Hillary. He didn’t know how she got there, but it was clear that she wanted and needed him, and he could never deny her. He wasted no time in opening the door and soon enough, Hillary was enveloped in his arms, quietly sobbing, as he caressed her blond hair. Words weren’t needed. No matter what, he loved her. It was better loving her in hiding than not loving her at all. She was his girl, unconditionally and unapologetically his girl. Forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone still reading and commenting. Xx  
> & thanks to the best beta ever too.


	13. Chapter 13

Hugh Rodham died later that night, while his only daughter was in the arms of Bill Clinton. When Hillary found out, her world crumbled. Even in his last hours, she’d failed to be with him, failed to do what a good daughter was supposed to. She had failed him, and the guilt was eating her alive. Over the next few weeks, she found solace in her job. The frequency of her trips to hospitals and insurance companies grew, and she often visited more than one state in one day, trying everything to save her failing health care plan. Hillary was never one to be paralyzed by her mistakes, to ruminate and complain about the unfairness of life. There was a time for self-pity, usually late at night in cold lonely hotel rooms when she didn’t have enough energy to fight back the tears that had been threatening to spill multiple times during the day and abandoned herself to the sadness in her soul; but in the daylight, she made a vow not to fail those families like she failed her own, like she failed everyone around her. 

Her husband didn’t mind her absence as long as she engaged in phone sex with him a few times a week, and although she couldn’t help being repulsed, she was grateful for her time alone, liberated from her wifely duties that Joe imposed and that she had to fulfill in order not to appear suspicious. It would also allow her more time. That was the other reason for her long and frequent travels, the one she buried deep in the daylight, only to be shamelessly released when she was alone in the privacy of her room, in her weakest hours, when her walls were down. William Jefferson Clinton, the 42nd President of the United States. The man she loved, and who loved her in return, but whom she knew she couldn’t, shouldn’t love. There was so much at stake, and the ordeal presented her with the eternal dilemma in Hillary Rodham Hayes’ life; should she follow her heart or her mind? 

Her usual path was to follow her mind, aiming at self-preservation. The few times she’d followed her heart, it led to damaging consequences for her and for everyone else. Rationally, she knew that she had to choose what would causeeveryone the least harm, and that meant letting him go. However, it wouldn’t be so easy this time. She was pregnant and she was pretty sure it was his child. Moreover, Hillary had never felt like this before, she’d never felt so loved and she had never loved anyone like this, not even Ian, and her heart yearned to be selfish for once. So she spent most of her nights away waiting for an answer that never seemed to come. 

However, she couldn’t avoid him forever. He kept calling her, and she loved when he called, but she always had an excuse not to go see him. Why? She wasn’t even sure, but she did not want to deal with her feelings just yet. She had an ultrasound scheduled in two weeks and she hoped to have the answer by then. But as the days passed, she was beginning to realize that her health care reform was not going in the right direction and she would have to see him sooner. With a heavy heart, she knew she had to go to the White House and inform the President, her love, that she was going to fail him too. 

She was anxious ~~~~to see him. With sweaty hands, shivers running down her spine, and a tight unbearable knot in her stomach, she made her way to the Oval Office. When she walked through the door, Bill’s face lit up. He was in the midst of an international crisis, and tensions were running high but seeing her beautiful face was like a balm to his troubled soul. No other solace was more effective than looking into her bright blue eyes. He’d missed her so much. He’d given her space to deal with her father’s death but he didn’t want to waste more time, he needed her there and then. He approached her and pulled her in an all-consuming kiss.

For the minute she was in her arms, all of Hillary’s troubles went away. Her restless mind found a respite and her heart leaped in excitement. Perhaps this was the answer she’d been looking for. They pulled apart when she felt a pang in her stomach. She instinctively put her hands on the light swell of her abdomen, attracting Bill’s concern. 

“You ok, Hill?” he asked as he motioned for her to sit down on one of the upholstered couches.

“Yes” she told him as the pain subsided. “I’m just nervous. I have to tell you something.” 

He nodded and motioned for her to begin. He listened to her with a blank expression as she went on telling him her thoughts and the results of the internal polling they were conducting. 

“Damn it, Hillary!” he snapped as soon as she was finished. He was frustrated, that was the last thing he needed. Why couldn’t things go the way he wanted? “Why didn’t you tell me? When I called you, you told me everything was fine and now it turns out you’ve been suspecting this for weeks?”

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to bother you, you have a lot of things on your mind already, and I thought I could salvage it by myself” she explained, her eyes downcast, consumed by shame like that of a young child being chastised. 

“Well, clearly you couldn’t” he muttered. Her heart broke a little, once again she had disappointed someone she loved. “You should have told me. I could have gone to some events with you, I could have talked to some people in congress.”

“Because I’m so unlikable and incompetent I needed the ever charming Bill Clinton to save the day!” she screamed and stood up. She reckoned he wasn’t completely wrong and that she could have benefitted from his help, but it infuriated her that he seemed to be implying she couldn’t be effective without him. “I worked really hard, every day from 9 to 8, and if that wasn’t enough maybe you should have picked someone else!”

“Maybe I should have!” he retorted. He didn’t really mean it and he knew he was being unfair but at this point, he couldn’t stop the words coming out of his mouth. “Maybe I should have picked someone more likeable who could get along with members of Congress instead of somebody everybody distrusts. Including me!”

He stopped dead in his tracks when he registered the pain etched on her face. She grabbed her stomach as she experienced the most intense cramp she’d ever felt. She looked down when she felt a wetness in her crotch, only to see her white pantsuit stained with blood. Everything went black. 

She woke up two hours later in a place she assumed was the White House clinic, with a young nurse checking her vitals.

“Welcome back, Mrs. Hayes” she greeted her with a smile, but Hillary could tell something was wrong. She tried to remember how she had got there. She remembered her meeting with Bill in the Oval, their kiss, their fight, the pain, and… 

“Oh my God! The baby! Is the baby okay?” she screamed, her heart beating impossibly hard. She saw the nurse bite her lip, readying herself to tell her the bad news. 

However, Joseph Hayes entered the room before she could speak. He was carrying a cup of coffee, his face was the textbook definition of worried. He wasted no time in positioning himself next to his wife, and asked her how she was feeling as he stroked her hair in a soothing way. The nurse exited the room to give them some privacy.

“I’m fine, Joe, just a little dizzy. But how’s the baby?” she asked, she was growing impatient and she was desperate to shake the feeling that something was wrong. 

Bleedings happened, she had read about that, and that didn’t always mean she’d lost it. However, when she saw her husband’s eyes filling with tears, she knew. A torrent of tears of her own rolled down her cheeks, as her husband embraced her. 

“I’m so sorry, baby. But look at me, Hills” she reluctantly did. “I love you. I know I’m not always very good at showing it but I do. And I’m so in awe of you. You’re a fighter, and we will get through this” he pecked her lips and embraced her, and for a moment, he seemed like the young man he once was. The man who loved her and helped her in her darkest hours. Perhaps he was right; everything was going to be alright.

“Bill?” his name escaped her lips without realizing it. Despite their fight, he had to be dead worried, she could picture him pacing like crazy in the waiting room. Or maybe he already knew, and was now mourning her baby, their baby because she knew he loved it whether it was his or not. 

“Baby, you’re so good, always thinking about others. Don’t worry, he’s at the Oval, you fainting didn’t make him waste much time. He arranged for some aides to bring you here and he’s still focused on giving Saddam Hussein hell” her husband told her, and Hillary’s heart dropped. 

She reckoned that the future of the world was exponentially more important than she was, but it wasn’t an excuse for him to not even show a little concern. He said he loved her, she thought he loved her, but maybe it was all a fantasy playing in her mind. Maybe he was done with her, now that she had disappointed him once again. When he didn’t even call her in the next few days, she had her answer. It was over. The fairytale had ended as abruptly as it had begun. But she would always relish the memory of the days when she thought she could have it all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I'm so sorry for the delay in updating. I'll try not to take more than a month to update. Now that summer is here, it should be easier. Thank you to all who still read this despite the lack of frequent updates, and as always, feedback is more than welcome!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who still stick with me,it means a lot. I'm finally free so update should be more frequent now. Enjoy and please, let me know what you think! xx

Hillary looked at the seemingly endless pile of papers in front of her. She’d spent the whole day reading them and taking notes, and she wasn’t even halfway through. She rubbed her temples, trying to focus. She was tired, and out of practice. It’d been five years since she took on her last case, right before her husband and Bill Clinton won the election; and more than twenty since she worked on her first, and what she thought would be her last impeachment. 

But things were looking dire for the President, for the party, for the country. They needed as much help as they could, especially from someone with her experience and her loyalty. When she’d learn about what he’d done, she told herself he deserved it. She was glad he was finally being exposed and condemned for his womanizing. Hypocritical, since she had been one of the women, but nevertheless it felt good. 

However, everything changed when the Republicans started talking about impeachment, when his wife left him, when his eyes lost their spark, when his smile became rare and mirthless. In the almost five years since everything between them died so abruptly, she’d tried several times to convince herself that she was over it, that she didn’t love him anymore. The truth was that it still hurt seeing him hurt. She had unsurprisingly found herself wanting to hug him, kiss him, take the pain away. 

Of course, given their history together, doing that was out of the question, but Hillary was determined to help in any way she could, namely using her experience to try to find arguments, loopholes, anything. Without further ado, she dived back into the papers, even more motivated than before. She didn’t know how much time passed when there was a knock on the door. 

“Come in” she said, and the door opened slowly.  Her eyes didn’t even leave the paper, she figured it was her husband coming to claim her, and she wanted to finish that page.

Bill stood still as he entered the room and quietly closed the door. He stared at her. She was so focused, scribbling something as fast as she could in one of the margins. With her hair up in a messy bun and her thick glasses she looked like the young brilliant student he’d only seen in old photographs. Although he was privileged enough to have seen her with no make-up when they were together, he was accustomed to the prime and proper Hillary, with dark long eyelashes, ruby lips and designer skirt suits. She once told him everyone thought she was ugly back then. They had no clue. With or without messy hair, with or without glasses, with or without designer clothes, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. 

And she was a force of nature. With a heart of gold and a passion and an everlasting commitment to help others, even if they,  like him, didn’t deserve it. He was so grateful she still wanted to help him after the misery he put both of them through almost five years ago, and he needed her to know.

“Hillary” he called softly and she startled. She looked up to see the man who once made her feel alive, just to kill her again. Upon seeing him her heart started beating faster, and shivers ran down her spine. Oh the dichotomy she couldn’t escape. She loved him and hated him at the same, remembering the good times as if they were yesterday, but the pain was also still fresh. 

As she avoided his gaze and looked everywhere but at him in a futile attempt to calm herself down, she thought back  to that fatidic day. She wondered if he remembered. If he, too, mourned her child that may have been his. Of course not, otherwise he’d have visited or at least called her. He probably saw it as the end of a problem. And she hated him for that. 

“What do you want?” she asked harshly. Surely, it wasn’t the way to speak to the President, but to her he was still just Bill, an asshole.

“I wanted to thank you. Thank you for helping me with this. Uhhh… you know, you didn’t have to. After what happened between us I’d understand it if you slammed the proverbial door on in my face” this caught her off guard, he seemed so sincere, but she vowed to never be fooled again by this handsome master of lies. 

Bill walked towards her until he was standing in front of her, just her desk acting as a barrier as he fixed his gentle yet seductive eyes on her.  She was suddenly grateful she hadn’t had to face him alone in the past few years, neutralizing the daunting possibility of them killing each other, or fucking each other. She didn’t know which one was more appealing right now, and that frightened her. 

“I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing this for the country. You were certainly a terrible husband to your wife, but that’s not an impeachable offense. You’re actually a pretty decent president. The economy is booming and most people are better off than they were in 1992. They don’t deserve to suffer because of your foolishness. Now, if you don’t have anything else to say, there’s the door.”

They were both surprised at her attitude, her anger was still fresh. Bill on his part was angry and aroused at the same time. She could be a bitch when she wanted to, but she was so damn sexy. He stood still, looking at her with fire running through his veins and settling on his cock, which began swelling. Never a patient person, Hillary was annoyed at his lack of movement. Thus, she got up to show him the way out. 

“Ouch!” she exclaimed as she felt a sharp pang run through her back. Bill instinctively walked towards her, worry visible on his face, but she raised her hand to stop him. “I’m fine. I’ve been sitting in this damn chair for too long.”

Despite the pain, she straightened up. She rolled her eyes at his concerned expression, but Bill could say he knew her well enough to notice that she was just putting up a strong front for him, so he’d drop it and leave her alone. He wasn’t going to, not if he could help. “How about a massage?”

Hillary had to admit that, while it sounded like music to her ears, she wasn’t willingly going to take part in something so potentially erotic with the man who broke her heart, and whom she still wanted very much. “You’re not giving me a massage.”

“C’mon, Hillary, don’t be like this. It’ll help, and if it doesn’t you tell me and I’ll stop” she shook her head and sat back down, but the pain didn’t stop. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. After all, she wouldn’t be able to  do be productive if she was in pain, and there were still some papers she wanted to read before calling it a night. He sensed her struggle and extended a hand to her. Hillary frowned and carefully stood up, but didn’t take it. Bill smirked when he saw her lying down on the couch.

“I hope you know what you’re doing. Please, don’t hurt me” she told him, and they both felt her words carried more weight than she intended.

“Don’t worry. I just want to make you feel good” Hillary decided to ignore his quasi-innuendo, and the unwelcome sensations it was causing in her. She closed her eyes and tried to relax.

Bill stood next to her and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. She looked so tempting. When he realized she wasn’t wearing stockings, he almost lost it. Her skirt allowed him to feast on the lower half of her soft tights. If he crouched down he was sure he could see… No, he had to stop. There were boundaries now. He lost his right to touch her like that when they unspokenly ended whatever it was between them five years ago. He needed to focus. 

“Will you be quick? We don’t have all the time in the world. I still have to work on fixing your mess” she protested, and he got down to work.

He started rubbing her shoulders, gently at first, before applying more pressure to the places where he felt she had knots. At first, she was tense, but as he worked on her muscles, she relaxed. She even let out a small moan of appreciation, which went straight to his crotch. Still, that was not where it hurt. Her lower back was screaming for attention. He seemed to be conducting himself in a professional way, so why not?

“Lower” Bill was surprised at her words, but kept moving his hands down her back. “That’s it, right there.” It was just above her ass. 

He started to massage the area. Her moans were becoming more and more frequent as she relished that odd but exhilarating combination of pain and pleasure. Bill wondered if she was doing it on purpose. Even if she wasn’t, she had to know the effect she was having on him, he was so turned on!

“God, you’re so good. I’m not sure I want to know how you learnt the art of massages” she said, half-jokingly, assuming he’d learnt it from one of his mistresses. Bill noticed. 

“When I was a teenager, Roger hurt his back pretty badly while playing basketball at school. We couldn’t afford a professional masseuse and Mama worked long hours, so I started reading some books and with so much, practice, I learnt to do it” he explained. 

Hillary didn’t say anything else, but her heart was thumping in her chest. This was the Bill she’d fallen in love with. He’d do everything to help the people he loved. 

“You can straddle me if you want to” she told him, noticing his awkward posture as he leant forward. He was much taller than her, and she didn’t want him to hurt his back as well. Or that’s what she kept telling herself. If anyone got a close look at her wet panties, they’d get another idea. After making sure she really was ok with it, he accepted. 

He straddled her upper thighs careful not to sit on them and crush her with his weight. He tried his best to keep it professional but he was so aroused his hands were moving lower and lower until he was practically massaging her buttocks. Instead of being angry and telling him to back off, Hillary kept rewarding him with sensual moans and sighs. As he leaned forward to massage the expanse of her back, his rock hard cock rubbed against her ass. Part of him wished she didn’t notice, but he was aware it’d be hard not too, as his manhood was almost fitted in her crack, with her tweed skirt as the only barrier. In fact, he would swear she was almost humping the couch, spurring him on and getting some friction. 

“Do you want me to take off my shirt so you have better access to my back?” she surprised him after a while. Her voice sounded breathy, needy. There was no denying it, she was as turned on as he was. 

Before he could respond, she took the initiative and unbuttoned the champagne-colored silky garment. In a quick movement, she also unfastened her bra and slid it down her arms. Shocked at what she’d done, Hillary tried to justify it. “It’s so hot in here, anyway” but Bill didn’t buy it. 

“Hillary” he called her. His low and husky voice stoked the fire in her core. She needed him, and there was nothing she could do but abandon herself to him. She turned around, slowly but deliberately. 

Bill’s eyes went to her succulent breasts, her rosy nipples were standing at attention. He licked his lips and looked into her eyes. She was drunk with lust. Without wasting more time, he crushed his lips against hers. His tongue forcefully demanded entrance and she happily granted it. 

His hands found purchase on her hips as he slowly pulled down her skirt. She aided him by wiggling her ass, grinding her crotch against his in the process. He couldn’t fight it anymore, he needed to be inside of her. He swiftly unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants and boxers down. He tore up the sodden fabric of her panties, and then he was inside. 

He stilled for a seconds. The magnitude of what they were doing, what this meant, dawned on him. He still loved her, he was certain now. Hillary still loved him too, but there was a reason why their relationship ended. The rational part of their brains were telling them to stop this madness before they got hurt, but their physical desire was stronger. 

He started thrusting hard. Pulling back until his member was almost out before slamming back in. Their pace was frantic, and they were both acutely aware of the fact that they weren’t going to last long. His mouth abandoned hers and traveled to her neck, then continued his sensuous path towards her breasts. He sucked a pebbled nipple into his mouth, and that was all it took for her to come undone. Her walls gripped his cock like a vice and soon enough he joined her, releasing his seed inside of her. 

He pulled out and laid on her chest as she held him. Everything was rosy in their post-orgasmic bliss. 

“I missed you” he muttered, but those words may have as well come out of her mouth. And that scared her. 

She pushed him off her and stood up. She frantically started to get dressed as she fought not to cry. She hated herself for having fallen so easily. A few touches and she’d given herself to him like a whore. She was now painfully aware that he was her weakness. That no matter what he did, she could easily end up in his arms again, if he wanted to.

But in the dark and lonely aftermath of her miscarriage, she promised herself she was not going to fall again. No, this couldn’t happen again. Her heart had been battered enough. Hillary picked up her papers and went to the door.

“Hillary, wait. I’m sorry.” Bill called her, and she stopped dead in her tracks.  She turned around, her tears now freely flowing down her cheeks. For the first time, he saw all the pain he’d caused her. An image he’d been trying desperately to avoid, he now knew it would haunt him forever. 

“I’m not doing this again, Bill” she told him before swiftly exiting the room.

He was empty. The weight of his past actions was now too heavy on his shoulders. He couldn’t help but wonder how things would be now if he hadn’t given up on her five years ago. If he’d acted like a man and fought for his girl. 


	15. Chapter 15

Two pink lines on one device. And on another one, and on the third one too. The conclusion was clear, and yet, for someone who always prided herself on her reliance on facts and figures, Hillary could not believe it. She’d been ignoring the symptoms, telling herself that it was her mind playing tricks on her, but all three tests came back positive, and a quick visit to the White House clinic confirmed her suspicions.

Pregnant. Her mind couldn’t wrap itself around the fact that, at almost 45 years old, and when she’d abandoned all hopes, she was three and a half months pregnant.

She was scared, scared to meet the same fate once again, but nevertheless she was happy. Incredibly happy. She vowed to take better care of herself, to protect her baby at all costs and to love him or her unconditionally, no matter what. No matter who the father was.

Hillary wasn’t an idiot, she could connect the dots. She’d been trying for years with her husband and she’d only became pregnant twice: when she cheated with Bill Clinton. However, despite everything, there still was a very slim chance that this was all a coincidence and the baby was her husband’s and she desperately wanted to clutch at the last straw.

There was only one way to find out: a paternity test. But first, she had to tell her husband. She hoped he would understand and forgive her. Unlike five years ago, this time it was a punctual mistake that she had no intention of repeating. And if he didn’t forgive her… Well it wouldn’t be so bad would it?

She immediately chastised herself for having those thoughts. Her husband always stuck with her through thick and thin, even when others she thought loved her dropped her like hot coal. And the abandonment that hurt the most was Bill’s. Tired of ruminating in bed, she stood up and went to see her husband. Time to come clean.

Hillary found him in his office in the West Wing, talking on the phone, so she decided to wait for him. As she stood up, she could see her husband’s eyes looking at her from head to toe and it made her feel queasy, unsure of herself. He’d lauded her growing breasts but expressed his disappointment at the slight curve of her stomach.

“Stop eating that crap, Hillary, you’re not getting any younger” he’d told her one night at dinner two weeks ago as she enjoyed some chili fried chicken wings she’d been craving and she, desperate for approval and scared of being abandoned, had spent a week eating just one salad a day.

She hated herself sometimes, and the power he had over her. He could make her feel like the shittiest crap and nevertheless she’d try to please him. She saw him licking his lips and she let out a breath, relieved that he liked the way she looked today. Yeah, she hated herself.

“Thank God you’re here” he told her when he hang up the phone. “The nerve Bill Clinton has. He’s so stupid he’s getting impeached and while he deals with that, all of us have to work a double shift. Hopefully he’ll get kicked out of office soon, he’s an embarrassment. So pathetic. I don’t know why you’re helping him get out of his mess. He doesn’t deserve it but I know that whatever you do you will never be able to save him, you’re not that good” as much as she wanted to defend herself and Bill, Hillary knew that it’d be better to let him rant until he got tired, no matter how annoying he was. “I will be a great president one day. The best; scandal free and with the hottest First Lady that I don’t cheat on despite her age. You’re still so good, hot pants. Why don’t you come here and suck my dick, hmm? You’re turning me on with that tight blazer of yours.”

“Actually, I came here to tell you something. It’s important, Joe” she told him, finally able to speak since she entered his office.

“More important than helping your husband relax? I’m so stressed out and I need you but you’re only thinking about yourself! You’re working overtime to save that rat’s ass and you won’t even help your husband get off?” Joe went to her and forcefully grabbed her by the shoulders. He pushed her down, so she was on her knees in front of him. She shook her head but he unzipped his fly anyway. “Stop playing, Hillary, and just fucking suck it, dammit. It’s so hard for you”

“No! No, I don’t want to suck your dick and I wish you fucking listened to me for once in your life! I’m more than a sexual object!” she left the room, trying and failing to hold back tears. She practically ran to the safety of her office, not giving a thought about what people may have been thinking as they saw the Second Lady of the United States crying her eyes out.

One of those people was Bill. He saw her through the window of the Oval, and immediately stood up and went to the door, as his protective instincts kicked in. However, he quickly saw her husband following her and his heart dropped. With a sigh he sat back again, resigned. He’d lost his right to comfort her.

Hillary closed the door of her office and leaned against it. She wiped her eyes, cursing those pesky pregnancy hormones that were making her overly emotional. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe it wasn’t as it was supposed to be. That he may not really care about her, and that hurt. As if on cue, he barged into her office and wasted no time in pulling her to him.

“I’m sorry, Hillz. I’m sorry you’re so hot I sometimes can’t control myself but I love you and I don’t do it on purpose” he told her and she desperately wanted to believe him. He was the only certain thing in her life, her ride or die, he’d shown her many times.

She wanted to believe that they were and could still be happy, and that Bill Clinton wasn’t casting the shadow of doubt on her marriage. Truth be told, she wasn’t madly in love with her husband, that was painfully clear to her, but he loved her and wouldn’t hurt her on purpose. Unlike Bill.

They embraced for a while, but when Hillary felt his hand traveling south down her back and caressing her ass, she pulled away. That was a classic Joe move and she usually didn’t mind, as sex could be very comforting, but this time she found the idea completely unappealing.

“Joe… please don’t start again. I told you I have to talk to you” she told him and he finally relented. He didn’t want her to be angry, he wanted to nail her tonight and for that he needed to be a good husband and behave. When she miscarried five years ago, he found out that the way to make her bend to his wishes was being sweet.

“I’m sorry, hot pants. You’re just unbelievably sexy. But please, tell me what’s bugging you?” he caressed her cheek, and she took a deep breath.

“I’m pregnant” she blurted out and suddenly she felt a sharp blow on her cheek. She looked at her husband, her eyes wide in shock as she rubbed her burning skin. A slap was not the reaction she was expecting. “What the fuck?”

“Who did you fuck? You slut!” he raised his hand and Hillary took a step back so she was out of his reach. She opened her mouth wide and simply stared at him, too in shock to speak.

“Don’t look at me like that. You think I’m stupid, Hillary? You think I’d never find out and let you try to fool me and pass your little bastard for mine just like you tried five years ago? That’s right, Hillary, I know I wasn’t the father, but we were going through a rough time and I wanted a child even if it wasn’t mine, so I decided to let it slide, but I couldn’t have possibly been the father. When we met I wasn’t recovering from an appendectomy but from testicular cancer. I had to get chemo and they told me I’d likely become sterile. So who the fuck knocked you up!?” he could see the tears welling up in her eyes. “Don’t you dare cry. The waterworks don’t work this time. Just answer my fucking question!”

“You… you never told me… you have fertility issues. You told me you were fine. You let me believe it was all my fault…” she said softly, still trying to come to grips with the fact that her husband had been lying to her for years.

“What difference would it have made? The outcome was the same; we couldn’t have children.”

“It would have made a great difference. You blamed me! You blamed me and our childless marriage for our misery, for your outbursts, your abuse. And the worst part is that I blamed myself too. You know how many times I cried, you know how I hated myself for not being able to give you a child. How worthless I felt. And you did not care.”

“Don’t be a hypocrite Hillary. Abuse? I never abused you, I treated you better than I should have considering you were a tramp all along. You were to blame for our unhappiness as much as I was, and it had nothing to do with us having fertility problems but with you not being a good wife that was completely devoted to me” Hillary wanted to defend herself, but he didn’t let her. He walked up to her, his eyes ablaze but she refused to let him intimidate her. “I will only ask you one more time so don’t try to change the subject again, who the fuck got you pregnant?

“Do you really wanna know who? Alright since you asked so nicely: Bill Clinton. Both this time and five years ago” Hillary thoroughly enjoyed the look of shock on his face. “And let me tell you, he’s a much better man than you in all senses. He fucked me so good that every single time I was with you I was thinking about him. Wishing you were him. He made me realize ~~d~~ how inadequate you are.”

“Well of course, he’s been with a thousand women, he must have learned some tricks. I, on the other hand, was stupid enough to be faithful to you, and I shouldn’t have because you’re nothing special. You’re just a bitch with a still fairly nice body but you’re aging, your beauty won’t last forever and when that happens you’ll regret having fucked everything up with me, the only man who could love you, just because you wanted to be a powerful man’s whore.” He saw her eyes brimming with unshed tears and he knew he’d struck a nerve.

“What is it, sweetheart? Do you think you mean anything to him? Has my sweet naïve Hillary fallen in love with Bill Clinton? Are you so deluded that you think he loves you too and that he wants to be with you for all of eternity? That now that the whole world knows he’s a cheating asshole and Ann left him he’ll marry you? That you, him, and your little bastard will ever be a happy family?” he let out a sadistic laugh that sent chills down her spine. ”Let me break it to you: you aren’t that great. In fact you’re nothing but a sad bitch that is still looking everywhere for the love her father didn’t give her, the more powerful the man, the better. You disgust me.”

 “That’s not what I’m expecting” she managed to say. She was openly crying now. After all these years he knew all he weaknesses, and he knew how to exploit them. But she knew that part of what he was saying was true, even if she kept denying it.

“Good, because I’m not letting you, you’re not humiliating me. And I’m not letting you have his child. Any other man’s child? Maybe, it’d be good optics when I run for President in 2000, but Bill Clinton’s child? No fucking way! That asshole. I work twice as hard as he does, I don’t mess up in my personal life. I’m smarter, more handsome, better in all areas, but everyone still prefers him! Even you! My own wife, the light of my life!” Hillary was stunned for the millionth time that evening. She’d never suspected he felt that way about Bill. She knew he disliked him, especially after his transgressions became public but she never thought he’d be jealous. Despite everything, she could only feel bad for him. She knew that feeling of struggling to be liked and failing every time. “But I won’t let him win this. You are having an abortion, and that’s final.”

“No!” Hillary was outraged, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing “No! I’m not having an abortion and that’s final! I can’t believe you’re even suggesting that I do. This is my body, my baby. My miracle and it’s not its fault!” she caressed her stomach and she was overwhelmed by emotion. She hadn’t met it yet but she loved it already and she’d never give up on it. “I want this baby. This is not a burden but a blessing but you’d never understand. You don’t understand me nor care about my feelings and I’m just sick of it; I want a divorce!”

“I don’t care what you want, you selfish bitch! I’m never going to divorce you and you are never going to have his baby! Over my dead body!” he grabbed her by the shoulders and for the first time, she was afraid. But she wouldn’t let him see it.

“Let go off me, you bastard!” but he persisted, digging his fingers into her flesh and making her flinch. She could see the madness in his eyes and she wondered how far he could take it.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and they stilled. They heard the unmistakable grave voice of one of her Secret Service agents asking them if everything was alright, and Hillary had never been more grateful for his service. Joseph finally relented and stormed out of the room, but not without reminding her that their ‘conversation’ wasn’t over. She took a deep breath and her young agent came in.

“Are you sure you’re ok, Ma’am?” he asked her as he took in her disheveled appearance. She had red puffy eyes and was clearly upset, and that worried her agent. Hillary brushed it off as a couple’s fight but he wasn’t buying it. He decided to keep an eye on her.

She thanked the agent and he left, leaving Hillary alone with her thoughts. Unable to shake the feeling that the worst was yet to come.

                                                                                          ***                                       

It was late at night when the door to the main bedroom in the Vice President’s residence opened. Hillary slept soundly in the marital bed, completely unware that she was being watched. Joseph Hayes had his eyes fixed the rise and fall of her chest, as a wave of possessiveness washed over him. She was his and only his. He had to keep her, and he’d do whatever it took. He wouldn’t let him have her. Time to put his plan in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't easy to write but nevertheless I hope you liked it. Thank you so much for bearing with me as we near the end of this story.  
> And thanks to my wonderful friend EAS for her help and her encouragement!


	16. Chapter 16

Joseph Hayes walked towards his side of the bed, carefully but determined. He laid next to his wife and spooned her from behind. He was relieved when she moved closer to him. She looked so vulnerable, he knew he could probably take her right now against her will and while that had always been a fantasy of his, he knew it’d be counterproductive. He wanted her for the long run, and to use his best weapon; his intellect. Still, a bit of petting wouldn’t hurt and he moved his hand up her body towards her breasts. When he pinched her nipple, Hillary jolted awake. Hillary’s blood froze when she looked at her husband’s cold calculating eyes. She was genuinely scared, and he started laughing at her. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Joseph stated amidst laughter. “Jesus, Hillary, I’m not going to rape you or anything. But your reaction was hilarious! So much for the ‘strong’ woman you think you are. You’re nothing but a weak damsel in distress who needs a man to protect her, and I’m that man, baby.”

He moved closer to kiss her, and Hillary was repulsed by the smell of alcohol on his breath. She pushed him off.

“Get off me! Have you been drinking? You disgust me. Get out of here! ”she told him angrily and his blood boiled. 

“Don’t deny me! This is my room too! Don’t ever forget I’m the fucking Vice President of the United States and your husband!”

“And I’m not your sex toy. If you don’t go, I’ll go” she stood up but he grabbed her wrist. 

“Come on, Hillary, I didn’t come here to fight. I don’t like fighting with you, I’m sick of this situation between us. I came to make things right because I love you and I don’t want to give up on us.” he pleaded but she was not having it.

“You should’ve thought about that when you were lying to me these past fifteen years. You don’t love me. If you did you wouldn’t treat me like shit” she told him coldly, not willing to let him manipulate her. 

“Like shit? Baby, we all make mistakes but I was with you when you needed me wasn’t I? Who was with you when you miscarried, hmm?” she looked down and he knew he’d struck a nerve. He gave her a soft smile and held her hand, he was relieved when she didn’t flinch. “For better and for worse, for richer and for poorer. In sickness and in health. We made a vow, Hillary, in front of our friends and families. Remember how happy we all were. I remember your father’s face when he walked you down the aisle, how proud he was. I found your father to be an excellent judge of character and you know he loved me like he loved Hugh and Tony. He would be devastated if he knew you’re thinking about divorcing me.” 

“He’d be devastated if he knew you’ve been lying to me since we married. If he knew you’ve asked me to abort my baby” she mumbled. Unlike with her last pregnancy when her father was ill, this time she hadn’t thought about how he’d take the news. That thought both ashamed and frustrated her. He was dead and she still was seeking his approval. She could picture him looking at her with those judgmental eyes and deciding the only option was to spank some sense into her, until her eyes didn’t have more tears left and she swore not to do it again. Just like when she was growing up. She felt pathetic, after more than thirty years she still wasn’t over it.

Joseph could feel her starting to soften and he smiled to himself. He knew how to manipulate her. Bringing up her father never failed to turn her into an insecure eight-year-old girl with an undying and sickening thirst for his approval. It was working out so well, he could barely contain his glee. Now time for the final act.

“You really love this baby, don’t you?” she nodded. He pretended to think and he hoped she was holding her breath. He sighed. “I love you, Hillary and I’m ok with you keeping it if that’s what makes you happy.”

“I don’t need your permission” she said through gritted teeth.

“I know that, babe. I really do. I know you are independent and you don’t need me, but I want to be there. I think we could be really happy. Even though it’s not mine, I can see myself teaching that little boy or girl to hunt, taking him or her to the church where my mother teaches Sunday school, to Walt Disney World. It’s not mine but it’s yours, and that’s enough for me to love it as well. Sorry for my reaction this morning, I can be a jerk sometimes.”

For the first time, she smiled softly. She couldn’t help it, she loved the picture he painted. It reminded her of the first months of their marriage, when they’d lounge around fantasizing about their future family. Of course, she now knew he was getting her hopes up for nothing and while it stung, it was still comforting to imagine that maybe they could. That maybe that dream that used to make her so happy, could still come true after everything that happened.

But then there was still Bill. She shuddered when thinking about him, she didn’t know how he was going to take it. If he was going to pretend to be excited just to try and play with her some more, or if he would show his true colours from the start and make it clear that it was a mistake and that this baby was nothing but a problem. But even if Hillary didn’t want to admit it, she wanted him to be happy, to love their baby and her so they could be a happy family.  But she knew better, those were just dreams, and dreaming was futile.

“You’re thinking about him” Joe said matter-of-factly when he felt her tense. “Honestly he doesn’t deserve it. He just doesn’t. He’s nothing but an asshole who uses women. Or am I wrong? I think he made that very clear when he got you pregnant and suddenly dropped you like hot coal when you miscarried and barely a month later, he started seeing someone else, all while being married. He doesn’t respect women. He takes advantage of your weaknesses to romance you and make you fall hard for him, but he will never love you or any other, he only loves herself” Joe was proud of himself, he knew his strategy was working when he surveyed his wife’s grave expression. Poor little fool. “I think someone should teach him a lesson.”

“To be honest, I think the Republicans are giving him more than enough shit. He’s really going through a rough time.”

“Do you care about him? Tell me, Hillary, because I’m trying like mad to save our marriage but maybe you don’t want to save it and you want to be with him? You know, you never told me how this happened. Maybe I’m the other man getting in the way of this great love story. I always knew you were too good for me anyway” he shed a lonely tear that he hoped would melt Hillary’s heart, and it did. Hillary was puzzled. After so many years together, she couldn’t understand how he’d go from an asshole and an objectifying piece of shit to a sweet and vulnerable man. She always thought this was the man she married, and she relished and loved every time he showed her she wasn’t wrong.

 “No, of course not” she quickly reassured him. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it, and he smiled. “If it weren’t for the baby, I’d say he’s my biggest mistake” she voiced what she’d been telling herself, hoping that this time, she’d finally believe it. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

That last part was true. While she’d been foolish enough to let herself fall head over heels for Bill Clinton, she never wanted to hurt him. She just wanted to stop hurting herself. Ironically after that endeavor, she ended up more battered than before. But how happy she was while it lasted!

Hillary sighed, her thoughts back to the man in front of her and with a heavy heart, she realized that if Bill came knocking on her door, she’d do it again, only to have her heart broken over and over again. Joe, with all his faults, had always been with her and was willing to keep being by her side after what she did, so there was only one right thing to do: give him another chance. Try to recapture what they once had, for the thousandth time. Yes, he’d been an insufferable asshole a few hours before but it was hard not to be if your wife cheats on you and gets pregnant by another man. He wanted to try. He was kind enough to forgive her and the road ahead was tumultuous at best, but she had to try too. She owed him that much.

With that in mind, Hillary moved closer and kissed him. It was a light kiss at first, before her husband, who’d always take the mile when given an inch, deepened it. His insistent tongue forced its way into her mouth as he made her lay down with him on top of her and his hands roamed carelessly around her body. And it felt wrong. It had never felt more wrong. His rough touches with Bill’s baby inside her made her want to vomit. Slowly she managed to push him away.

“I’m sorry. I’m not in the right frame of mind right now and I would like to take this slowly” she told him.

“It’s ok. Don’t worry, babe” he caressed her cheek and she was relieved he didn’t insist or get mad. Maybe there was hope for them. “You know, Hillary, I’ve been thinking and your baby is indeed a blessing” he smiled coyly and she gave him a quizzical look. “We can kill two birds with one stone: we can be one happy family and we can get revenge on Bill Clinton.”

“I told you I don’t want revenge. He’s as guilty as I am. He never forced me…” Joe clenched his fist but tried to keep calm. He was sure she’d agree, it was a master plan.

“Just hear me out, ok? I had the best idea” she nodded. “We’ll say he raped you and got you pregnant. That way he’ll surely be impeached and hopefully end up in jail. I’ll be President and you’ll be my First Lady” Hillary was puzzled. She couldn’t tell whether he was joking or not. Although he wasn’t known for his sense of humor, she knew it could be very dark. Finally, she opted for laughing weakly, not willing to shame him for his bad joke. “Hillary I’m not joking. We could rule the world, babe. You and me” Hillary laughed even harder this time. Her husband sounded like a crossover between J.R. from Dallas and Tony Montana from Scarface. And he was starting to lose his patience.

“I’m not joking, dammit!” he shouted. He stood up punched the wall over Hillary’s head. She felt silent.

“Well, if you aren’t my answer is no. I can’t even believe you’re suggesting it. Do you know me at all?” and most importantly, did she know him at all? Had she really married someone who would think of such a terrible act and expect her to go along with it?

“Get off your high horse, Saint Hillary! I know you’re capable of this and much more. You willingly cheated on your husband who loves you ~~so~~ just to get a taste of power. You’re a harpy, why won’t you collaborate on this? Do you hate me so much that you have your own plan to reach the top and you won’t even include me? Well you’re going to fail! Without me you would be nothing but a wannabe lawyer living in D.C. with twelve cats.”

“I’m sure the cats would make better company than you” she said defiantly and he responded with a slap, so forceful her head hit the headboard. Once the initial shock passed and with tears in her eyes, she returned that slap. “Do not touch me ever again! I’m not going to help you with your evil and incredibly stupid plan. Frankly, I thought you were smarter than this.”

“You don’t know a damn thing, you dumb bitch!” he told her. She wanted to slap him but he caught her hand wrenched it behind her back, making her yelp in pain. “I’m doing this for us! So we can change the world like we’ve always dreamt about! But you won’t help me because you’re a slut and the only thing you’re good at is opening your legs for the highest bidder” he pushed her away and stormed towards the window. He took a deep breath but instead of calming down, he tore down the curtains in a sudden outburst of rage, exposing the violent storm outside. He went to the vanity and threw all her beauty products to the floor, followed by all those in their bathroom and then took some of her clothes from her closet and tore them up in two with his hands.

Hillary, tired of his theatrics, went to leave the room but the door wouldn’t open. She looked him and he proudly took out both keys from his breast pocket before putting them back in his pocket silently letting her know that he wouldn’t give them to her. Resigned, she went back to the bed and sat still as she watched him break everything. She tried not to let sadness nor fear invade her but it was futile.

“Are you done yet?” she asked him with disdain, trying to mask her real feelings, an art she’d mastered over the years. “You know, your spoiled brat outbursts are not going to make me change my mind, and you’re the one who’s going to pay for what you broke, not me. If you add the divorce lawyer’s costs, I think you can kiss that yacht you so desperately want goodbye. Oh, and there are secret security cameras recording all this. I got them installed this afternoon after you showed your true abusive colors” the last part was a lie, but she hoped he believed it. Based on the way he looked at her, she knew he had.

“You think I can’t hurt you? You think you’re untouchable, babe?” he let out a sadistic laugh.

“I’m not afraid of you” she told him defiantly. The truth is that she was. There was nothing that scared her more than her husband’s volatility, but she had to remain strong.

“I’m afraid that is the wrong answer, my dear” he went back to the bathroom and came back with a bottle of some liquid he threw at her. He opened a drawer and took out a lighter, and Hillary suddenly understood. For the first time, she was genuinely afraid for her life.

She tried to think of something as Joe flicked the lighter and smiled at the flame with such a maniacal look Hillary’d never seen in her husband’s eyes. He was relishing the utter fear he saw in her bright expressive eyes. Unbeknownst to her, it was just water but he wouldn’t let her know that. He’d enjoy torturing her.

“Joe… please don’t do this. We could both get badly hurt. We could destroy this bedroom. Remember it’s a federal building, not our property. And you… you would go to jail… you don’t want that, do you?” she tried to calm him down, but he was not deterred.  

“I don’t care. If I’m going down, you’re going down too. In flames” he smiled. She’d never seen a scarier smile. Her husband was a complete psychopath and she wished she’d seen the signs earlier. She looked everywhere trying to find an escape, knowing that with any false move, he wouldn’t hesitate to set her on fire.

By luck or by chance, a sudden crack of thunder distracted him for a fraction of second and Hillary took the opportunity to knock the lighter out of his hand and kicked it so it was under the bed. But with her new position closer to him and his towering height, he had an advantage over her. He swiftly wrapped his hands around her neck and squeezed. Hillary let out a terrifying scream and he watched triumphantly as her face turned a deep red, and the life began to leave her eyes.  

The next thing he heard was someone trying to break the door down. He knew it was the Secret Service but he would not stop. He was doomed so he may as well kill her. That way Bill Clinton would never have her. That’d be a battle won by Joseph Francis Hayes.

However fate was not on his side. Taking advantage of his momentary distraction, Hillary summoned all the force she didn’t know she possessed and grabbed a nearby lamp and smashed it against her husband’s skull. He fell limp to the floor as the door burst open and six armed agents rushed to her side.

Still in shock, Hillary, could only look at her husband as he laid there with blood flowing from his head, staining the carpet, wondering if she’d killed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Thank you so much for your incredible response to last chapter and to the whole fic. It means the world to me.  
> Special thanks to EAS because she really helped me with this one!  
> Only 2-3 chapters left!


	17. Chapter 17

The following morning, Bill found her on the patio. She was sitting on the stairs, overlooking the rose garden. Despite last night’s stressful situation, she looked serene, almost expectant. He knew she was probably thinking about her future, a future that he probably wouldn’t be able to be part of. 

In retrospect, he felt like he failed her. He’d had his suspicions that Joe was abusive but he convinced himself that he was overreacting or simply believed her when she told him it wasn’t a big deal and that Joe barks but never bites. That should have been his first clue, people inside this type of relationships often tend to brush things off, to convince themselves that it’s normal. It’s the people who love them who usually have to act on. 

But again, like when she left her alone—or with _him_ to be precise— when she miscarried, he was too self-absorbed to really be what she needed. No wonder why she hated him now. Nevertheless, he still loved her, that was painfully clear to him. If only he could have loved her right when he had the chance... He stopped that train of thought. This was not a time for self-pity nor to reflect on the lost chances or what could have been. This time, he would focus on her, on what she needed. Like it should always have been. 

He approached her tentatively and sat next to her. He looked at her. He could tell she hadn’t slept the night and despite that she looked beautiful. There was a new glow about her, an aura of something he couldn’t quite explain but it only made her more irresistible in his eyes. He found himself scooting closer to her. 

“Hey” he managed. She smiled briefly before answering with the same monosyllabic greeting. He was relieved that she didn’t seem angry. In fact, she seemed comfortable in his presence. “So how are you?” 

“I’m fine, really. I... I made it out alive, and that is something I’m deeply grateful for“ he nodded, encouraging her to keep speaking. “It’s like I see the beauty in little things. For example, see that orange rosebud over there?” she pointed to a little rose on the bush next to them “it’s been blossoming the whole day. I love having this natural paradise in the White House. I’m gonna miss it when I leave”. 

Of course, now that her husband was no longer the Vice President, she had to go too. Bill found that incredibly unfair. He wished he could offer her the job, but he knew her well enough to know she would decline. Moreover, he wanted her to choose her own path, to be with him—professionally or, in his wildest dreams, romantically—only if she wanted to.

“What that bastard did to you is unforgivable. All these years of abuse and then trying to kill you” Hillary didn’t seem surprised he’d been briefed about the whole incident. She adopted an unreadable expression and he didn’t know whether to continue “I’m sorry, Hill.” 

“Don’t. It’s ok. We all came out better. Joe is going to a mental hospital so he can get the help she needs, and I... I feel relieved. I feel like I’ve gotten a second chance. Believe it or not, I learned a lot of things after what happened last night and I’m surer than ever of where I stand.” 

“Tell me about it, please” he encouraged her again. She looked at him, a little too shyly but nevertheless she spoke. 

“First of all I realized that I wasn’t happy. That I couldn’t recall the last time I was truly happy” she noticed the offended look on his face and quickly clarified. “You made me happy, Bill. You truly did despite all the forces looming. I don’t know what you felt or thought and frankly, I don’t think I really want to reopen those wounds by talking about what went wrong but I want you to know that in the short time we were together you made everything better. But see? That’s part of the problem. You did it. I want to be the artifice of my own happiness” he listened carefully, taking it all in. “And I want to be loved.” 

“I love you” he blurted out without thinking. It was nothing but the truth. It hurt him to see the shocked look on her face, but it was quickly replaced by a quizzical shaking of her head. 

“I realized, that how can I be loved if I don’t love myself? I need some time to learn to do that. To start doing the things that I love, away from everything, from all those prying eyes and fake people. Just me, myself and I. That’s why I think I’m leaving the US for a while.” 

Although this certainly hurt and disappointed Bill, he knew this was what she wanted, so he would try to be supportive like he should have been all along. “Where will you go?” 

“I don’t know yet, probably Europe. Greece has always beckoned me I don’t know why. Perfect combination of history and beaches, I guess. When I was little I was completely riveted by the Greek myths; Apollo and Daphne, Eurydice, Aphrodite…  I have always wanted to visit the land where they took place. The food is great food, too. I really love olives.” 

Bill smiled, he could tell she was excited. And she was, but she was also anxious. There was something she had to tell him. For a moment, she flirted with the possibility of living him in the dark, afraid of his reaction, but he was going to find out either way. Besides, that was not who she was. He deserved to know, and there was no time like the present. 

“There is something I need to tell you. I’m pregnant. It’s yours” she simply said, without beating around the bush. He looked astonished and she feared he wasn’t happy about the news. “Look, it is what it is. I didn’t plan it, but it happened. You don’t have to do anything. You can do what you will with this information. You can be a part of the child’s life or we can pretend someone else is the father because I’m not having an abortion.”  

“How do you know I’m the father?” he managed to say. 

 “Because Joe is sterile, he’s known since we met but I just found out two days ago” she said matter-of-factly, not willing to let emotion get the better of her. 

Bill got even angrier with Joseph for lying to her like that but he was also shocked. That meant… that meant the baby she lost five years ago was also his. Sadness suddenly struck like a lighting bolt as he remembered. His coping mechanism was thinking that the baby may have been Joseph’s but now he knew the truth and he felt guiltier. If only he’d protected her better. If only he’d been with her through it all instead of distancing himself when everything became even more complicated. As much as he was prone to wallowing, he knew it was not the time. He had a second chance. And this time he wanted to do things right. 

“I won’t let you go to Greece” he regretted his words as soon as he saw the angry look on her face. He should have known better than to explicitly prohibite Hillary Rodham from doing something. 

“I mean I want you to stay so I can be there for you every step of the way, I really want to. You’ve made me the happiest man on this earth for the second time and I know I don’t deserve it, but thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart” he could tell she was touched, that the ice around her heart was slowly thawing. “You know I’m the President. I have a responsibility to the people of this country. Please, don’t go. Do it for me.” 

“No!” she shouted, startling him. “I’m sick of doing things for you, for everyone. For the first time, I want to do something for me and you’re not going to stop me!” 

“I’m the father!” he said, raising his tone to almost match hers. “I love you, Hillary, but don’t you think I’m going to let you do whatever you want and exclude me from his or her life even if we are not together.” 

“If you loved me, you’d let me go. I feel like I’m drowning here” she said, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. “Everything reminds me of him, of last night, of us, of that fateful evening five years ago. I’m not happy here. I… feel like I cannot be myself. Everybody is always watching me. The media has already found out about what happened with Joseph and they keep bombarding my secretary with interview requests, they are waiting at the White House gates too. I feel like a prisoner in a place that now more than ever doesn’t feel like home and it’s going to get worse when they find out I’m carrying the President’s child.” 

Bill was silent. She was right about that. The press wouldn’t leave her alone and it would certainly be stressful for her and thus, potentially dangerous for the baby. However, he so wanted to be with her through her pregnancy, like his own father never could. He was torn. 

“I’ll be back for the baby’s birth. You deserve to be the first to meet your son or daughter.” 

Compromise. That was something they could reach and would have to do a lot after the baby was born. He didn’t want to be engaged in a bloody legal battle against her but he wasn’t going to give up his right to be part of his baby’s life. They’d have to compromise and it was better to start now, so Bill reluctantly agreed. 

“I’m going to miss you” he told her, truthfully. 

“I’m not leaving yet. There are so many things I have to plan before I do. Also, I have to go for an ultrasound in five days. If you want, you can come with me.” 

“I’d love that” he smiled at her and she felt a pleasant warmth in her chest.

She admired how his kind smile lit up his features. He was happy and she felt proud to be the one to give him such joy. She smiled back, she wanted him to be happy. It was then when she realized she had forgiven him, that the heaviness was lifted and she no longer felt consumed by sadness and rage when she was in his presence. Instead, she felt and odd sense of comfort. However, forgiving didn’t mean forgetting. She couldn’t let him back into her life in the same capacity. At most, he would be her friend and co-parent, no matter what her heart wanted, and it was as clear as day that her heart wanted him still. Perhaps the distance could help. Ready to take the first steps, she stood up. 

“I have to go now” she told him. “There are some things I have to deal with”

Sensing her internal battle, Bill let her go. As he watched her move farther and farther from him to eventually disappear inside the building, he couldn’t help but think of Jonathan Bach’s famous quote;

_If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were._

He just hoped she’d come back to him. He’d never wished anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a few paragraphs at the beginning of last chapter as I accidentally forgot to paste them. Go check them out to understand the story better.   
> Thank you all for your support and for bearing with me and my procrastination. Only one chapter left!


	18. Chapter 18

Almost four months had passed since she left for Greece and Bill found himself missing her more than he thought possible. During the first month, she sent him letters almost weekly and they even talked on the phone a couple of times, one of them, probably the most touching one, was to congratulate him on his acquittal. However, they suddenly became rare and overly formal. 

Of course he knew why. There were rumors that he was dating Sylvia Warner, the Emmy-winning actress and the daughter of Hans Warner, one of his most generous donors. There was nothing there. The few times they saw each other it was always with a group of people, but the tabloids liked to twist everything to foster controversy. He wasn’t surprised that Hillary believed them, that she believed the worst of him, but nevertheless he was disappointed. Every day he felt they were drifting more and more apart. 

At Bill’s insistence, she had travelled with a Secret Service agent despite not being the Second Lady any longer and he was glad because it became practically the only way to really know how she was doing. He learnt that she was based on an island near Athens, and she could easily get to Athens in case of an emergency. She lived in a cozy seafront hotel and was volunteering at a local kindergarten for low-income children, teaching English. And she was getting closer to one teacher in particular. Young, tall, tanned, with a degree in Psychology from St. Andrews and… single.

When Bill found out, his blood boiled. He had to do something or he would lose her forever. 

*** 

Hillary was on the balcony, incredibly flustered. She knew he was in Europe, in an official visit to Italy, and suspected that he’d probably try to get in touch with her, maybe even visit her, and she was bracing herself for that. But she was not prepared to see him without warning in the restaurant of the hotel, looking as handsome as ever and ready to turn her world upside down once again. She heard a noise behind her and turned around.

“What are you doing here? Who gave you the keys?” she asked him, utterly angry at the intrusion, both to her suite and to her life.

“I’m the President of the United States, I have my ways” he gave her a lopsided smile that made her week at the knees, but at the same time she was mad he was so cocky. 

“I don’t care ~~if~~ who you are, this is my room and you entered without my permission. Get out!” she screamed and pointed at the door, but he stood unmoved and Hillary was beyond angry. “If you don’t get out I’ll get someone to get you out!” she moved past him and towards the door, but he grabbed her arm and stopped her forward progress. His warm touch did nothing to appease her. In fact, it set her on fire. 

“Hillary… don’t be like this. I came here because I needed to see you. I miss you and I need you. I can’t live without you” he told her, pouring his heart out. 

“Why? Isn’t miss Sylvia not enough for you? Isn’t one woman enough for you?” Hillary was starting to see a pattern. Firstly, he cheated on his wife with many, including her. When they broke up, he found someone else to cheat on his wife and when Ann left him and he was dating someone else, he came back for her. A vicious circle she didn’t want to be part of. 

“There is nothing between Sylvia and me! Don’t try to deflect I’m not the one who’s cheating here, why don’t you tell me about your little Greek teacher?” his word of choice shocked Hillary but it was deliberate. 

“Cheating? We are not together, Bill! I can do whatever I please with whom…” 

“You’re mine!” he grabbed her by the shoulders and tried to shake some sense into her. He stopped when he saw her wince in pain. “Sorry…” 

“You have to be kidding me! Five fucking years without a single call and not even a word to me but suddenly you’re all possessive when you feel threatened?” 

“I love you! And I want to be with you!” he blurted out, too quickly and impulsively to be a lie. Hillary’s heart started beating faster, hot tears pooling in her eyes. 

“Love me? You love me?” she snorted, her tears now falling down her face like waterfalls. It was what she’d always wanted, someone to love her, but not like this. She wanted to be loved right. “Fuck you, Bill! What do you want from me?” 

“You, just you” he kissed her, slowly at first but she deepened it, made it rougher. She started unbuttoning his shirt and took him to bed. 

*** 

Hillary was on her fours, panting and feeling her wetness flow as Bill pounded into her. Following her encouragement, he was being rough, but not rough enough. Angry at herself for falling so easily, she didn’t feel she deserved him to be loving and caring. She wanted him to make her pay for her own weakness.

“Harder” and harder he thrust. “Spank me” and so he did. She let out a high pitched moan, feeling the pain merge with the pleasure. She wanted more. “Hurt me” he spanked her a little harder, trying not to hurt her despite her plea. “Hurt me!” she screamed. “Punish me!” 

“What the fuck, Hillary?” he pulled out and stood still, trying to figure her out. He heard her soft cries and without wasting more time, he gathered her in his arms. 

“I’m sorry” she whispered. He thought she’d never sounded so vulnerable. All the walls were finally down. This was the real, raw Hillary. 

“Don’t be. Just let it out” he encouraged her. He dropped a kiss to her head and held her as she cried. When he heard her sobs subsiding, he motioned for her to lie down on her back. 

“You’re beautiful, inside and out. You don’t deserve anything bad that happened to you” he paused to wipe one of the few remaining tears that was running down her cheek. “You deserve all the love in the world. Please, let me try to make things right. Let me love you right.” 

She nodded, looking at him with her big blue eyes full of emotion and her heart threatening to burst. His gaze conveyed all the love he had for her and it gave her hope. Everything was going to be alright. 

He lied on top of her, careful not to crush her prominent belly. He kissed her softly, sweetly, savoring her. He moved his lips to her jaw and started peppering kisses down her neck. She shivered when he reached her full breasts and sucked an overly sensitive nipple into his mouth. He continued his path down her body, pausing when he reached her swollen belly. 

With all that happened since he entered her room, he hadn’t had time to properly admire her growing stomach. Their baby was inside, made with love and to be loved. A dream come true. He kissed it delicately, hoping his child could feel his love. As if on cue, it kicked. His eyes filled with tears, as did Hillary’s. “I love you” he whispered against her belly his lips lightly grazing the taunt skin, then he looked up at Hillary and mouthed a “thank you”. 

He resumed his way south, stopping at the apex of her tights. He planted delicate kisses on her inner thighs, her mound, and finally, on the place she needed him the most. Hillary closed her eyes, abandoning herself to the sublime sensations he was creating inside of her as he made love to her most intimate part with his mouth. 

*** 

Hillary woke up when the first rays of sunlight kissed her face, feeling more relaxed and safe than she had in a long time because she was in his arms. She opened her eyes to find his light aquamarine eyes already awake and looking at her. He pulled her closer and closed his eyes again, relishing the time before they had the conversation. 

“So…” Hillary started almost immediately, never one to beat around the bush. “We need to talk. First, I would like to apologize. I could have contacted you, too. I could have tried to fix things with you, but my damn pride and my stupid barriers prevented me from trying reach out five years ago. I pushed you away too and maybe if I hadn’t, we wouldn’t be in this situation now. I’m sorry.” 

“Please, don’t. I distanced myself from you, I didn’t even go to the hospital to see you and there’s not a day when I don’t regret not being there to support the woman I love.” 

“Why did you do it?” she asked. Her tone wasn’t judgmental or reproaching, she was merely curious at this point. Bill sighed.

“After you fainted, I was going to the White House clinic with you and the Secret Service, and as soon as I arrived there, the doctor greeted me and congratulated me for my promptitude. I didn’t understand anything but he led me to a room where Ann lied in bed. She’d tried to kill herself. When she found out you were pregnant she thought I was going to leave her for you” he looked at her blue eyes that were wide open. She was both horrified and sad. “I was feeling incredibly guilty I drove her to that point but my heart belonged to you. So I went to see you and you were with him. Holding each other and crying together. I told myself that he was your husband, that he made you happy, that the baby you just lost could have been his, and I cowardly returned to her to alleviate my guilt and tried everything to erase you from my memory and my heart.” 

“You were not a coward, Bill. You just have such a big heart I know you didn’t want anyone to get hurt” she told him calmly, trying to reassure him. 

“But I hurt you. If I hadn’t distanced myself like that maybe you wouldn’t have had to go through what you did with him. And Ann ended up leaving me anyway” Bill sighed. 

“Don’t think that. My last days with him were terrible but I came out as a whole new person and I’m truly happy. I think I needed to be by myself for a while” there was a brief silence as Bill pondered over her words. Did that mean there was no future together? No, after what happened last night, he couldn’t just let her go again. 

“Why did she leave you?” her voice startled him. “You told me you had an open marriage so it can’t be just because you cheated on her again. Was it because the humiliation or was your affair with _her_ more than physical? Did you love her, Bill?” 

“No, I didn’t, it was purely physical. You know Ann and I didn’t have this type of relationships, we were just friends. I think therapy helped her to realize that, and the reason why we didn’t work romantically, or why she wouldn’t work romantically with anyone like me. Now she finally accepts who she is and she’s seeing someone back in Arkansas that makes her happy; a woman” Hillary was silent, taking it all in. Bill worried she was still having doubts about his character. “Hillary, I hope you don’t think Monica and I… I never loved her, but I never took advantage of her like my detractors are claiming. It was consensual and the truth is that she pursued me first. You have to believe me.” 

“I do. You’re just so easy to fall in love with, so good, smart and irresistible. I mean look at me. God knows how much I’ve cried over you but here I am back in your arms” she sighed, resigned to the fact that he was the drug she could never quit. She felt him tense and propped herself up a little so her eyes connected with his. “And there is nowhere I’d rather be.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I love you so much and I want to love you right, like you deserve” he could tell she was apprehensive. “What is it going to take for me to earn your trust again? To win you back?” 

“Honestly, a lot” she confessed and Bill looked down, embarrassed and sad. “But I’m willing to try. I’m willing to give you another chance. Make no mistake, I don’t need you or anybody that’s something I’ve rediscovered on this trip. But the truth is, you make me happier, safer, more loved. But I want you to know I’m not going to be the victim anymore so if you ever screw up again I swear…” 

He silenced her with ~~her~~ a short but passionate kiss that left them both wanting more. 

“I won’t screw up, I promise. I love you so much” he sweetly pecked her lips and looked into her vibrant blue eyes. He wanted to stare into them forever. He wanted them to be the first thing he saw when he woke up and the last thing he saw every night before falling asleep. “Marry me, Hillary. Be my First Lady.” 

“What? You’re crazy. We just got back together and you are asking me to marry you?” she couldn’t believe it. 

“Crazy for you” he simply said and kissed her. At first, she didn’t respond and Bill feared he’d gone too far but a couple of seconds is all it took for her to kiss him back with the same intensity. “So, will you marry me” 

Hillary shook her head. There was no doubt in her mind. He was going too fast and she had no desire to get into another marriage, especially with all the uncertainty surrounding them at the moment. But she could tell he was crestfallen and that broke her heart so she clarified. “Not now”

“But maybe one day?” he was still hopeful and she smiled. She couldn’t deny she was 

“Maybe one day” she smiled. She couldn’t deny the prospect of being his wife and having a real family with him one day didn’t sound awful at all. He was her one true love, she was certain of it now. Nobody made her feel the way he did, and she wanted to savor every second of it. “But right now, I want you to make love to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END!  
> Thank you all for bearing with me throughout this journey. Without your support I wouldn't have finished it.  
> I really hope you liked it and as usual, shoutout to EAS for her invaluable help.   
> Let me know what you think if you can <3

**Author's Note:**

> I took some liberties in this one. Bill and Hillary never met at Yale as in this fic she's around 5 years younger.  
> This said, I'm really excited and I really hope you liked it.  
> 


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